Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: melancholic

  • I Want To Be Like The Sea

    I Want To Be Like The Sea

    I want to be like the sea
    I want to be like the wind
    I want to be like the leaves floating free in the mist
    I want to fly away into a dream.
    Elisabetta

  • Beneath The Hollow Moon

    Beneath The Hollow Moon

    Beneath the hollow moon, I wandered behind shadows
    It seemed like a dream but it felt very tangible
    It was an ethereal feeling mixed with physical perceptions
    In a secret garden made of dead trees and withered blossoms

    The ephemeral veil of the night enveloped me
    I was an invisible creature of the night
    Hiding from mortal sight and dreaming with open eyes
    My visions and hallucinations had become reality

    The haze of darkness cast a spell on me
    Odd spirits offered me to drink from a goblet of poison
    It was a magic potion of oblivion and poison
    Whilst I sipped it, I fell into a deep slumber

    I had forgotten my name and the place where I dwelled
    I had become a ghost and a shadow of the night
    Imperceptible even to the stars and the moon
    I was lost in the labyrinth of my own nightmares

    I waited not for my death because I was no longer a mortal
    The sorrow and distress of the human world didn’t touch me anymore
    I was the darkness and the night
    Empowered but still a captive of this arcane underworld

    Every part of my incorporeal body belonged to this dungeon of royal decadence
    A victim of haunting eerie dreams, I had no other place where to go
    It didn’t matter how long I could have screamed my memories
    Nothing changed, and my fate stayed unaffected

    I had traded my freedom for a kingdom of death and ethereal phantasmagoria
    Beneath the hollow moon, I wandered endlessly
    Seeking my lost heart in the maze of resentment and silver coffrets full of secrets
    And each sigh of mine transformed into a raven rose.

    A heart full of sorrow and a crown of black roses on my head
    Nothing else.
    Elisabetta

  • The Bloom Of Oblivion

    The Bloom Of Oblivion

    The bloom of oblivion flourished everywhere
    The flowers of destruction and decay bloomed
    They paved my way to the abyss of death I was destined to follow
    Without hesitation, I followed them with devotion and sacrifice

    I lost my wisdom and my resilience to embrace a doomed fate of distress
    Each night had become my day, and my sun was the moon shining silvery gleams
    A gloomy silence surrounded me as a funeral hymn
    My withered heart was my only guide

    I wept and cried to the night sky that echoed my laments
    Beneath the indifferent gaze of the stars that mocked me
    As if I was a miserable creature who had lost every direction
    No compass was showing me the path

    I was alone in loneliness and prostration
    I could hear the scream of death from time to time
    I knew that I was bound to despair, and my
    existence had ceased
    My appearance was similar to the ghouls I was encountering

    I had lost everything, and nothing could have redeemed my life
    No entity could ever rescue me from my obliteration
    I had buried all my dreams, and no consolation could alleviate my suffering
    I stared at the moon with my eyes full of tears, but nothing could have been altered

    I couldn’t perceive anymore the passing of time
    The graveyard where I ended up was so dreadful with its blooming flowers of oblivion
    Every flower was blooming as a withered blossom
    And all the trees were hollow and dead since innumerable epochs

    No wish of mine could ever be granted
    The bloom of oblivion was everywhere in the realm of death
    And I stood still like a porcelain sculpture without blood in its veins
    I had lost my soul, and my heart had withered irredeemably
    Love and desires resided no longer in my heart
    Since everything was nothingness, and I was a tiny part of the immense void.
    Elisabetta

  • The Sirens’ Whispers

    The Sirens’ Whispers

    The sirens’ whispers echo in my mind
    Whenever I am immersed in my absurd thoughts
    All I wish for is to escape to my enchanted land of dreams
    My heart is captivated by dreams and wonder

    I belong to a world of illusions and magic
    Where I am free to wander through unknown realms
    Chasing shadows and stardust in the endless night
    In the labyrinth of darkness where there is no escape

    The melodies of weeping memories cast a spell over me
    They bound me with chains made of sorrow and regret
    I descend into the abyss of the ocean of nightmares
    Being a captive in a dungeon of insanity and chimaeras

    Becoming an enchanting mermaid in this ocean of wonders
    I wander through the vast chasm of a submerged realm
    Where I can admire all kinds of creatures and oddities
    Dancing with gloomy ghouls and shadows of ancient mysteries

    The impetuous current carries me to unknown worlds
    And I float light and unconcerned
    Swaying with the rhythm of invisible tides
    Embracing the dangerous mystery of every silent wave

    Unaware of my future fate, I welcome the enigma
    Dragging my aching heart wherever I go
    Chained to this sunken realm, visible only to my sight
    Lost under the influence of tumultuous tides

    I surrender to the bewitching call of the abyss
    Hovering between fragments of withered dreams
    Carried by waves that sing forgotten legends
    The sirens’ whispers lure me into eternal doom
    Where I dwell forever, embraced by the midnight tide.
    Elisabetta

  • Crying To Death

    Crying To Death

    Crying to death until I lose all my fears
    Crying to death until my heart bleeds the last drop of grief
    I don’t remember my name anymore
    I come from a faraway realm where dreams are forbidden
    I wander astray in the labyrinth of my bleeding heart

    Not anymore comforted by solace and delight
    I strive to find refuge in my secret realm of illusions
    Because I love to lie to myself with shameless boldness
    Because I love to fill my heart with deception

    I’m untamed and wild, and I don’t bow to any convention
    It’s impossible to fit my soul inside a box of comfort
    Too many thoughts crowd my mind
    Too many emotions crowd my heart
    I’m a paroxysm, a burst of madness wrapped in the quietness of my sorrow

    I love to wear exclusively beautiful vintage-style dresses and ballerinas
    I love to wear red lipstick and red nail polish
    I never cut my long blond hair because they keep my little secrets for years discretely
    I love books but sometimes I keep them closed as if I would like to guess what is going to happen next in the story

    I mainly write night and day and I cannot see myself not writing even a day
    That would be like asking me not to breathe
    I suffer in silence when I am home alone so nobody can discover it
    I never plan what I’m going to write because I believe in improvisation in poetry
    I love cloudy skies but not the rain because it makes me feel miserable

    I love to be in love but I also love to be loved and adored
    Solitude and books are my best companions, indeed the only ones
    I adore art in all its forms, music, literature and art
    Sometimes I prefer to write in a direct way and simple style without labyrinths of metaphors

    Crying to death is a way to express myself when I’m suffering unbearably
    And when I don’t feel understood and seen by the other creatures of this planet or when memories come to visit me
    After all, we suffer mainly because of indifference or tainted interactions with other entities or because of something we don’t want to remember

    I feel like an alien creature not belonging to standard society and as an introvert it’s very difficult being part of this messed ocean where I never felt comfortable. So bizarre and odd I’m in the other’s sight that I cannot blend with them.
    Therefore, I dwell in my loneliness where I have built my castle of dreams.
    Elisabetta

  • The Garden Of Despair

    The Garden Of Despair

    The garden of despair was the realm of my heart
    Where not a single day would have passed without a cry, a sob, and a sigh
    Flowers would bloom every time a year of despair would moisten their petals
    And a ghoul would appear in its ethereal appearance

    So, I relied on this wonderful and fantastic alcove
    To release all my phantoms of the past and all my fears of the future
    I was wandering among the tall flowers with their huge thorns
    Thorns that oftentimes would pierce my heart

    Hence, my heart bled and made crimson every flower of the garden of despair
    Whilst the absolute silence surrounded me
    As there was absolutely no way to hear the celestial voices of the stars
    In a moonless and raven sky made of obsidian gems

    Encircled by the shadows of the night
    I followed the cold wind of solitude
    To discover my true essence and hidden treasures
    Teardrops of sorrow stroke my face enlightening me with their glow

    I had no direction to follow or a place to dwell
    I felt confused and astonished at the same time
    Because I couldn’t believe I was living in a surreal world
    Where there was no reality but only absurdities

    An intangible refuge adrift in nowhere was my new home
    A sanctuary where emptiness was celebrated
    And castles were made of illusion and deception
    Where forsaken dreams lingered among the clouds

    Every thought of mine vanished and I couldn’t remember anything
    As I became invisible and ephemeral like a tiny snowflake
    And I didn’t exist anymore because my body faded as I’d never lived before
    Crossing veils of mist and glooms that dissolved at my touch

    I fell into the dungeon of the abyss of my mind
    The garden of despair created by my own imagination
    A realm of intangible melancholy and decadence
    A world doomed never to exist.
    Elisabetta

  • The Labyrinth Of Mirrors

    The Labyrinth Of Mirrors

    The labyrinth of mirrors waited for me to get lost
    Each mirror reflected a buried version of myself
    Each mirror reflected a buried memory of mine
    Although I was unconscious in my slumber
    I did know what was awaiting me

    So, I faced the consequences of watching my past
    In thousands and thousands of fragments of time
    Fragments that no longer belonged to me
    Nevertheless, they were there in front of me
    To show me that I could never flee from myself

    In this fictional world, time didn’t exist anymore
    And everything seemed frozen and immovable
    It appeared that each mirror whispered a silent agony
    No reflecting my image but only a memento of my life
    Remembrances clasping me with their powerful claws

    The labyrinth of mirrors transformed into a silent gelid garden
    Where no flower could ever have grown
    So extreme was the intemperate temper of the night’s darkness
    Whose blizzard struck me with its cynicism
    Depriving me of all my dreams

    Lingering in this dwelling of anguish and regret
    Astonished by the gleaming reflections of the sleek glass surfaces
    I gasped at the sight of gloomy shadows emerging from the mirrors
    Indeed, they were my memories transformed into ghostly clouds
    Starring at my soul while I was surrounded by ethereal hallucinations

    Every sob of mine carved a message onto my body
    So overwhelmed was I by countless emotions
    The teardrops descended on my face
    Weaving a sumptuous dress around me
    I was dressed in water and air

    The labyrinth of mirrors turned into a park of water and grass
    Where the flowers were made of crystal and tears
    Visions and fantasies wandered freely like butterflies
    Flying from one flower to another one
    Stroking my hair as softly as a whispered untruth

    The ghosts of my past vanished into the emptiness
    And I realized I would never wake from that illusion
    For I had become a part of it forever.
    Elisabetta

  • Shadows Over Me

    Shadows Over Me

    Shadows over me constantly
    Hunting me like terrifying ghouls
    Frightening me to the bones
    With their obsession

    I decided to abandon myself to the sense of defeat
    A defeat due to my cruel fate of being invisible and negligible
    Like a little sparkle of light destined to its descent into the abyss of darkness
    And so, that was me

    I wish extraordinary phantasmagorias would visit me in my dreams
    But even that was impossible
    So much was the misery of my realm of existence
    Being a negligible creature destined to the cold wind of indifference

    Even the possibility of falling in love with a chimaera and an illusion of mine was a failure
    Destined to ominous omens
    While the rays of the pale moonlight stroke my hair
    I descended again into an eternal and deadly slumber

    I couldn’t see anything but a total obscurity
    I couldn’t hear but an absolute silence
    Dim and dreadful shadows descended over me
    And I couldn’t react or move in this ocean of emptiness

    Defeated again and again by a sense of tragic frailty
    I became a shadow myself
    A shadow bound to a world of lies and deception
    With the inability to flee away
    Being hushed up in an abyss of oblivion

    Being forsaken and abandoned to loneliness
    I only found comfort in the numbness and lack of emotions
    After striving to scream
    I faded away like invisible stardust

    Shadows over me grasped my heart to tear it apart
    Feeling a fractured crystal in the inside
    I couldn’t feel any pang or fear because I was myself anguish and dread
    I became a ghost lingering in the world of death and darkness

    Ethereal as I was, I wandered like a frightful spirit of the night
    Chasing every spark of light I could seize, in vain
    For I was doomed to the realm of darkness and oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • The Chains Of The Past

    The Chains Of The Past

    The chains of the past captivated me
    Placing me down on the cold soil of the garden of tears
    A place where no hope or wish was granted
    A dungeon of anguish and dismay that became my eternal realm

    An initiation ritual pierced my heart and made it bleed
    My blood nourished the flowers of betrayal and deception
    until they drained me of all strength
    Leaving me fainting on the cold soil among thorns and sharp stones

    Suddenly I felt that all my fears left my heart
    And I became the representation of numbness and apathy
    My body was as bloodless as an inanimate pebble
    Silent like a grave and dark as the night

    My soul parted whispering a farewell
    My heart was pale as ashes
    Every spark of curiosity and liveliness faded away
    Leaving me entombed in a deep slumber from which I would never awaken

    The chains of the past were a noose around my neck
    Drops of poison were falling on my face from the fountain of oblivion
    Longings and regrets entwined a chain of tears and blood around my heart
    A stupor was in my mind and weakness overwhelmed me

    My memories from the past became my hunting nightmares
    I couldn’t escape from them and hence I was lying helpless in the cold soil of the garden of death
    All I could hear were soft sighs and cries of despair
    Underneath the immense darkness of the night sky

    A curtain of haze blurred my blank gaze
    As the wind wove moans into shadows
    No dawn would ever find my eternal dusk
    No voice would unsettle my spectral silence

    Unable to find my way out of misery and sorrow
    I descended into the deepest abyss of darkness
    Becoming an unknown wraith in this garden of death
    Where even time had turned to dust
    And then only echoes of forsaken laments remained.
    Elisabetta

  • Soft Daggers Of Dismay

    Soft Daggers Of Dismay

    Soft daggers of dismay pierced my heart
    While I was helpless in my slumber
    Like a magic spell enticing me with its sweet melancholy
    I abided to embrace resignation as a matter of reality

    Burning flames destroyed all my words
    And the only thing that remained was silence
    And absolute silence in the darkness of the night
    While the cold wind of indifference pinned me like a butterfly in a cloud

    Many thoughts and memories made me realise that I was raving over nothing
    Because nothing really mattered but my distorted idea of reality
    Leading me astray in a garden of thorns and hollow trees
    Where I found my inner leisure and despondency

    The pluralism of my essence overwhelmed me
    It was like to be conscious of a fragmentation of the soul
    Concealing myself behind the fountain of unknown
    I embraced my fate as an undefined creature of the ethereal world of fantasies

    Soft daggers of dismay pierced my heart
    Making it bleed into a garden of crimson flowers
    Where the alluring scent bewildered my senses
    Leading the way at the edge of an abysm
    A chasm of devastation and death

    Crying and screaming
    I remained at the bottom of a gorge
    My teardrops formed an impetuous river that swept me away
    Until I found myself senseless and confused
    As I was reborn in a new life

    The soft daggers of my dismay turned into thorns surrounding my heart
    The sweetness of this pang made me feel a flower rooted in a forest of nightmares
    Where the faded sound of cries echoed in the nocturnal landscape
    Exhaustion overcame me

    Writing my feelings in ink forged from tears and blood
    I carved every single letter on a parchment of memories
    Remembrances emerged like ghosts lingering around me
    Striving to choke me with their pointed fingers
    While I fell into a profound slumber
    To never wake up and face the reality

    Hence I lay in a garden of crimson flowers
    Where nonsense was the only decree
    And phantasmagoria was the only truth
    While the whispers of the abyss lulled me into a forever oblivion.
    Elisabetta

© Esther Racah 2025. All rights reserved.