Moping in solitude
Loyalty and pleasure
And a strange state of daze
It was neither plain nor fair
Yet as I sat alone
A weary heart desiring to go
So lost at last
I’m alone in everything
With dreams made of light
Before the eternal death
Suffering the time with faith
Discovering absurdities and disappointment
Moping in solitude,
Every time I woke up
And it would be a happy day
I walk around and fancy
It seems so little the pain I felt
To think again about how people acted and thought
The world is up to see an end
And I’ll see where I am going
The reason I have the capability to do so
One moment, of course, would be enough
Then know not even a day of desire
All would be easy but disgrace
Moping in solitude
Not looking for any doubt
I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
I found another smile today from the night
Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
Over and over again
On a pleasant highway
There was not even one reason to stay
But the road has gone high,
And, of course, loneliness
Where love grew dark
While seeing smirking faces
Moping in solitude
Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
A decadent comfort
If the end would come
Because I always knew what was now
I shouldn’t care
But listening to the last image
That would be very pretty
And yet it really cannot be known
Of what kind of things
I must seem to reach out too far
Beyond any limit and imagination.
I might envision my defeat
Loyal to my dreams
And always lost in the maze of discomfort
Always hated but never forgotten
The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
I will never conform to others’ will.
Esther Elizabeth Racah
