Nightmares and dreams invited me into their fairytale world on a dark night where the wails of the wind and the rustling of the leaves swept away by the impetuous wind kept me awake in the darkness of the night. However much I wanted to flee the dark omens of a destiny that had condemned me to an existence of darkness and nightmares, the truth revealed itself to me in the form of ancient manuscripts where I found symbols unknown to me engraved, but which fascinated me and whose meaning I tried so hard to discover. Nightmares and dreams became my faithful companions, spectres and ghosts of the past, anxieties of the future, heaviness of the present. All seemed to form a court of my faithful followers, of whom I was no longer afraid but a part of. Just as dried flowers crumbled upon the ground, mingling with the dry leaves. As I proceeded, I tried to catch sight of a light that could guide me on my uncertain and unstable path, where anguish served as my guide. It seemed that the night had become infinite and that the day had no longer found its role in that realm of magic and gloominess. Nightmares and dreams seemed to follow me wherever I went, and it did not seem at all a tangible reality in which I was living all these contrasting emotions in a swirling chaos that sucked me into the abyss of obliteration. However much I wanted to extricate myself from that labyrinth that held me prisoner and did not let me leave free, alas, what I could only do was retreat into my imaginary refuge where I had built myself a dwelling inhabited by nightmares and dreams, by illusions and perdition, by strangeness and spectres that instilled in me a strange sense of having lost everything that I had possessed. And so it was that I became eternal in my misery, from which I could not flee, like ivy tendrils entwined around me, which did not let me escape from that realm of hallucinations and trepidations, where my heart had been imprisoned in a crystal casket. All my agitation had been in vain. Fate, so dark and cruel, had decreed, by a decree unknown to me, my eternity made of nightmares and dreams.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: shadows
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Nightmares And Dreams
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The Shadows Of Solitude
The shadows of solitude followed me in my endless journey of self-discovery
No storm or fog could distract my search for the mysteries that my fate dared to hide from my gaze
Extravagant fantasies appeared as evanescent chimaeras glowing like stars in the darkness of the night
Ravens and crows gathered around me, whispering arcana secrets to me, as they already possessed the knowledge reserved for immortal spirits
Even the rain and wind didn’t encounter an effortless manner to rule that kingdom
Where inky feathers fell all over me while I saw blank mirrors floating like autumn leaves on a pondThe shadows of solitude guided me in the deepest night in the midst of the misty forest of my dreams
I followed the trail enlightened by scattered candelabras and poetry rhymes
My perseverance was unapologetic and I cared only for my own wonder
Since the day I decided to abandon my bitter memories and leave them in the swamp of my past
The majestic and fierce vault of a Gothic cathedral hid the vast starry sky, inducing me to listen to the sumptuous melody of an ancient organ
I felt dizzy as if under a magic spell that had been cast on me by my most hidden desiresThe dimness of my fears vanished immediately as if they never existed and they couldn’t hurt anymore
So much glistening light I found in the deepest gloominess
Guided by my untamed heart ready to embrace every unreachable mirage
I followed the phantasmic echoes of the nocturnal clouds staring at me in my intricate voyage without a specific destination
Since the day I had willingly lost myself within the mist of my own dreams
I was no longer startled by my limits because I decided to become infinite and potent like a lone glistening luminary
Belonging to eternity
Perfect in my frailties.
Elisabetta Esther -
Waiting For My Dreams
Waiting for my dreams to wither like dry flowers
Constantly sinking into the oblivion of sadness and dizziness
Unaware of what could happen to my soul
Having lost every hope to save my dreams
Finding my sweet haven in my darkest grief
Slowly avoiding thinking and surrendering to the course of my vicious fate
I let the ocean waves swallow me into the chasms of unconsciousness
To avoid seeing the reflection of my memories in mirrors of shady dismay
The silence of the night lulled me to a deep slumber where I finally could feel peace and gaiety
My idle heart became a frozen stone full of sand and dust
Whilst I wandered in the desolate forest of my fears
Waiting for my dreams to be my only consolation
For I was aware of the evanescence of the stars gleaming in the night sky
Indeed, every single anguish of mine became a tiny leaf that the cold breeze lifted away from my gaze
So quickly was flowing my existence like a tumultuous river that I lost the sense of time
And I remained therefore languid in a garden without flowers or trees
A garden of darkness and shadows where no mortal could find me
My foremost hideaway in which I could flee the hideous threats from the world of reality
I didn’t pay attention to the consequences of my enchanted illusions
Dread and cynicism accompanied me at every step as unwelcome and unavoidable guests
Secrets were locked within me and only nonsense was guiding me in the eternal gloom of my seclusion
In vain I strove to reach out to the moonlight
Nevertheless, I had been cast away too far
Surrounded by nothing but loneliness and bleakness
I was left crying tears made of madness and turmoil.
Elisabetta Esther -
In The Abyss Of My Thoughts
In the abyss of my thoughts
I felt the shadows of my dark memories
All over my dreams like hunting ghosts
Feeding my fears with their perfidyI felt the chills of my terrible past
Breaking my heart into a myriad of disillusions
I begged my broken mirrors not to bring to life those remembrances
Crowding my nightmares in desolate nights of anguishEverything now seems so different and irreversible
My cries are full of tears of liberation
Even though I cannot escape from the labyrinth of my mind
It feels like my soul aches has become my radianceMy nightmares came to be my companions
I’m unbound from my ancestral ropes
Nevertheless
My soul is overwhelmed with a cloudy trepidationI strive to endure all those ghouls
Surrounding me like unexpected ancestors
Whenever they visit me by day and night
Covering my fragile voice with their scary howlsIn vain, I begged them to definitely vanish
But they came back over and over again
Nothing could prevent them from visiting me
And I struggle to welcome them as welcome guestsIn the abyss of my thoughts
I rely on my hopes to linger like a lost butterfly
While every storm tries to bring me back to the castle of blight
Committed to the solemn oath of silence and forgetfulnessIn vain, I implored all the stars of the night sky to find a haven
Not even the immense ocean waves were willing to listen to my concerns
Whenever my heart aches, it echoes all over the universe
Loneliness evolved into my only safe island of peaceI wished I could continue to live inside my sparkling cloud of illusions
I desired to be the princess of my dream kingdom
However, there I lingered
In the abyss of my thoughts.
Elisabetta Esther -
Castaway’s Desires
Castaway’s desires enticed me in the long winter nights, when the frozen branches of hollow trees caressed me softly, as they needed to approach my body.
The scent of burning candles devoured my enthusiasm and reminded me only of my hopeless misery. An everlasting burning desire strove to swallow my heart greedily like an invisible demon.
My insensitive inertia shattered my soul into pieces and I let the devastation take advantage of me. I was born to dissolve and to perish an infinite number of times in endless ways.
Frenzy and turmoil were my loyal guides like flaming torches in the deepest darkness, and they offered me their improper wisdom. I felt alive only because I embodied the distress that consumed me, leaving me in flames.
Indeed, it was true that scorching passion sometimes might have let me fall in love with things that destroyed, and that was what penetrated every part of me.
I was made of fire and glaze surrounded by the cold mist of my dark chamber where dimly lit candles were my only merriment.
The sweet screams of the night recalled to me who I really was. Obsession carved my vein instilling a tainted poison instead of blood. I became a creature of the realm of shadows and wraiths.
I was consumed by my own fantasies and foolish hallucinations. I had become the queen of frenzy among my lost memories of worlds which I once belonged to.
No mortal entity could see me because I was visible only to creatures of my own. There was no transformation in my staticity.
I could perceive the manifestation of my own tempest, like a tiny vessel in a stormy sea. Lost in the labyrinth of my dreams and dread, I was unable to discover the existence beyond time.
The great mystery of seeking my reflection in the immense mirror of life made me realise my nothingness. There was no end and there was no beginning but merely a vague silence clinging to me like luscious ivy.
Elisabetta Esther -
Entangled In My Own Disquiet
Entangled in my own disquiet
I found myself in a state of confusion
Collapsing into a vortex of chaos and despair
I might have been able to overcome my fears
But I was not capable of escaping the lonelinessThere were no mirrors in my secret dwelling
Where candles and shadows were my loyal confidantes
And an absolute silence was soothing me like a soft lullaby
While my sighs hid tears of griefThinking of myself as a tiny leaf in an immense ocean
I was surrendered to fate, ready to be swallowed up in the abyss of oblivion
Lost in a turmoil of obsessions and dismayMany times I wished to escape from the labyrinth of my fantasies
But deceptions were always following my trail
I knew no serenity
Instead, I was condemned to wander endlesslyTime didn’t know me as I existed in a surreal dimension
I belonged to the realm of darkness and obliteration
And I was a victim of the impetuous winds of the long winter nightI felt the discomfort of reality
It was like wearing a sumptuous dress made of thorns and quills
I lived as a doll locked in an airtight boxNo creature could ever perceive me
No creature could ever hear my sobs and sighs
No mirror could reflect my imageI was inevitably entangled in my own disquiet
Although the stillness around me pacified my soul
I didn’t feel any urgency to rescue myself
Indeed, my drowsy heart couldn’t perceive anything anymoreI had no longing, no desire left
I’ve never been in the garden of devotion and love
I’ve always been shrouded in clouds of invisibility
Always surrounded by candles and spiderwebs
Lost in a cloud of incense and blooming night flowers
Elisabetta Esther -
Love Like A Sweet Poison
Love like a sweet poison seeped into the heart, and time no longer existed in the realm of the eternal night. Passion burned as an everlasting flame and it altered into eternal desire.
A tenacious devotion was rooted in a ground made of ice and stardust. And I stood among crimson roses and the nocturnal mist, under the sight of an eerie moon.
The darkness enveloped me like a sumptuous dress wrapped around me. The faraway shadows of anguish and dread were chasing me like ominous ghouls.
I was seeking ghosts that reminded me of lost loves while wandering accompanied by my madness as the only chaperone.
No pang could ever touch me anymore since I’ve been depleted of my heart that was standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, beating loudly like an incessant cry.
My only way to exist was to roam erratically without any guidance. I was already a creature of the world of darkness. I had altered a myriad times in numerous ways.
I had definitely forsaken the world of mortals, with whom I never felt any affinity. I didn’t mind losing myself in that tremendous labyrinth.
As far as I could proceed, I felt the nothingness swallowing me with delight. A storm had subjugated me and shattered my being.
Not even a speck of myself had been kept by the frozen soil, because a whirlwind had stolen my essence. I was held captive by the abyss of darkness and there were no expectations or delusions.
I finally remembered as a long-lost memory that time no longer existed, when love seeped into the heart like a sweet poison. It burned slowly, transforming into eternal desire.
And there I lay down underneath the soil soaked with ice and flames with my heart standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, dreaming fearlessly and ceaselessly like a funerary elegy.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Shadows Of Shame And Madness
The shadows of shame and madness spread over me like majestic, silent trees
While the wind whispered decadent lullabies to my ears during my deep slumber
I was dreaming and not, since I embodied my illusions in a game of love and hate
I had even forgotten my name and who I really was becoming
I tried to see my reflection in the several mirrors I encountered in my dreams
Each moment I could hold my memories no longer
I was incredibly erratic and mesmerised, although delighted
I sensed the scent of deception in my withered flowers, so full of decadence and broken passionsThe shadows of shame and madness darkened my windowless and hopeless abode
It was as if I had lost the ability to hold on to hopes that had vanished like grains of sand in the wind
And for the first time, I could see the dark clouds as ominous omens
I didn’t want to see because of the fear burning in my heart, bleeding for all the lost love
I had embraced a lugubrious isolation and I had shunned every contact with mortals
A deafening silence was my way to express myself and my feelings
Dark shadows had filled my heart with dismay and disdain
I had ceased to wait for my future tomorrows and I lived in an eternal state of fantasiesIn this realm with no time and orientation, it was like wandering in an endless desert made of dead roses and thorns
Even the cold rain hit me with its icy drops full of vengeance and scorn
As I encountered several versions myself dispersed along my path of dark solitude
The more I knew the truth, the more I wanted to forget
My only desire was to fly free like a bird among clouds and stars
I longed so much to disregard all my dismay and distress
As much as I could forget who I really was, however, I fell deep into the abyss of despair
And the tears of remorse and regret covered my face like a thick veil of anguishI had embodied my own sorrow, and the shadows of shame and madness obscured the sky
I didn’t see the sun or the moon, and the stars had shunned me
I had been forsaken by my own wicked fate
I wandered endlessly to fall in love with my dreams again
I strove to start again as I was never born
Although my heart was on fire like an inextinguishable flame, the burden of exhaustion sank me deep down the chasm of impenetrable and mighty darkness
I had vanished in the emptiness like a withered flower in the stormy wind
And not even the flowers and trees recalled my name
As I was never born.
Elisabetta Esther -
Among Heartbeats And Sighs
Among heartbeats and sighs, I passed my long summer nights, while dew from the flowers fell on my skin. Purity and passion blended, enticing me to the garden of the forbidden desires.
The wind carried the exquisite poison of night flowers to my lips, awakening my body. I was mesmerised and enchanted with the phantom beauty of my own descent.
I dreamed of marvellous roses sumptuously evoking delight and bliss. I grabbed and bit the fruits of frenzy and turmoil ready to satisfy my desire.
Desire and covetousness were my startling cravings, which made my heart beat again and again like a source of power. I was dominated by my passions that monopolised all my attention.
I fell into the trap of my mistakes and cried out all my pangs as if my teardrops could have erased all that dismay. I kept a multitude of longings in my secret treasure chest, which I sealed with tears and trepidation.
A gloomy cloud of fear and disillusion enveloped me threateningly, deterring me from staring at the luminaries shining bright in the dark blue firmament.
I was conquered like prey by wicked impulses, which were conducting me to the brink of uproar. I couldn’t find peace anymore in my slumber since evil nightmares were keeping me eternally awake.
Demise would have been the portal of my liberation, and instead, I was playing with ghosts and magical roses. I didn’t want to accept the truth, I desired to pretend that everything was perfectly terrible.
The silver moon gleamed upon me pouring its ethereal light over my garden of woe and sorrow. And among heartbeats and sighs, I remained silent and listened to the whispers of the nocturnal breeze.
I could scent the taste of toxic magic on my red lips. I felt a burden in my chest burning like an everlasting flame. I wished fervently to be a free butterfly, flying over enchanted flowers. I wished intensely to be a free bird, soaring high amidst clouds and stars.
A spell was cast over me, binding my heart to invisible phantoms. Desires had ensnared me in their vicious frolic, melting my heart into a lake of fire and ice. Therefore, I became a creature of that realm of shadows and darkness.
Elisabetta Esther -
Sweet And Mournful Vexations
Sweet and mournful vexations fell all over me like a midsummer rain shower, while I was enticed frantically by my nocturnal demons with shallow folly. All alone I tried to disentangle myself from those chains of obsession.
I could barely breathe and I wasn’t able to remember my name at all. So reserved and bashful as I was born, I couldn’t avoid wandering nowhere to find myself and the arcane secret locked by my fate.
I had wished for myself a different destiny that would have granted me solace and delights. No peace remained in my treasure chest but only the dust of decay and a sparkle of dismay.
A deafening silence claimed that I was insolent for my fearless dreams. I missed the calm nights at the candlelight, soothed by the sound of lullabies and ocean storms.
I envisioned the image of spectres each time I approached the silver surface of a broken mirror. A feverish delirium forced me to succumb to the darkness of the night.
I might have been a withered flower. I might have been a living creature. The gelid arrows of the frosty wind penetrated my heart that was burning like an everlasting flame. So frail I felt I could crumble like a crystal flower under the influence of devastation.
Maybe the abyss of descent had swallowed me like a wild monster from the underworld. Chaos bound me like a velvet veil fallen from the gloomy sky, while shadows hushed me as if I were on the brink of disclosing their enigmas.
Sweet and mournful vexations lulled me to my decay, engraving a mysterious elegy on every stone of my dungeon. A magnificent melancholy consoled me now that I was nothing but just the spoil of myself.
I had created my own doom by means of my own nightmares. Was I the real and only creator of my own oblivion? That question echoed in my head forever like a haunting dream. I couldn’t even surprise myself anymore.
So greatly lured was I, drawn into the maze of my own turmoil, where each image promised ecstasy exclusively, and instead offered me only exquisite torments. So much intertwined I was in the spiderweb of my fears that I could not liberate myself.
Devoured by my own passions and obsessions, I entered the labyrinth of sweet and mournful vexations, which clung to my very heart like insidious ivy. Meanwhile, the imperceptible sound of the night surrounded me like a mystic mist. And therein I remained like a frozen butterfly in a garden of shimmering glaze.
Elisabetta Esther