Waiting for my dreams to wither like dry flowers
Constantly sinking into the oblivion of sadness and dizziness
Unaware of what could happen to my soul
Having lost every hope to save my dreams
Finding my sweet haven in my darkest grief
Slowly avoiding thinking and surrendering to the course of my vicious fate
I let the ocean waves swallow me into the chasms of unconsciousness
To avoid seeing the reflection of my memories in mirrors of shady dismay
The silence of the night lulled me to a deep slumber where I finally could feel peace and gaiety
My idle heart became a frozen stone full of sand and dust
Whilst I wandered in the desolate forest of my fears
Waiting for my dreams to be my only consolation
For I was aware of the evanescence of the stars gleaming in the night sky
Indeed, every single anguish of mine became a tiny leaf that the cold breeze lifted away from my gaze
So quickly was flowing my existence like a tumultuous river that I lost the sense of time
And I remained therefore languid in a garden without flowers or trees
A garden of darkness and shadows where no mortal could find me
My foremost hideaway in which I could flee the hideous threats from the world of reality
I didn’t pay attention to the consequences of my enchanted illusions
Dread and cynicism accompanied me at every step as unwelcome and unavoidable guests
Secrets were locked within me and only nonsense was guiding me in the eternal gloom of my seclusion
In vain I strove to reach out to the moonlight
Nevertheless, I had been cast away too far
Surrounded by nothing but loneliness and bleakness
I was left crying tears made of madness and turmoil.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: night
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Waiting For My Dreams
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Castaway’s Desires
Castaway’s desires enticed me in the long winter nights, when the frozen branches of hollow trees caressed me softly, as they needed to approach my body.
The scent of burning candles devoured my enthusiasm and reminded me only of my hopeless misery. An everlasting burning desire strove to swallow my heart greedily like an invisible demon.
My insensitive inertia shattered my soul into pieces and I let the devastation take advantage of me. I was born to dissolve and to perish an infinite number of times in endless ways.
Frenzy and turmoil were my loyal guides like flaming torches in the deepest darkness, and they offered me their improper wisdom. I felt alive only because I embodied the distress that consumed me, leaving me in flames.
Indeed, it was true that scorching passion sometimes might have let me fall in love with things that destroyed, and that was what penetrated every part of me.
I was made of fire and glaze surrounded by the cold mist of my dark chamber where dimly lit candles were my only merriment.
The sweet screams of the night recalled to me who I really was. Obsession carved my vein instilling a tainted poison instead of blood. I became a creature of the realm of shadows and wraiths.
I was consumed by my own fantasies and foolish hallucinations. I had become the queen of frenzy among my lost memories of worlds which I once belonged to.
No mortal entity could see me because I was visible only to creatures of my own. There was no transformation in my staticity.
I could perceive the manifestation of my own tempest, like a tiny vessel in a stormy sea. Lost in the labyrinth of my dreams and dread, I was unable to discover the existence beyond time.
The great mystery of seeking my reflection in the immense mirror of life made me realise my nothingness. There was no end and there was no beginning but merely a vague silence clinging to me like luscious ivy.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Spell Of The Blank Mirror
The spell of the blank mirror; an invisible chain to a realm that drew me into its clutches. I had recited their arcane enchantment each night while my eyes were hidden by an ephemeral black veil and my lips were crimson from the nectar of my roses. I listened to their hypnotic spell, alluring like a siren song. Even though my eyes were closed, I could see everything and beyond every kind of imagination.
I had achieved new perceptions, unknown among ordinary mortals. I could see a new realm invisible to humans where my heart was copiously bleeding my soul over a garden of black roses, which were avid for my essence seeking to sip until the very last drop. A sequence of visions took me away from reality. I wasn’t alive anymore, but I wasn’t lifeless either. I had vowed loyalty to the sacred order of magic.
I could not abide what my own senses had forced me to witness. I saw ghouls feeding their ego with the shallow souls of imbecilic beings. The more I tried to understand myself, the more I felt that the emptiness inside me swallowed me. And the everlasting fire that sustained my heart alive transformed into an abyss of vengeance and fury. I became the night and the night became myself.
I embraced my descent to the realm of Hades as the most exquisite triumph of my tragic existence. I could taste the poison of the spell of the blank mirror; a tangible proof of my occult sensitivity in perceiving things invisible to human sight. Accompanied by ravens and ghastly vaults, I metamorphosed into an ethereal creature, who no mortal could defeat. I became sacred to the vicious ghouls of the darkness; they carved their arcane symbols into my heart and soul, soaking my heart with their eternal essence.
I had become infinite and eternal. I had surpassed the stars of which I had now become the only sovereign. I had become the night and the darkness. I had become an ethereal creature, detached from the corrupted world of the mortals. Lightning and thunder celebrated me as the dark queen of the eternal night. I retained all the glimmering light of the luminaries, and I veiled the moon with a velvet shroud made of lace and silk. I didn’t want any light or fire shine in this realm of perpetual nightfall.
My endearing devils whispered arcane revelations, stroking me with delicate black roses, whose scent of night unfolded in resins and shadowed petals, drifting like smoke through the galleries of my secret and mysterious realm. I indulged in euphoria and dismay, now that my heart had become a holy crypt full of scorn and vengeance. My incubuses and nightmares paid me tributes and praises. All my suffering scars have become hieroglyphics, sigils, pentacles, hexagrams, runes, and obscure seals, etched in dark ink and shadow.
The spell of the blank mirror vanished like a faint sob in the midst of an impetuous hurricane; it accomplished its mission of initiation and metamorphosis through which I went, leaving me inscribed with the silent glyphs of the unseen, marked by the sigils of shadowy forces, and bound to the eternal drafts of occult supremacy. Crowned and powerful, I sipped a magic elixir from a chalice wrought of relics and raven feathers, and I tasted the obscure bliss of nightmares and granted elation.
I had disappeared and been reborn as the night and darkness. Every whisper I uttered became a decree for my loyal ghosts, and the scales of justice had finally been weighed in my favour. Fairness had been accomplished in my favour, at the threshold of the Nether Thresholds. And I feasted and reigned with my consecrated coven of beloved witches and phantoms, bound to me evermore.
Elisabetta Esther -
Among Heartbeats And Sighs
Among heartbeats and sighs, I passed my long summer nights, while dew from the flowers fell on my skin. Purity and passion blended, enticing me to the garden of the forbidden desires.
The wind carried the exquisite poison of night flowers to my lips, awakening my body. I was mesmerised and enchanted with the phantom beauty of my own descent.
I dreamed of marvellous roses sumptuously evoking delight and bliss. I grabbed and bit the fruits of frenzy and turmoil ready to satisfy my desire.
Desire and covetousness were my startling cravings, which made my heart beat again and again like a source of power. I was dominated by my passions that monopolised all my attention.
I fell into the trap of my mistakes and cried out all my pangs as if my teardrops could have erased all that dismay. I kept a multitude of longings in my secret treasure chest, which I sealed with tears and trepidation.
A gloomy cloud of fear and disillusion enveloped me threateningly, deterring me from staring at the luminaries shining bright in the dark blue firmament.
I was conquered like prey by wicked impulses, which were conducting me to the brink of uproar. I couldn’t find peace anymore in my slumber since evil nightmares were keeping me eternally awake.
Demise would have been the portal of my liberation, and instead, I was playing with ghosts and magical roses. I didn’t want to accept the truth, I desired to pretend that everything was perfectly terrible.
The silver moon gleamed upon me pouring its ethereal light over my garden of woe and sorrow. And among heartbeats and sighs, I remained silent and listened to the whispers of the nocturnal breeze.
I could scent the taste of toxic magic on my red lips. I felt a burden in my chest burning like an everlasting flame. I wished fervently to be a free butterfly, flying over enchanted flowers. I wished intensely to be a free bird, soaring high amidst clouds and stars.
A spell was cast over me, binding my heart to invisible phantoms. Desires had ensnared me in their vicious frolic, melting my heart into a lake of fire and ice. Therefore, I became a creature of that realm of shadows and darkness.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Night
The night opens my heart, made of tragedies and memories. Silence remains merely an echo of my anguish.
Sweet is the thought of losing oneself in dreams when they become eternal whispers. The subtle play of revelations and allusions is a gentle kiss of love and passion that time does not disturb.
Light and shadow merge into one another, in an absolute love. The flames of the heart feed on the solitude of the soul beneath the starlight that no longer shines to illuminate, but to recall lost memories.
Endless games between illusion and wonder hide in the darkness of light. My sorrowful and shadowed heart has fallen into the chaos of eternal torpor.
I am a volcano of fire and chaos, surrounded by shadows of anguish and restlessness. My guardians are magical crows and silent hares.
In my solitude, melancholy and confusion are my faithful spectres that never abandon me.
Drowsy and dazed, I find refuge in my silent torpor: the distorted mirrors are the signs of my resignation.
Elisabetta Esther -
Dreams And Chimaeras
Dreams and chimaeras make me forget my worries and anguish.
Surrounded by memories, broken mirrors, and interrupted cries.
I lie languid like a flower stunned by the morning dew.Silence is a sweet melody that distracts me when I no longer understand where life is leading me.
And in the night I hear the sound of loneliness like a sudden omen of abandonment and defeat.The darkness paints imaginary landscapes in my mind.
The sound of the clouds reminds me to forget my name and hang my soul upon the shadows to rest.
Leaden nightmares drag me down into the abyss of despair.Far away I can hear the screams of my fears calling out my name.
So I take the chance to follow their trail in the obsidian forest.
Where I try to find my image in mirrors that whisper to me.Murmurs of pain and betrayal appear to me as shapes of magic bliss.
In my madness, I exist as a free bird of the night.
Closed doors become gates to infinity.
Forever bound to my lack of reality.I live in the surreal chasm to which I will always belong.
Abysm and love blend like mysterious revelations.
They own my heart and my soul eternally.Imagination guides me toward the garden of illusions.
I become the most delusional creature of the realm of shadows.
Love caresses me as gently as a sharp snowflake.My heart is in an everlasting pang.
Foolishness possesses me, as I advance in my wisdom.
What I thought would have destroyed me gave me a spark of demise.I was lost and I was alive at the same time.
As an inanimate doll with a burning heart.
The nothingness stared at me in its boundless ferocity.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Emptiness Within My Mind
The emptiness within my mind
Is death inside my heart,
With no golden cage, no precious gems—
just silence folding round itself,
no escape, no hope,
Only absence holding tight.Exhausted and devoid of feeling,
I lay upon the cold earth,
strewn with withered leaves,
fallen flowers,
and shards of abandoned dreams.Weeping,
I heard the intense sound
of my tears falling
on leaves shriveled
by the cold wind of night.Nothing remained
around you,
around me,
But only the vague memory
of those anguishes
that oppressed me
and never ceased
to pursue me.I no longer held
any desire to desire,
nor to keep
anything within my heart.My heart had ceased
to be a chest
of my wishes and whims.It was merely
an empty chest,
emptied by the fury
and storms
that swept over me
In my wretched existence.Not even the stars
sparkled in the sky
above my dwelling.The heavens refused
to shine for me.Yet they had forsaken me
to my fate,
where no hope remained,
nor even a small flame
to bring me back to life.Whispers and murmurs
came to me
In the form of a misty breeze,
laden with elegies
and funeral hymns.Despair and anguish
were gifts bestowed upon me,
like dazzling joys
that in truth did not shine at all,
But bound me fast
In a realm of cruelty,
wickedness,
and mercilessness.Helpless and fragile,
like the petals of a well-bloomed flower,
I could not withstand
such impetuousness and violence of events,
so hostile to me—
like endless storms at sea
whose fury knows no end.The emptiness within my mind
had become a spirit that subdued me,
against which I could no longer resist.
At last, I became part
of the abyss of oblivion,
And there I remained for eternity,
wandering like a cloud
In a stormy, winter night.
Elisabetta -
My Illusions
My illusions concealed the bright stars and the moon. I was sure that I couldn’t rely totally on my perceptions and conceptions of life and dreams. I didn’t know anything, but the only thing I could do was cry in my loneliness on a long night when no stars and no moon were visible to my eyes. All my memories were hanging in my mind like paintings. They were like thunders during a night storm in the ocean whose foundation was made of nightmares and suspiciousness.
Beneath the shadows of hollow trees, I found my dwelling to rest free from the clouds of anxiety and distress. No glooms of sadness could prevent me from looking at the night sky. Maybe it was just a dream, but I couldn’t avoid staring at the dark and starless firmament. I dared to question my senses, but all that I could obtain was confusion and dizziness. In a realm where everything seemed absurd, odd, and meaningless, I strove to find a sense in my ephemeral existence.
I had ceased to comprehend what was truth and what was deception. The night with its frightful shadows and wraiths, became my loyal companion, so sweet and lovely. No one could ever separate us, not even for an instant. The magic wisdom of the gift of madness was so sublime and exquisite. Unique was the foolishness of my silent heart. Invisible and abandoned in the quest for my fate, I explored labyrinths and mangroves in the wilderness of my imagination.
My illusions deceived me repetitively, as I attempted to sugarcoat my lonely desolation, deprived as I was of every solace and comfort. I saw the dirty squalor being put on the sacred altar of devotion and veneration. Mortal souls preferred profanities and obscenities to sublimity, beauty and virtue. The world of mortals was shamefully collapsing in front of my eyes and I preferred to shut myself down in my boundless dungeon of illusions, nightmares, dreams and hallucinations. To never be back to that false and tainted world.
Elisabetta -
Gilded Illusions
Gilded illusions visited my dreams
In the eternal night that enveloped me like a diaphanous veil
I lingered far from every mortal sight
In my dwelling made of stars and dreamsThe moon was bleeding silver onto withered blossoms
And I was a phantom wandering through chambers carved from bone
Among candles that wept in crystal flocks
While silence deepened in this dark dungeon of memoriesEerie whispers of the dead rose from broken mirrors
From each cracked and gloomy surface emerged a spirit of the past
Their hearts were cold and hollow for their ancient dismay
And their anguish echoed until the stars of the night firmamentWhenever I aimed to reach for the stars
They disappeared into the emptiness
Leaving me alone in my despair and decay
While the striking of time split the silence like a bladeNo hesitation could help me to reacquire my wisdom
I knew that I had lost my freedom to embrace a life of madness and turmoil
Nothing could have altered this realm of death and decadence
Every divine bliss was destroyed by my fateI belonged to the realm of dust and decay
I was reduced to following the darkness
The more I wept, the tighter drew the chains of my bondage
All my gilded illusions faded away in the voidSurrounded by the hollowness of dilapidated sarcophagi
I heard lullabies of sorrow that hovered like ghouls
Shadows long departed from the realm of life
They waited to converge on the abyss of the underworldMy chains transformed into silver and gold serpents
They became my guardians in this surreal world ruled by illusion and deception
Crowded by hissing ghosts and perpetual twilight
And in this sublime dejection, I found my refuge.
Elisabetta -
Endless Despair
Endless despair gripped my heart
Piercing it with swords and daggers
Fracturing the path I was walking
Each step was a struggle against the poundage of my grief and sorrowThe sky above me was now a dark and endless void
Where the sun had long since surrendered its passion
Leaving only the cold embrace of night
A reminder of obliteration and demiseShattered fragments of dreams clung to my soul
Their edges were sharp and slashed my heart
Memories of bliss dissolved like smoke
Vanishing before I could hold themI reached for something but nothing remained
Indeed, my hands met only the emptiness
A nothingness that mocked every effort of mine
A silence that devoured my voiceIn the depths of this abyss
I wondered if escape was even possible
But I became aware that I was doomed to wander this desolation endlessly
Forever lost and eternally brokenEndless despair destroyed my heart
Crushing it to ashes that the wind scattered into the emptiness
I sought solace in oblivion’s embrace
A cold grip that seemed to release meEach moment of stillness only exacerbated my misery
Since even the quietness was full of screams and outcries
No glimmer of light teased the edges of my sight
Every beauty and hope vanished as quickly as it appeared in my imaginationI was left with nothing but a bitter taste of what I could never acquire
The hours crawled like chains across my heart
Each tick was a reminder of all I could never reclaim
The past and the future were both my dungeons of distressI remained trapped in a perpetual desperation
I felt myself dissolving into the night
As the ghouls of this realm were obliterating what little remained of me
And I became nothingA sigh lost to the wind
I didn’t know what I was anymore
I felt forgotten and my spirit was broken
Relinquished among the shadows of the dead.
Elisabetta