Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: strength

  • Softly In Silence

    Softly In Silence

    Softly in silence, I lie to hide all the deception and lies from my naive heart
    I had to endure an existence of deceit and coercion
    Like a nightmare ghoul oppressing my pale slumber
    In an eternal night of haunting memories and wail

    I had constantly desired to be cherished and loved in vain
    I would have rather been remembered for my art than for my beauty
    So I preferred to hide behind my shield of silence and vanish into the ephemeral aether
    Like the mystic smoke from a burning flame

    Alas, in this silence, I remained quietly still like a crystal gem
    I was a withered bloom in a winter’s storm
    Unseen, unloved, forgotten
    Cradled in the embrace of the darkness

    I did not live for the sake of grace but for the grief
    Each heartbeat was woven in the dimness
    I was but a ghost wishing only to be mourned before bleeding my heart out
    Exanimate, I was sinking into a chaotic ecstasy of sorrow

    The eternal night cherished all my forbidden secrets
    Since I was forever bound to the dim dusk
    And every instant was midnight only for me
    Because I had obliterated time permanently

    I was born just as a punishment by the hands of my wicked fate
    Even the gleaming stars of the midnight sky had no mercy
    They stared at me indifferently as if my existence was just a futility
    I had lost every privilege to dream

    Just for a moment, I strived to change my fortune
    But I had no more strength to continue to exist
    All that I could do was stare at the walls of my dark chamber and fantasise
    I let the realm of dreams and absurdities swallow me

    I had to say goodbyes to the reality and normality
    I became a creature of a world of folly and oddities
    Only frenzies raptured my heart violently, and I let them in
    Softly in silence, I fell into the abyss of my own affliction.
    Elisabetta

  • Random Thoughts

    Random Thoughts

    Random thoughts and memories hit me like thunders
    And my fears grasp me with their claws
    Feeling dizzy and unconscious
    I cannot control my descent into doom and decay

    More confused than ever
    I try to understand the unreasonable reasons of the fate
    Disappointments and merriments entwine in my heart
    And I can only cry and scream at the sky
    Where the stars and moon seem careless to my pains

    My future destiny is obscure and uncertain
    The unknown is my senseless fate
    Rage and regret take me to their dungeon
    Striving to forget my past is not my strength

    Words flow in my mind as well as emotions flow inside my heart
    Truth and lies are fused together, and reality becomes just an illusion
    Illusions and dreams became my reality
    Where I can have a safe haven all for me

    Walking alone in the darkness among strangers
    I feel like I am not really human but a creature belonging to another realm
    A realm of fantasy and chimaeras where everything is beautiful and sublime
    And no fear is necessary to survive

    Having always felt like an outsider and a weird person all my lifelong
    I always preferred to stay in silence and avoid too much noise
    I never loved social gatherings with self-introductions and explanations
    I’ve never felt understood or seen inside as I really am

    Hiding in the dark shadows of the night has been my best choice
    Hiding from everyone and everything
    A nocturnal creature as I am
    I love concealing myself
    Fleeting into the realm of phantasmagoria

    I am made of whispers and delusions
    I am made of strength and weakness
    I am made of love and hate
    I am made of stardust and dust of decay

    Random thoughts chase me everywhere I go
    They hunt me fiercely and I cannot flee from them
    Stars seem to fall over me
    Hitting and piercing my heart.
    Elisabetta

  • I Forgot How To Smile

    I Forgot How To Smile

    I forgot how to smile
    In this world of pain and disguise
    Masks and phantoms are all around
    Barely pretending to unleash the truth
    When mirrors reflect sparkling golden and silver bonds

    I forgot how to be free
    Not falling into beautified traps with magnificent ceilings
    Listening to the real sound of the wind
    Whenever I breathe the fresh air of solitude
    Dizzy and bewildered in a maze of deception and pitfalls

    I forgot how to fly
    And cover my eyes with the leaves of souvenirs
    Forgetting my name and the soil where I walk on
    Nonsense should be my wisdom
    Until I recognise the beauty of invisibility

    Claustrophobic fears deceive me
    Erasing all the strength I own
    Striving to filter the misery in the lake where I drown
    Silently closing my eyes so that I don’t cry anymore
    Choking in a narrow way where I forgot how to scream

    In the ethereal, unending, and eternal quest
    I seclude myself in the abyss of silence and invisibility
    Unconscious and reckless like a crystal in the deepness of the sea
    No shadows or mirrors are my acquaintances
    With no difference between the day and night

    I forgot how to forget
    Whilst fleeting the shallow castles of idiocy and phenomenon
    Waiting for the paper cards to fold and burn in the fire of fairness
    Once more and forever ignoring the ominous dread of depravity
    Standing like a small leaf falling on the cold soil of the oblivion

    I might have forgotten the slumber of my joyful days
    When I lived in the unconsciousness of my thoughts
    Confident that my soul would be delighted forever in the dimness of the betrayal
    Believing that the toxic clasp of doom would have enlightened my life
    Having become captive to a terrible spectre

    I forgot how to smile with a blank mind and closed eyes
    I might have been able to travel far away
    Once and for all, in the idiosyncratic of my imagination
    Deluding myself in glares and wonders
    When after all, I dwell in a dark hollow, I claim to be my fortress.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A frail and lonely dismay of the night
    Tinged like a tiny soul of light
    At the edges of the universe
    Waiting for its memorable sight
    Standing alone in a silent deadlock
    The heart that seems so close to being so sad
    There is no way more and our lives and joy
    Never begin what is about never to die
    Love is created as an eternal wisdom

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In silent long-moving years
    Made of pains that cannot be revealed
    Would it be a dream to lose?
    A utopia that the world has never known
    I had looked back in stillness
    The quietness of some tree
    Where all the dreams abound
    And idyll will never cease to succumb
    To the grief and solitude

    A frail and lonely dismay
    I’ll never know who I was
    But only the sadness I feel
    And where are my vestiges
    To be hurled away in the cold blast
    Again and nevermore
    A sudden fear reappears
    Bleeding tears are far as memories
    And now I do not need anymore
    No doubt, once happiness got lost.

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In life, a defeat will never be new
    But I still live embracing habits
    Until love might give strength to convey
    Life comes today in time
    And everything must fade away
    Sweet songs of hope and dismay
    Everything pierces a feeble heart
    Being another daytime like another year

    A frail and lonely dismay
    It should be a phantom
    Descending in the fleeting night
    Twixt its own soul’s delight
    It might drive me too fierce
    As well as it may appear
    Afar
    Like in a vision
    Before it fades again
    Whenever life is at peace with the truth
    So, no longer there would be an end
    As long as every dash would be gone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Red Windflower In The Snow

    A Red Windflower In The Snow

    A Red Windflower In The Snow

    When difficulties gather around me
    I discover my strength in my fragility
    Like a tiny red windflower growing in the snow
    Disenchantment is my beauty mark
    And shyness is my devoted shield
    Invisibility is my enchanting realm
    I hide in the meadow of the silent words
    Which bloom like flowers on a quiet starry night
    My unconsciousness grant me an illusionary joy
    I love to lie to myself, becoming a fool
    It is challenging to look in the mirror of truth
    Because the disenchantment would transfigure my soul
    And so I pretend that I don’t have anything to worry about
    I laugh and dream about being away
    In a metaphysical place
    And I stop to think because thinking is corruption
    I wonder how it is possible to remain in a blissful stillness
    Relishing the silly perfection of a life without the capability of thinking
    Then there wouldn’t be anything that would deserve so much attention and devotion
    My anxiety and grief would become mere memories of a decadent existence
    And I would strive to survive like a tiny red windflower in the snow.
    Esther Racah

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