Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: prose

  • I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I want to embrace my fears
    Even though I end up crying for so many reasons
    I want to love the pains in my heart

    Sometimes I have the feeling that I am in a ballroom
    With thousands of mirrors covering the walls and ceilings
    Each mirror reflecting a different image of myself

    I have to break every chain of the past that holds me captive
    Every day I am reborn as a new creature who is essentially made of stars
    I wonder how much of myself am I willing to lose to please the conventions

    Every time I write
    I am always scared of overexposing myself
    And anxiety overcomes

    People think I am too weird, complicated and anticonventional
    Just because they don’t understand me
    They cannot see in me anything else than a tropical flower

    Sometimes I am subject to street harassment
    Which is a habit that will never pass as well as the rape culture
    Society normalises and supports sexual objectification and criticisms

    I am a descendent of the witches who weren’t burned.
    Esther Racah

  • Struggles

    Struggles

    Struggles

    You always have to see the positive side of your struggles. No matter how much you suffer and feel hopeless. There will always be a different perspective on the way to take care of your issues. During my whole life, I often met toxic people who took advantage of me, belittling, humiliating and exploiting me. No matter how much I tried to be loved. No matter how much I strove to be appreciated. The only things I got were bullying, abuses, insults, lies and deceptions. With time, I noticed that all those “inconveniences” were coming from mediocre, ignorant, abusive and narrow-minded “humans”. Some of them were ready to blame and label me just because of rumours they heard about me or because of shallow conjectures. Some others were so bothered by my personality that they sought to belittle and blame me. In this way, they were feeling much better about themselves, satisfying their ego.

    Hence, what I want to express is that you have to ignore negative opinions. Just don’t take those perspectives too much into consideration because those mental confinements may affect you. You don’t need the approval of others. You don’t need their opinions nor their presence in your life. With all the due respect I owe to everyone, I chose to choose myself first and make myself happy without too many worries and struggles that come from disappointments connected to someone else. Therefore I was noticing that my reflection was distorted in those broken mirrors, which were used on purpose to make me feel despicable. And they were just wretched and miserable tools to scorn me and making me feel dismayed and sorrowful. But they failed because I shine my light fearlessly, and I know how much I’m worth. 
    Esther Racah

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