Tag: anxiety

  • The Mirror Of Fear

    The Mirror Of Fear

    The mirror of fear
    Shattered glass—
    Cracked reflection—
    Is that me?
    No—it can’t be—
    Distorted—twisted—
    Who is that?
    Who am I?
    The mirror—
    It shows something—
    Something dark—
    Something deceitful.

    The mirror of fear lies—
    It must lie—
    Or is it showing the truth?
    A truth I don’t want to see—
    A truth I fear.
    Fear…Dread
    It grips—tightens—
    The mirror shows it all—
    Every flaw—
    Every terror—
    Reflected back—
    No escape—
    Not from yourself—
    Not from the mirror.

    It watches—
    Always watches—
    Those eyes—
    Are they mine?
    They can’t be—
    Too dark—
    Too hollow—
    But they follow—
    Wherever I move—
    The reflection never leaves—
    It knows—
    It sees—
    Everything.
    A shadow—
    A figure—
    Behind me?
    Or just in the mirror?

    Cracks scatter—
    Fractures grow—
    But the reflection remains—
    Staring—
    Waiting—
    For what?
    For me to break—
    Like the glass—
    Like the mirror.
    Fear consumes—
    And the mirror of fear…
    It always knows.
    What hides within it—
    What it shows—
    It knows—
    More than me—
    It sees—
    What I won’t see.

    A scream—
    But is it mine?
    Or the mirror’s?
    Does it scream?
    Can it scream?
    Or is it just my mind?
    Falling—crumbling—
    The mirror cracks—
    Splinters—
    But still, it holds—
    It doesn’t shatter—
    It never shatters—
    Even as I do—
    Even as fear takes hold—
    The mirror of fear endures death—
    Watching—
    Knowing—
    Waiting…
    For the final crash.

    The mirror’s surface—
    It pulses—
    As if breathing—
    A living thing—
    Alive with my fears—
    Alive with my anxieties.
    I reach—
    To touch—
    But my hand recoils—
    From the cold—
    From the reflection—
    It never changes—
    Yet it shifts—
    A living enigma—
    Reflecting truths I can’t grasp—
    The more I look—
    The more it shifts—
    Revealing the darkest secrets
    Of my own mind—
    The mirror of fear—
    It waits—
    For me to accept and understand—
    For me to shatter in the endless darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Haunting Nightmares

    Haunting Nightmares

    Haunting nightmares unfolded in the stillness of midnight,
    Shadows drifted with restless purpose.
    Fear seeped into dreams, creating unseen pathways,
    Where the air had been murky with memories of old anxieties.

    Tree branches, hollowed and distant, moved through the darkness,
    Piercing the quiet with an unspoken dread.
    Forgotten fears etched their presence,
    Onto the silent canvas of the night.

    Sleep and wakefulness merged,
    Each breath was a thread woven into the dark.
    In those spaces where time seemed to dissolve,
    Terror took shape and form.

    Fragments of the past whispered and blended into the vast night,
    The imagination drifts away, caught in its own creations.
    The darkness expanded, swallowing every dream,
    Until dawn’s light broke the spell.

    Even when the day returned,
    The echoes of the night persisted,
    Shades lingering as reminders of the fragile boundary between reality,
    And the infinite realms conjured in darkness.

    Whenever the chill of night’s grip indulged,
    A spectral fragment of fear remained unseen.
    Wisdom clashed with madness that clung to the edges of unconsciousness,
    A silent relic of the night’s dominion.

    Stars shimmered faintly, barely gleaming through the abyss,
    Their light was a distant hope that was often lost within the gloom.
    The silent rustling of leaves became a cryptic hymn,
    Murmuring secrets to those who dared to lose themselves in the emptiness.

    Sinister memories fastened in the labyrinths of thought,
    Each was a trace, a reminder of paths once taken but now forgotten.
    The weight of invisible realms pressed upon each soul,
    Drawing forth shadows from the recesses of the minds.

    Whispers of the wind carried the scent of forgotten sorrows,
    A frozen stroke that traced the spine with its icy fingers.
    In the secrets of the night, woven with threads of fear and dismay,
    The hearts beat louder, like blasts against the silence.

    Haunting nightmares encroached as the darkness reluctantly withdrew,
    Leaving behind specs of their ethereal presence,
    Suspended in the fading shadows.
    Vivid horrors receded to the fringes of memory,
    Yet their impact endured, a reminder of the night’s grip.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Where The Mind Is Without Fear

    Where The Mind Is Without Fear

    Where The Mind Is Without Fear

    Fleeting mind, where are you flying? To the hills of restlessness, or to the dales of calm? To the depths of the oceans hitherto unexplored? Calm thyself, my greatest friend, or may I call you my most formidable foe, in times of unbridled emotional cataclysm?

    A focused mind is a calm mind, a mind which generates great power, enough to set the turbines of the hydroelectric plants into motion, a mind which brings forth the innumerable discoveries which bless mankind.
    Calm thee my friend, like a Zen master, a single ripple sending forth bursts of a sudden thought, to be eclipsed to oblivion by the calm mind.
    Restless mind, focus on your breath, the deep inspiration and expiration, till you become one with the breath; the state of mind called ‘Satori’, where time and tide stand still; the hours pass by into the fathomless deep void.
    The mind, the great tool possessed by humanity, you are not meant to be wasted on the millions of unwanted thoughts that wade through you, the quality of which, either makes life a beautiful paradise, or the abominable Hades akin to Dante’s Hell. Why my friend, my great mind do you send people into the depths of despair, the uncontrolled negative repetitive thoughts creating hitherto unheard of terms like ‘Depression’, ‘Anxiety’, and ‘Suicide’? Restless mind, when you accept things for what they are, instead of trying to change the world to suit your liking, would you not embrace peace?
    Mind like a volcano, why do you not accept the uniqueness of every human being, how would the world look like, if clad in similar colours, with nothing to break the drab monotony. Mind like water, you go with the flow, creating paths where none exist, filling the vacuum which exists, accepting the beauty of every present moment, the beauty in unevenness, and the unevenness in every beautiful form. My mind, when you see reality for what it is, rather than project your hopes and aspirations into the present, do you not distort the nature of reality and the nature of your progress? Mind, when you calm yourself, all thoughts fade away; you bear no angst towards anyone, and neither do the worries of the past nor the fears of the future torment you. You release everything, till there is nothing left to be released; you and the body you occupy then become one. This state of mind achieved by years of meditative practice is what they refer to as enlightenment, where you do not seek approval from others, and do not have to prove anything to anyone; a state where everything becomes effortless, there is no more struggle or strain, just the calm realisation of ones’ self.
    A mind truly without fear, is a mind without expectation or ego, where you cherish every moment for what it is, enjoy every activity for what it is, immerse yourself fully in the task at the moment-what the modern-day Psychologists call the ‘Zone’, … where hours seem like minutes, and time just fades away without much ado… and you remain in the ‘Divine Now.’

  • I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I want to embrace my fears
    Even though I end up crying for so many reasons
    I want to love the pains in my heart

    Sometimes I have the feeling that I am in a ballroom
    With thousands of mirrors covering the walls and ceilings
    Each mirror reflecting a different image of myself

    I have to break every chain of the past that holds me captive
    Every day I am reborn as a new creature who is essentially made of stars
    I wonder how much of myself am I willing to lose to please the conventions

    Every time I write
    I am always scared of overexposing myself
    And anxiety overcomes

    People think I am too weird, complicated and anticonventional
    Just because they don’t understand me
    They cannot see in me anything else than a tropical flower

    Sometimes I am subject to street harassment
    Which is a habit that will never pass as well as the rape culture

    Society normalises and supports sexual objectification and criticisms

    I am a descendent of the witches who weren’t burned.
    Esther Racah

  • The Paroxysm Of My Anxieties

    The Paroxysm Of My Anxieties

    The Paroxysm Of My Anxieties

    The Paroxysm of my anxieties
    Whenever I force myself to forget and forgive
    Like an explosion inside my head
    Memories hurt me profoundly and harshly
    Leaving me astonished
    Trying to survive
    In such a society
    I was guilty, and I am guilty to be pretty
    I was responsible, and I am responsible for being a woman
    My body and my personality had always been the issues
    Since I was provoking and I provoke too much
    So many times, I had the shame of myself
    So many times, I had to hide inside hideous and baggy clothes
    Panicking and freezing
    I wish I were born a glowing star
    So unreachable and untouchable
    In the infinity and sublimity of the universe.
    Esther Racah

  • Losing Everything

    Losing Everything

    Losing Everything

    Losing everything I try to cherish
    Every treasure has been taken away from me
    Loss can sometimes be gain
    And grief can sometimes be a relief
    So many emotions constellate the firmament of the soul
    As stars shining in different colour shades
    The incorporeal layers which coat my thoughts vanish with the time
    Astonishment and perplexity lead my life as I wander blindfolded
    Even when I strive to refrain from anxiety
    I fall into a bottomless pit of agony
    Surrounded by torments and fears
    I surrender to stupor and melancholy
    And as I try to flee
    The dreadfulness of life chases me down
    I give way to exhaustion and despair.
    Esther Racah

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