The Agony Of Uncertainty

The agony of uncertainty is my dwelling
It was all I had written on a mirror
A long sequence of characters
Which I used to write
And nothing further
Forever and never
I have been lost
Striving to remember my name and my story
Since I was born with a great devotion to art
Such joy should be life
Once everything has been forgotten with time

The agony of uncertainty is a tree in the sea
Where it is possible to be merry
A moment has come to bear a perceived memory
Like dreams repeatedly created and destroyed
Each season and new year
The time is past and never hides
Torments are shortened by days and nights
To avoid suffering and distress
I might become pleased as I would pretend
My past life never existed
Becoming something imaginary

The agony of uncertainty is a dark forest
Where the wounds never disappear
Only memories can unfold
Looking onward and writing my dreams
And all those unconcealed secrets
That the soul keeps as the deepest memories
The nightmares of the heart are lost in the dark
The fate of dark stars is entwined in indifference
The gloom of endless thoughts of sorrow
Lost forever in a silent emptiness
Which never dies

The agony of uncertainty and pain
Thereupon I move forward through the long desert of death
Reaching more intention and joy
My thoughts are made of fears
Bleeding each time, I became wiser
No hope was found in the devotion of love
Instants of lust in the deepest silence
Fretting about the decay of every bliss
Dread should last forever in death
When everything is lost
The truth is the door of a new consciousness

The agony of uncertainty and delight
Always shining in an infinite reality
My heart is truly sacred
Beyond deception and mendacity
Seeking the truth as an insight
When no choice is granted
The tears, like fright, lit the earth
The grief within my soul is still alive
I should not always be afraid
Gifted with patience to keep
My soul is bound to be naive.
Esther Elizabeth Racah