Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: torment

  • Leaving Myself Behind

    Leaving Myself Behind

    Leaving myself behind
    Through the pains and fears
    Anguish was my ruler
    And I didn’t demand anything
    Hurt was my soul made of pins and blood

    The roars of the demons claiming me echoed in my head
    The castle of doom was my pristine dwelling
    It was made of bones and ashes
    In the gloominess of the midnight

    I was fleeing from death to become decadence
    Leaving everything behind
    My past had crumbled to sand and memories
    Remembrances that followed me wherever I was going

    Disgraceful was my existence and only thorns stroked me
    Black roses were swallowing me like a prey
    Gloaming shadows surrounded me
    Beneath the indifferent gaze of the silvery moon

    I could only hear laments as manifestations of the night
    A mist of sorrow shrouded me like a gloomy cloak
    The cold air was full of decadence
    My heart slowed down at the sound of the drums of mourning

    I wandered beneath the barren heavens
    I had become a ghost clothed in remnants of despair
    I strived to seek refuge and rescue
    But all I could ever feel was the numbness of endless wandering

    The world around me blurred into shadows
    My realm was a graveyard of forsaken dreams
    Where even the stars had eclipsed for eternity
    And the winds sang elegies to my fall

    In this endless procession of sadness
    I was no longer a creature of the light because my heart was deceased
    But I was only a phantom dissolving into a mist
    Forever swallowed by the sorrowful darkness

    Leaving myself behind
    I left a trail of thorns and blood
    My heart was torn apart
    I was just a shadow of the underworld

    My face was carved with tears and scars
    And the paleness of death erased it all
    As if all my agony had faded like dust
    In the end, I vanished into the oblivion of forsaken sorrows.
    Elisabetta

  • Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked up in my fantasies
    Aware of my unawareness
    Softly indulging in my pleasant decay
    Falling into the trap of loneliness
    In an existence deprived of love and delight
    My desires and fantasies became the only salvation

    I knew not how long I’d been locked up in my realm
    Lovely dreams visited my feeble slumber
    On the silent nights, protected by the shadows of ghosts
    Waiting for some fallen luminary to glimmer sparkles toward me
    I lingered through eternity
    In the darkness of my mind

    Confused and dismayed I wandered in my loneliness
    Starving delight and merriment
    As I was doomed to a cruel and infamous fate
    Nothing I could have accomplished to change the course of occurrences
    I was chained to a sinking boat
    While hearing the screams of spirits haunting me

    Until my very last day of existence
    The infamous tyranny to which I had been enslaved, had disposed of my life
    My heart was crumbled to dust of decay
    My body was the representation of dread and abuse
    Time was not anymore the master of my life
    As I became part of the realm of the dead

    The sun no longer shone upon me
    Instead, the tempestuous clouds obscured all the stars
    Leaving me sightless for the deep obscurity of the night
    I was not anymore aware of my lugubre surroundings
    Trapped within my own nightmares
    Disregarded by the world outside

    I floated into an endless silence
    Each gust was a sigh fading in the void
    I sought fragments of my sparkling and fleeting dreams
    Where once there was love, now only shadows had remained
    My mind had become a labyrinth of dead fantasies
    I stumbled through the graveyard of shadows

    Chasing glimmers of elation I could never grasp
    As each vision slipped away like grains of sand
    The cold embrace of solitude came to be my only companion
    While I longed for the glimmer of a flame that would never ignite
    The wicked claws of my destiny held me captive
    Tugging at the fabric of my fragile hope

    I still lingered in the darkest of prisons
    Where even the faintest flicker of rebellion was obliterated
    In the end, I was nothing but a fading star
    Falling from the sky of my own illusions
    To be swallowed entirely by the noiseless abyss of darkness
    I was locked up in my fantasies, made of void and oblivion
    Where my dreams dissolved into nothingness.
    Elisabetta

  • The Embrace Of The Shadows

    The Embrace Of The Shadows

    The embrace of the shadows woke me up
    It was midnight, and I had fallen deep into the ocean of dreams
    Crimson roses had blossomed around me
    I was wandering in the luscious garden of lust

    I had become a creature of the darkness
    I was the bride of an incubus who chased me in my nightmares
    He visited me every eternal night
    Draining me of my blood and soul

    My supernatural existence was entwined with decay and grief
    While my demon claimed me as his devoted servant
    Mesmerised by his enchantment
    I let him bind me in chains

    His poisonous kisses intoxicated me
    I felt bewitched and hypnotised by his presence
    He followed me wherever I went
    Taking the form of a magnificent crow

    I was crying blood while a crown of red roses and thorns was resting upon my hair
    A symbol of my enduring anguish that I cherished with devotion
    My heart was pierced by daggers of passion and torment
    I was bound eternally to my divine master

    I was obsessively enslaved by fervour and pain
    I found endless delight in every pang he inflicted
    For each bleeding wound, I felt an ecstatic pleasure
    The chains around my body made me feel free

    In the embrace of the shadows
    I had become a creature of the darkness
    My dark wings carried me, enticed by the lullabies of nightfall
    Following my beloved ghoul in the wilderness of darkness and oblivion

    I was merrily doomed and I sank deeper into the abyss of forbidden desires
    Conscious I was not anymore and my senses overwhelmed my mind
    I was the darkness, the shadows and the abyss of oblivion
    My dark sovereign had taken complete possession of me
    And I felt a blissful euphoria inside myself
    We were the same creatures
    Made of lust, grief, and ecstatic decay.
    Elisabetta

  • Wandering In Dark Chambers

    Wandering In Dark Chambers

    Wandering in dark chambers where the bones of my memories were hung
    I was bound by enchanting spells to be a lost soul in an endless realm of emptiness
    Speechless as I became, I was just a living tragedy
    And darkness was my humble and gloomy dwelling
    Where I could be nobody without pretending to fulfil my wishes

    Definitely, all my desires and dreams were annihilated like extinguished flames
    No shame and delusion could have carved my name in my fate
    Because in the end, I didn’t pay attention to what was happening outside that realm of self-destruction
    No one would have rescued me from that nightmare
    Misery and grief were my relentless shadows, following wherever I was proceeding

    Wandering in dark chambers of agony, I was left to bleed out my very soul
    Enduring the most agonizing of sufferings, betrayed by my ancient illusions
    Silly dreams that once deceived me had become my merciless torturers, from whom I could not flee
    Hiding in the depths of gloom, I avoided crossing others’ paths, limping like a wounded animal,
    after having shed my last tears
    Swaying in uncertainty and restlessness, I lie in decay, as I know that I’m destined to the eternal doom

    Faded visions stroked my heart and I had the certitude that nothing could be more possible but drinking the poison of my own illusions
    My heart is a ravine with a thirst for silent collapse with a collar made of misery and decay
    The tragedy of being was embedded into my essence and I shed tears
    The hushed fate misled me into a maze of dust and decline that I was not aware of
    The untold secrets of my past remained buried underneath the garden of chagrin and preordained to stay forever there
    And I kept wandering in the dark chambers of my unending descent.
    Elisabetta

  • Torments Are My Delight

    Torments Are My Delight

    Torments are my delight and bliss
    I love to feel a pang piercing my heart
    I love to pine for love devotionally
    I live only in my dreams like a fairy
    Flying lightly from one flower to another one

    I’m an ethereal creature belonging to phantasmagorias
    I’m a little spirit of the night
    My heart is avid of passions and desires
    In my secret garden of lush and extravagance
    Torments are my solace and mirth

    My fate is a turmoil of unknown chaos
    Not paying attention to my fears
    I live carelessly as every day is my last day
    My senses are intoxicated by the scent of extravagant flowers
    And let my body surrender to lust in my haven of lush

    I wear an exquisite and magnificent gown made of tragedy
    My ethereal wings carry me everywhere I wish
    In sadness, I find refuge under the shadows of ancient trees
    In joy, I relish pursuing my dreams of oddities
    Safety is not my favourite word in the dictionary because I adore nightmares

    Every night, I crave to be consumed by the passion of my darkest fantasies
    In the darkness, I burn with the desire to be pierced by agony
    Gloomy shadows whisper my name, enticing me closer
    As I feel an ecstatic pain, I hesitate to surrender
    I’m so lost in the euphoria of torment’s kiss

    Each sigh of mine is like a melody of forbidden delights
    When pleasure and pain entwine in an endless embrace
    I welcome the darkness as its touches are so exquisite and deep
    I become a creature made of fire and fiery lust
    A blaze burns my heart at every stroke

    Every kiss carves a searing scar of longing on my skin
    As a reminder of the desires consuming me whole
    And in the flames, I’m reborn like a blooming blossom
    Torments are my delight and I surrender to the sweet agony of my lusts.
    Elisabetta

  • Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal madness dragged me deep into the dungeon of torment and despair
    A fortress where I couldn’t fly with my imagination
    An isolated island of sorrow and heartache
    Chained by the moans of my own thoughts

    Hence, I started to seek shadows instead of light
    I wandered lost in the wilderness and surrounded by absolute silence
    I became a captive to the memories and echoes of the past
    With the certitude that a wicked fate ruled my existence

    All the mirrors around me sought in vain to reveal the mystery within myself
    In the gloom of their cryptic tales
    For I could not comprehend their bizarre words
    Because they were just utterances lost in the infinite void

    In that abyss of subliminal madness
    The relentless wind of laments was blowing against me
    Gelid arrows that pierced through my body
    Fragments of anguish that were sharp daggers

    Profound wounds were carved on my heart
    Too deep for time to mend or forget
    Bleeding sorrows staining the hours
    Instants marked by silent screams

    Grief became a solemn veil that shrouded me
    Memories burned like inextinguishable flames
    And all that remained were ashes of dreams scattered in the wind
    Beneath the moonless dark sky of my endless night

    Nothing remained to me
    Not even a flake of hope
    Not even a fragment of a dream
    But only a subliminal madness to relieve my tragedy

    In silence and solitude
    My life was merely a paroxysm of darkness
    A frenzy of obscure nightmares chased me
    I could only sigh at the sound of raindrops getting me through

    In this desolate maze of endless sadness
    Not even a flicker of defiance was burning within me
    I couldn’t hear any whisper of solace
    I crawled through the mist of my own despair

    The shadows that once enticed me now suffocated me
    And the silence, once my treasured haven, transformed into a dungeon
    Whenever I strived to chase the faintest pleasure
    I was left aimless and shattered

    I still couldn’t find a realm beyond this dark veil
    A world where torments were no longer my torturers
    Hence, I was bound to this endless darkness
    And my heart was filled with subliminal madness.
    Elisabetta

  • Fading Into The Darkness

    Fading Into The Darkness

    Fading into the darkness
    Vanishing into the abyss of decay
    I found myself surrounded by my fears and nightmares
    With no hope to stay alive and survive all the anguish

    I become an ethereal creature falling into the garden of lust
    Where I’m intoxicated by the poisonous and vicious scent of flowers
    Flowers of love and flowers of death
    An obsidian alcove where my passions take form in phantom splendour, doomed to languish with the waning moon

    The most unholy visions come to my mind
    And my heart pounds like the frantic wings of a bat lost in a cathedral’s hollow darkness
    Whilst a pounding rain pierces my heart like sharp daggers

    My silent screams rise into the ethereal void
    Leaving me lonely as I gasp on the ground in my dungeon of solitude and sorrow
    Fading into the darkness of my pangs of love
    I vanish in the mysterious world of my nightmares

    I lost my mind, and my soul belongs to every torment of mine
    I saw all the occurrences of my existence floating in my mind
    Like haunting ghosts stalking me in every hidden thought
    I belonged to my dreads rooted inside my heart like sharp thorns

    My luscious passions and longings bend me
    They break my heart, shattering into thousands of fragments
    I remain totally alone, wandering in the darkness that is killing me
    Like a sweet poison tainting my soul softly and slowly

    The tragicity of my fate condemned me to never lie in rest
    The wild storm inside my heart lacerated me
    And I strived to survive and maintain sanity
    But every spec of wisdom had left me permanently

    Doomed to be a peculiar and ethereal creature
    I was resolute to reside in my own realm of phantasmagoria
    And live there for the rest of my miserable reality
    To forsake forever my pristine mind, once chained in obsessive normality, now unshackled in delirium.
    Elisabetta

  • Under The Spell of Despair

    Under The Spell of Despair

    Under the spell of despair and distress, I fell into a slumber that dragged me to a realm of darkness and madness.

    Disquietude welcomed me like a soft petal falling on the frigid soil soaked with tears and blood in a domain where I had always been a nobody.

    The sound of a storm kept me asleep as I was under a dark spell of pain. Loving to be possessed by an anguish that was piercing and breaking me.

    A sharp blade stroked me just as an affection manifestation of my nightmares, visiting me like haunting spirits, leaving me bleeding my soul out.

    Decadent desires of lust grabbed my body, tearing me apart with their alluring viciousness, leaving me like a crushed rose whose blood stained red all over the garden grass.

    Faraway, wicked echoes of phoney oddities and curiosities claimed me as their biological creature and beloved possession of my early youth. They trampled upon my essence repeatedly until my soul dissolved into nothingness.

    Old forbidden secrets were kept inside my heart like decayed treasures made of rotten fondness. They made me feel like a butterfly without wings and without a name.

    And so, I became nameless and faceless, ensnared under the spell of despair and mortification, revelling in the triumph of decadence and the torment of existence.

    Floundering in the unfathomable depths of an ocean of dreams and illusions, I drifted endlessly, lost within their spectral embrace.

    In the end, I became a crimson blossom, sustained by the moonlight’s ghostly glow and the deception of my obscene dreams.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Dark Vault

    The Dark Vault

    The dark vault of death and desires was the hidden alcove where all the dreams became flowers of death.

    Desires painted the antique wallpaper in red blood, casting a spell on whoever dared to dream in a deadly slumber trapped in those walls.

    No light could have pierced the darkness that ruled that niche, not even the silvery moonlight, so shy to surrender to all that gloominess.

    Far away from every kind of imagination, desires, and dreams were nothing else than a beautiful aspect of death, with the only purpose of obliterating everything.

    No dream would have ever come true; instead, they would manifest the only final aim: the perpetual and endless destruction of all that was pure and magnificent.

    The dark vault was a mysterious crypt that existed only in a chimerical realm where time and space made no sense.

    The walls of this eldritch place were adorned with mirrors of betrayal, their shattered surfaces still gleaming.

    Each fragment reflected only the phantoms of lost expectancies and fractured souls. Every sliver concealed a story of despair, hissing in the silent domain of this dark vault.

    In the heart of this chasm stood a grave of glooms carved from obsidian and veined with crimson ichor.

    A tome rested upon the grave; its pages were inked with the anguish of a thousand forgotten souls.

    To read from this book meant to be bound to the vault forever, chained by the weight of desires turned to ash.

    Sobs crept as if disembodied voices murmured secrets of aggrieved existences. They wove around the corners like the Hydra, promising happiness and pleasure but delivering only torments.

    They unveiled tales of love turned decayed, of corrupted ambitions, of defiled innocence—all reduced to hollow vestiges of what could have existed.

    The darkness surrounded everything as a cruel reminder that no dream could ever flourish in such a place.

    Those naive dreamers who stumbled into this dark vault were ensnared by its grim allure. Their desires, once flamboyant and passionate, were siphoned away, leaving their spirits barren and their forms reduced to statues of cinders.

    These uncautious wanderers remained permanently frozen in agony, outstretching their arms and striving to seize dreams that were lost forever.

    The vault itself seemed like a living creature, feeding on the despair it provoked and expanding its labyrinth routes with each new prey.

    New grotesque chambers unfurled like malignant blooms, adorned with relics of devastated hearts and the skeletal relics of every aborted dream.

    There was no escape in this wicked vault, for it was an eternally cursed and tragic realm—a liminal space that swallowed all, reducing everything to echoes in its mournful symphony.

    The dark vault was the embodiment of the inevitable, where every dream, every desire, every spark of life came to die.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Empty Life

    An Empty Life

    An empty life became a monument to emptiness,
    A celebration of nothingness in an empty universe,
    Among shadows and darkness, where silence ruled.

    Ghostly whispers were ephemeral vestiges,
    Of delights lost in forsaken dwellings,
    Houses crumbled in hollow valleys,
    Under the glare of dark clouds, forever forced to roam.

    An empty life drifted through the gardens of thorns,
    Where vibrant screams faded into mere sighs,
    And undisclosed dreams perished.

    The clock ticked slowly, its hands wearied,
    Time grieved softly, though none were teary,
    Chasing phantoms of faded grace,
    In a world stripped bare, devoid of space.

    Empty chambers lit by the dimmest light,
    Once filled with the ardour, they were now eerie mazes,
    With portraits of eyes that once sparkled with lively glee.

    Staring blankly beyond imagination,
    In the mirror, an outsider’s mask,
    Reflected haunting reveries in this empty space,
    A life once painted in vibrant hues.

    Grey blood was a relic of a cruel fate,
    Each day, a raindrop fell behind the silver surface of a mirror,
    In the void’s embrace, where expectations grew thin.

    Lost in the labyrinth of despair,
    An empty life drifted, gasping for air,
    The garden once bloomed with bright colours,
    Now lay barren, devoid of light.

    Withering petals like dreams left behind,
    In the stillness, a haunting echo of the mind,
    Once, delight and joy filled every creaking stair.

    And so silence weaved its cloak of despair,
    The fervour of a touch now was just a ghost,
    In this empty life, memories tormented the most,
    Cobbled paths led to nowhere forever.

    With dreams forgotten, everyone would have taken their vow,
    To wander aimlessly, in shadows confined,
    In the emptiness, where no solace could ever be found.

    A glimmer of hope in a world turned bleak,
    Finally, every endeavour felt cold and weak
    As the sun set low on a weary spirit,
    An empty life remained beyond control.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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