Tag: struggle

  • The Ninth Seal

    The Ninth Seal

    The ninth seal
    Because the hour was nine. Or almost.
    Paris wept softly blue through cobblestones and gaslight.
    A monster came,
    not with claws nor teeth,
    But with wheels,
    A chained demon in place of horses,
    and the roar of hatred and madness disguised as an engine.

    He saw me.
    He chose me.
    He had determined that I had to die by his shameful hand
    The madman with the skull face,
    The carriage forged in a nightmare,
    drunk on fury,
    under a wicked spell,
    his infernal claws trembling not from fear —
    But from the thrill of ending me.

    And I,
    Just a girl in a pale embroidered dress,
    Crowned with strands of gold and unarmed,
    But not unguarded.

    For something stopped him.
    Something unseen.
    A force older than rot,
    stronger than rage,
    woven from secret whispers and gold light
    spilt from my angelic protector gaze.

    The wheels screamed.
    The demons reared.
    And time stopped to exist
    As the carriage froze inches from my heart.

    Behind me,
    two hags —
    with teeth like monuments and gums raw as hunger,
    bald as ancient ruins,
    laughed as if grace were weakness
    and survival, shame.

    Their laughter didn’t touch me.
    I walked on,
    not broken.
    Not bowed.
    My feet were flame and precious gemstones.

    I passed through death
    I passed through judgment
    as one who had died before —
    and been reborn
    With mirrors behind her eyes
    and dustless bones.

    No prayer was spoken.
    No sword was drawn.
    But a pact was sealed in starlight and crystal blaze.

    And so I say:

    Nine are the circles, nine the keys.
    I cloak myself in stone and destiny.
    He who looks sees nothing, he who listens hears no sound,
    But I stand guarded, armed with beauty,
    And no evil enters where nine times I have said yes.
    Elisabetta

  • Impaled By My Own Grief

    Impaled By My Own Grief

    Impaled by my own grief
    Like a butterfly pinned to a wall
    I was standing on the cold soil soaked by my own blood
    Among withered flowers infused with the scent of death
    Embracing my misery as it was a bliss for my weak heart

    Slowly unveiling the image behind the shadows hovering high
    I discovered the reflection of my true self in their shrouds
    I cried out loud, running out of tears of despair
    Dressed in the sparkling veil that the luminaries made for me
    And wearing a crown made of thorns and roses

    All the most terrible memories introduced themselves to me
    They appeared like dreadful ghouls and wraiths
    Stabbing me with their sharp daggers
    Reducing me to a relic
    In the presence of crows and dead trees

    I was an empty shell without reflection or shadow
    Whenever I was wondering, it seemed I didn’t leave any trace
    But only blood and thorns, a representation of my miserable existence
    What I was I knew not
    I became an enigma to myself

    I collapsed like a wax sculpture
    As I was an extinguished flame
    With a body stitched by bandages and shattered dreams
    Each thread was a reminder of the pangs carved all over my body
    And my heart was a crushed crystal

    The gleaming moonlight created an aura made of silver
    Spectres were floating over me
    While I was waiting for the stars to guide me
    But no sign was there for me
    Only the deepest darkness and squalid solitude

    The cruel fate had decreed my end with the worst despair of my soul
    All my cries were dispersed by the cold wind of a winter night
    Nothing more was there for me
    I had lost everything dear to me
    And a storm wrapped me in its deadly embrace

    Impaled by my own grief
    I was the embodiment of my own tragedy.
    Elisabetta

  • My Blank Pages

    My Blank Pages

    My blank pages of life and stories teach me to embrace the enigma of my fate
    Whenever I think about my future
    I can only see blank pages of a book still to be written
    With my patience and perseverance, I try to love the unknown

    I always change mood like a cloudy sky that lets the sun shine through the haze
    Sometimes I feel like a flower that has been sunburned in the summer months
    Oftentimes I feel like a leaf falling from its tree under the influence of an unpredictable wind
    Everything around me is a reflection of my true self

    I always avoid mirrors to not let them swallow my soul
    Indeed, I am a perpetual dreamer whose real image appears through rhymes and verses
    I will never know myself for I’m an infinite abyss of mysteries
    And I even don’t aspire to get all the knowledge of this universe

    Always metamorphosing into someone new
    I wait for the time that doesn’t matter anymore
    As I see my shadow disappear beneath the night sky
    Wandering and getting lost in the forest of doubts

    I don’t have certitudes and I don’t know how to embrace my future
    Sometimes I believe that I love instability
    Sometimes I think that I have a predilection for blank pages
    I’m a blank page waiting to be written

    Paroxysm of emotions is my way of expressing my true essence
    I’m made of dreams and illusions
    I suffer unbearably and I love being delusional
    A romantic is never a loser but an eternal source of magnificence

    I will never bow to power and oppression
    I’m a free spirit and like a wildflower, I love to catch a glimpse of the sky
    While the pouring raindrops fall all over me
    I wait for my dreams to come true and for my heart to be consumed by madness
    As a book with blank pages, my inner senses yearn to be filled with both bliss and decay.
    Elisabetta

  • The Gaze Of My Heart

    The Gaze Of My Heart

    The gaze of my heart follows passions
    Like a moth entranced by the moon’s wicked glow
    Hovering through the realms of fire and shadow
    Where longings bloom in silent anguish

    It ignores wisdom, and it doesn’t fear any abyss
    Drawn to forbidden dreams and extravagant art
    My heart gleams at the verge of madness
    And it sculpts sorrow into an artwork of dark

    Through secret passageways of velvet dusk
    Where dreams entwine with heartbreaking sighs
    The gaze of my heart will never falter
    Even when a desire bleeds and dies

    Striving to forget the bruises of love and devotion
    Still, my heart never ceases to beat
    Even amid the wildest storm of life
    It bleeds but rises from the ashes of sorrow

    My heart drifts through shadows, refusing to break
    Carrying the weight of memories yet still seeking passion
    Bound by the chains of the past, yearning only to fly
    My heart weeps beneath the moon, longing for release

    Nonetheless, the night holds me captive
    I became a prisoner of grief and anguish
    And each tear of mine is a dream lost in the cold and silent air
    As I seek consolation and solace that I cannot find

    I reach through the darkness, yearning to touch the stars
    But they gleam and vanish in the infinite sky
    While the night conceals its secrets, shrouded in despair
    Like the fleeting touch of a dream that never could become tangible

    A gelid breeze of illusions hits me
    Whispering me only cruel and fleeting promises
    Trying to chase them, I end up in the emptiness
    My endless pursuit is a vacant seizure

    My heart becomes a frail ship adrift in an ocean of delusions
    Trembling at each dark shadow towering over it like a giant wave
    I search for meaningful signs in the endless nights
    Although the stars don’t gleam anymore for me

    In this abyss of sorrow, I remain
    Finding no rest
    The gaze of my heart loses its sight
    And the echo of my distressed soul is suppressed for eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • The Invisible Cage

    The Invisible Cage

    The invisible cage was tight enough to trap every dream,
    Chains made of silence had bound sighs and hearts in an endless void of despair,
    Where hope was swallowed whole, and nothingness reigned.

    Having wandered through shadows, searching for hope,
    Each dream had been a reminder of an endless fight and failure.
    Darkness and light were trapped within the confines of an unseen embrace.

    A realm depleted of colour and lost without a trace,
    Whose walls were made of disquiet and the ceilings of doubt,
    Each teardrop had been a reminder of the dreams that screamed out.

    Yearned for freedom that dared just beyond,
    A flicker of hope had kept the spirit fond.
    The fences and chains were made of silence and fears deeply sown,
    And each thought became a reminder of how far distress and anguish had shown.

    The invisible cage was unseen but powerful,
    Had held the wandering spirits captive for far too long.
    Each day had felt like a ferocious struggle, and the nights had been long,
    Crushed beneath the weight of what seemed so unfair.

    Stares had looked to the sky where eagles had soared free,
    While the stars remained bound, longing to flee.
    In the abysm of the imagination, rebellion had ignited,
    Boldness had broken through what once was blighted.

    Desires had been filled with expectations beyond the realm of shadows,
    As the senses wandered through the endless dark.
    Each belief had turned to chains that dug deeper still,
    Like a well without water or a promise that would never be fulfilled.

    Though the cage had been hidden, its power had increased,
    Everything turned to dust like shattered crystals.
    In the garden of distress, the nightmares had bloomed and thrived,
    Sorrows were carved on each leaf and petal.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Solemn Silence

    A Solemn Silence

    A solemn silence in a terrific isolation
    An ocean of ice and fire
    An assembly of anguish and vanity
    Sadness and despondency
    Stars and clouds swirl at every blast of the winds
    Being encompassed in darkness
    A tumultuous remembrance leaves me
    listless and silent
    Now in the night
    And still
    I’ve lived a distant life
    Far from me
    When I was alone
    Where no one is so free
    Which might have changed
    Many times
    Years
    Too suddenly as well as never

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Where all around, my thoughts are bound
    Even if there is a sound
    Silent souls sink into a dim and sweet lake
    The sea waves advance like ancient mountains
    Calm and still lingering in the snow
    Many earthly ghouls float in the aether
    My potion of delirium and defeat
    In an incessant struggle with logic and treacherousness
    What could I be able to leave forever
    Wandering in the infinite dispersion of my emotions
    Getting lost and pretending to find myself
    One of the several versions

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Travelling and losing the path
    In a labyrinth of shattered mirrors and illusions
    Once the discovery is sparkling with dark hues
    I encounter the truth and dismay
    In the loss of beliefs and resolutions
    On a dark and still night
    When the only noise comes from the wind flying through the leaves
    At the dawn of a longly forgotten place
    The clouds seem suddenly collide and burn
    Through the depths of my heart
    A solitary sky had bled away
    In a thousand years of dread
    Amidst the frozen lights

    A solemn silence of the night
    It is like winter after dusk
    The past had gone far away
    All the seasons will blossom and die
    Before the sun hath gone
    At the end of time
    A dream of spiritual passions
    The secret of vanity
    The mystery of a dream
    Once lost forever
    In the immensity of the void
    When a distant wind blasts
    A new spring of every thought begins
    And a realm of starry glimmers
    Lighting the sunset sky
    Beneath the mountains’ stillness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Oscillations Of The Soul

    The Oscillations Of The Soul

    The Oscillations Of The Soul

    A jolt weakens the oscillations of the soul
    Every time a whisper echoes in the infinite ether
    For every shadow that appears in the world of illusions
    Wonder and amazement of the senses dance in infinity
    The swarthy flames of greed and lust are overwhelmed by a sense of grief
    The dark and silent grief destroyed every gold amulet
    A tumult descends upon every soul awakening from a deep slumber
    Lost shivers stagger ashore from the depths of the ocean of fears
    A chain made of glinting treasures creates a rope of desires
    Capturing the emptiness left behind a swirl of struggles
    Whilst eternal and elusive fates indulge in a hidden haul.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Silent Dream

    A Silent Dream

    A Silent Dream

    A silent dream turns to dust
    A strong illusion ascends the flame of memories
    A whisper suddenly shuts the surrounding emotions
    A cold mist touches a fragment of an instant
    A meaningless wish melts into a burning mystery
    The empty night appears as an unknown memory
    A blurred silence breaks the chain of a hidden consolation
    The contemplation of a shining shadow nestling a dreary destiny
    The time is entwined with a surreal blooming deception
    A lost light gently falters in the space
    An intangible wind let the envious struggles fall into the nothingness
    A desperate glow and a devoted tear tremble together
    The wondering cloud shines its unfortunate secret
    Whispered with an incredible sorrow in a dead eternity.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Agonies Of Minds

    The Agonies Of Minds

    The Agonies Of Minds

    The agonies of minds
    A desert of souls
    A dagger is breaking memories
    A flame melts endless dreams
    A struggle surrenders silent thoughts
    A devoted promise hesitates perpetually
    A hidden chain is nevermore holding shadows
    An imaginary touch stole emptiness in the unsteady nights
    An immaculate whisper radiates a bright glimmer
    An endless struggle falls into a vibrant dream
    A dreary nightmare flees to an unknown desire
    The mist devours every dazzling marvel
    A wavering murk veils the time
    A surreal world surrenders to the annihilation
    Whilst seeking hidden desires
    Spoils of a radiant instant
    An imaginary cloud encloses every unrevealed secret
    Seeking the distorted images beyond the emptiness
    Which is shrouded in the dazzle of untouched ideas.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • My Grief

    My Grief

    My Grief
    I lost my father in October 2019
    Having to cope with grief and loss is complicated
    Almost every day, I struggle with my anguishes
    Vulnerable as I am
    Encounters always took away a part of myself
    People never understood me
    Tears run down my face like sparkling gems
    Strange and mysterious they say about me
    Different could be a word that definitely defines me
    All the time, I faced dreadful beings
    Nothing can give me back what I have lost
    Death of a part of myself had been necessary
    I would have loved to fly away for an indefinite time
    How many times I had to suffer and be sad
    A lot of times, my grief fractured me
    Violence destroys everything day after day
    Exhausted, I built my sandcastles
    But I destroyed them afterwards
    Empathy is what they missed when dealing with me
    Eternal love does not exist since everything decays
    Nobody has ever loved me
    Reasons are impossible to understand
    And I can be sure that
    Perhaps I might rely on my dreams
    Exceedingly hurt emotionally and physically
    Disquietingly grief is all that is left in my heart.

    Esther Elizabeth Racah

© Esther Racah 2025. All rights reserved.