Tag: decay

  • Stars And Love In The Gilded Temple

    Stars And Love In The Gilded Temple

    Stars and love in the gilded temple of painting, where pastries and mediocrity were scattered like breadcrumbs on wooden floors, and mediocrity strutted in sequins, flaunting a shallow decadence and ignorance as if they were sublime artworks. Fringe Smoke, with a cigarette held high like a crown of absurdity, ascended the stage with her phoney allure, composed of black veils and vintage diva attitudes. Sugar Puff managed a last-ditch performance: duck lips in elevators, mirrors, and gilded entrances; her book of pastries and amorous fancies was gathering dust, her fame a whisper carried only through the clownish echoes of paid applause; her obsession was a freak show, a crime-comedy, a circus of imitation.

    Meanwhile, the haughty café girl was humming seductively inside the run-down building. Their beloved mistress, Decay Queen, reigned with an iron fist in one hand, while seducing her young girls with soft feathers to secure her whims. Fringe Smoke strolled across the cracked, ageing marble, her fingers fluttering as if the crowd were applauding with every step, her hips swaying in a futile attempt to imitate elegance; Haute Couture Hysteria fashion perfumes draped her like a fading ribbon of believability, every pout, every smirk a dramatic deformation of the truth, cigarette ash falling like confetti onto the frescoes that peeled and mocked silently.

    Decay Queen, swollen with self-indulgence, oversplashed her flock with precious jewels and pricey scents, each gift treated as a token of obedience, every flourish a display of vanity, her generosity exaggerated, her self-esteem gargantuan. The young gals, many years her junior, adored and faltered in confusion, while the art templum suffered under the weight of centuries of neglect: rafters sagged, floors slanted, frescoes wept in colourless sadness. Foreign and local newspapers whispered of imminent collapse, yet she lay in her castle of luxury, measuring allegiance through pleasures, secret love affairs, and flashy gestures. Every mannerism teetered on the verge of ridiculousness, as if the sanctuary of art itself were ready to collapse at the screams provoked by her antics.

    Meanwhile, the café girl twirled with purposeful innocence, pin-up smiles glued to her face as if they were wallpaper, dispensing literary advice with the grandiosity of a stage actress; her gestures were enormous, every word hollow, echoing emptily through the gilded corridors. She was merely a living prop in the drama of absurd ambition.

    Perfume, smoke, and sugar swirled in a toxic storm. Fringe Smoke flicked her ashes like a jester in full parade; Sugar Puff flailed frantically in obsessive submission; the café coquette gestured like a puppet on invisible strings; and Decay Queen gazed down upon them all with a victorious smirk, the queen of rot, lavish and ridiculous, lavishing fortunes on whims, whims on vanity, vanity on chaos.

    The grand temple of painting itself, a monument to centuries of human achievement, creaked, groaned, and whispered; its frescoes curled, marble cracked, mocking every over-the-top gesture, every insignificant ambition; its shadows shattered, floors trembled, ceilings sighed at the endless parade of fools.

    In this theatre of folly, extravagant lust, promiscuity, and grotesque desire, every perfume, every sigh, every desperate glance celebrated rot, and the gilded halls that were once the sanctuary of beauty and eternity had become a stage for caricature, their echoes filled with sorrow and grief, sighs, quiet tears, and fatal surrender, while the absurd court carried on with its never-ending, ridiculous, and bacchanalian spectacles of folly.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Among Heartbeats And Sighs

    Among Heartbeats And Sighs

    Among heartbeats and sighs, I passed my long summer nights, while dew from the flowers wetted my skin. Purity and lust blended, luring me to the garden of the forbidden desires.

    The wind carried the exquisite poison of my flowers to my lips, awakening my body. I was mesmerised and enchanted with the phantom beauty of my own descent.

    I dreamed of marvellous roses sumptuously stroking my body, leaving me in ecstatic bliss. I grabbed and bit the fruits of delirium and madness ready to satisfy my greed.

    Desire and avarice were my startling cravings, which made my heart beat again and again like a source of power. I was dominated by my passions that monopolised all my attention.

    I fell into the trap of my mistakes and cried out all my pangs as if my teardrops could have erased all that dismay. I kept a multitude of longings in my secret treasure chest, which I sealed with tears and blood.

    A gloomy cloud of fear and disillusion enveloped me threateningly, deterring me from staring at the luminaries shining bright in the dark blue firmament.

    I was conquered like prey by my most wicked impulses, which were conducting me to the brink of madness. I couldn’t find peace anymore in my slumber since evil ghouls were keeping me eternally awake.

    Demise would have been the portal of my liberation, and instead, I was playing with ghosts and magical roses. I didn’t want to accept the truth, I desired to pretend that everything was perfectly terrible.

    The silver moon gleamed upon me pouring its ethereal light over my garden of woe and sorrow. And among heartbeats and sighs, I remained silent and listened to the whispers of the nocturnal breeze.

    I could scent the taste of poison and blood on my red lips. I felt a burden in my chest burning like an everlasting flame. I wished fervently to be a free butterfly flying over enchanted flowers. I wished intensely to be a free bird, soaring high amidst clouds and stars.

    A spell was cast over me, binding my heart to invisible phantoms. Desires had ensnared me in their vicious frolic, melting my heart into a lake of fire and ice. Therefore, I became a creature of that realm of shadows and darkness.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sweet And Mournful Curses

    Sweet And Mournful Curses

    Sweet and mournful curses fell all over me like a midsummer rain shower, while I was enticed frantically by my nocturnal demons with shallow folly. All alone I tried to disentangle myself from those chains of obsession.

    I could barely breathe and I wasn’t able to remember my name at all. So reserved and bashful as I was born, I couldn’t avoid wandering nowhere to find myself and the arcane secret locked by my fate.

    I had wished for myself a different destiny that would have granted me solace and delights. No peace remained in my treasure chest but only the dust of decay and a sparkle of dismay.

    A defending silence claimed that I was insolent for my fearless dreams. I missed the calm nights at the candlelight soothed by the sound of lullabies of ocean storms.

    I envisioned the image of skeletons each time I approached the silver surface of a broken mirror. A feverish delirium forced me to succumb to the darkness of the night.

    I might have been dead. I might have been alive. The gelid arrows of the frosty wind penetrated my heart that was burning like an everlasting flame. So frail I felt I could crumble like a crystal flower under the influence of devastation.

    Maybe the abyss of descent had swallowed me like a wild monster from the underworld. Chaos bound me like a velvet veil fallen from the gloomy sky, while shadows hushed me as if I were on the brink of disclosing their enigmas.

    Sweet and mournful curses lulled me to death, engraving my epitaph on every stone of my dungeon. A magnificent melancholy consoled me now that I was nothing but just the spoil of myself.

    I had created my own doom by means of my own nightmares. Was I the real and only creator of my own oblivion? That question echoed in my head forever like a haunting dream. I couldn’t even surprise myself anymore.

    So greatly lured was I, drawn into the maze of my own turmoil, where each image promised only ecstasy and instead offered me only exquisite torment. So much intertwined I was in the spiderweb of my fears that I could liberate myself.

    Devoured by my own passions and obsessions, I was steeped in sweet and mournful curses, which clung to my very heart like insidious ivy. Meanwhile, the imperceptible sound of the night surrounded me like mystic mist. And there I remained like a frozen butterfly in a garden of shimmering glaze.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Ensnared In My Own Obsessions

    Ensnared In My Own Obsessions

    Ensnared in my own obsessions, tricked by my own illusions, I wandered, lost in the abyss of my fantasies. Nightmares were lulling me to sleep on a winter night, while soft whispers were revealing terrible truths to me.

    Time was slow like my heartbeat. I couldn’t cope with my anguish. It was a massive pain that devoured my heart constantly and slowly. Slow was the time. Slow was the consistency of all my pangs inflicted on me.

    Far away, I couldn’t perceive any clear horizon because respite was cast away from me. I could have cried; I could have screamed; I could have died from the cruel distress; no mortal soul would have ever noticed it in the realm of sugary masquerades and coffee goblets.

    Overwhelmed by the sense of oblivion and nothingness, I begged my fate to make me forget my bitter and sad memories, in an attempt to save myself from self-destruction. Teardrops of crystal ran across my face until they fell into darkness in the absolute silence of the eternal night.

    And I finally sipped the very last drop from my poison goblet. I could feel my heart fracture in all its power, and my body shake with bliss and delight. I embodied my decay fiercely, and flames engulfed me impetuously.

    Shadows captured me viciously with their menacing claws, ripping my heart to pieces of frantic flesh. Shivers of ecstasy and panic tore through my mind, and my body was no longer under my control.

    The void called me as if I were a creature of its realm. That immortal doom seized me in a dungeon where no starlight could penetrate. I hesitated and sighed in the midst of the nocturnal haze, which hid the deception of my dreams.

    Ensnared by my own obsessions, fooled by my own delusions, I strolled, although I was confused in the chasm of my daydreams. I couldn’t feel the loneliness anymore because of my imagination. I couldn’t discern anymore what was real and what was not.

    I strove to feel calm and so much wished to be a star glowing in the sky among clouds and moons. I aimed to be infinity and emptiness. My heart became a labyrinth of frenzy and ambiguities. I was longing to be taken away from my hallucinations.

    And I screamed to the firmament a multitude of times, though I knew that no creature was willing to hear my laments. Wicked visions cast a spell over me, mesmerising me, and I surrendered to their shadiness, mistaking it for deliverance.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Whimsical Chimaeras

    Whimsical Chimaeras

    Whimsical chimaeras blossomed in my garden of extravagant flowers and frenetic trees. When the silent valley of dreams was crammed with forbidden hopes, and the stars never hesitated to shine. It was my delusional fantasy and my secret inner world, where I could be free from mortal dogmas, made of aberrant rules.

    Many nights I have wandered, embracing my silliness and uncommon turmoil. Foolishness was my only state of mind, and every portal could unlock for me. I wept, and I sighed, as if it were my only way to express myself. The cold night wind hushed my aching heart, filling it with fear and torment.

    The snow painted the soil with white crystalline hues, while my slumber had kept my heart from aching more copiously. I had lost the capability to listen to melodies, but all that I could hear was a fanfare chanting death and defeat. My whimsical chimaeras had transformed into shadows and darkness.

    I had become a stranger in my own realm, which I couldn’t recognise any longer at all. I felt like I was stripped of all my delusional dreams, which I considered my only comfort and sweet haven. No candied flowers or chocolate-coated leaves prospered in my garden, which was now nothing but a land of frost and thorns.

    The reality had transmuted into a sharp dagger, depriving me of every longing, for I had lost my strength to escape from that snare of descent. Melancholia burnt my heart, transforming it into an everlasting torch. I encountered no compassion or tenderness, but pointed hooks that ripped me apart.

    My heart was wrapped in thorns and quills, and it bled copiously. Unbearable pangs crossed my body, reducing it to misery and dismay. Shallowness had taken over, and what appeared loudest and most false had replaced what was authentic and sublime.

    Darkness, together with the moon and the stars, was a cynical witness to every single occurrence. Silence had sealed my lips, and I was no longer able to make a single sound. Definitely, my whimsical chimaeras were just a remote memory of my shattered mind.

    I was already buried before dying. I was buried a long time ago by the hands of my delusional fantasies and absurd expectancies. I was conscious of my decay and that I would soon embrace my final demise. In that exquisite garden of bygone flowers, I lay in wait for my very last moment of life.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • My Enchanted Nights

    My Enchanted Nights

    My enchanted nights perished one by one, like creatures dying and being reborn, melting into a single, unique, and everlasting night. I fell in love, time and again, with monsters in the guise of magnificent and exquisite angels. I spent my endless nights casting spells and magic upon mortal souls.

    I felt mad and sore as my heart was pounding in all its fury, like a winter storm at full might. My scorched heart had been repeatedly stabbed and torn to pieces. I cried and screamed in vain into the emptiness of the nocturnal sky, where I couldn’t see any stars.

    I was dressed in dismay and grief, while the shadows of my beloved darkness wrapped me in their ethereal veil, begging all the ghosts of my imaginary realm to set me free from all the anguish and pangs I was condemned to hold in my bleeding heart.

    In my enchanted nights, I was intoxicated by poison potions and magic spells, wondering if there was some way to flee my infamous fate, unsure as I felt myself in that absolute silence that enveloped me inexorably.

    Distracted by enchanting melodies and disruptive rhymes that echoed in my mind, I became a part of the magical maelstrom that dragged me into the abyss of swoon and oblivion. I had transformed into a creature that refused the order of the mortal world.

    My enchanted nights imbued me with chaos and stardust, inducing me to fall apart and renounce all the dreams I had once made an oath to. So much was I steeped in poison and witchcraft that I had forsaken my promises.

    I had always been cursed by dreadful premonitions, as I was doomed to perish in decay and obliteration. My bygone, enchanted nights, made of glimmering luminaries, were nothing but faraway reveries.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sparkles Of Sadness

    Sparkles Of Sadness

    Sparkles of sadness manifested in the gloomy forest of my dreams. Lulled by a torpor of defeat and annihilation, I attempted to traverse a place unknown to me, with astonishment and wonder, yet, at the same time, with a heart steeped in sadness.

    Although the silver moon illuminated this unknown and dark forest, the further I proceeded, the more it seemed that I was losing myself in oblivion and in the abyss of my fears and uncertainties, for it was there that I was rooted; my heart was torn by a sense of suspension into the void.

    Indeed, I was overwhelmed by my nightmares, which slowly revealed themselves in the shapes of ghosts and wraiths, as I proceeded along my uncertain path without a clear destination. My gentle pains, which scourged my heart and disturbed my mind, rendered me powerless in the face of such apparitions.

    Even unwillingly, I had fallen victim to a vicious and infamous game of which I was not the author. And I could not even, powerless as I was, awaken from that deadly torpor, which was destroying me every night, as the wind consumes even the most unyielding rock.

    However much I struggled to oppose the oblivion that sought to annihilate me and erase my name, I could find no hold, no aid that might pull me out of that condition of misery and decay. My heart was lacerated and bled all my hopes like a raging cascade.

    Suffering and pain were the only faithful companions that followed me everywhere. In this realm of sepulchral silence and sighs of souls that could find no peace, I remained still, awaiting my demise.

    Bloodless, exhausted, I could no longer proceed and I fell beneath the weight of my own anguish, as if it were made of gigantic, menacing clouds bearing down upon me. And thus I vanished, leaving nothing but a trail of sparkles of sadness and blood, as if I had never been born, as if no one had ever known that I had existed.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Mortification And Delirium

    Mortification And Delirium

    Mortification and delirium
    My guardian demons
    They came to rescue me
    During a dreadful slumber
    I felt frozen hooks all over me
    It was magical and startling
    Nevertheless, the fear came to me
    I was wandering, lonely and vulnerable
    They were hunting me in the dead of night
    I could hear their steps behind me
    But I couldn’t discern a shadow from a glimmering star
    As the clouds had overwhelmed the night sky
    And the moon had vanished quietly

    Wherever I attempted to proceed
    I couldn’t find any portal to flee that abode
    My gown, adorned with blood and snow, had accompanied me
    The creatures of the underworld traced my every movement
    It seemed to me that I was mesmerised and hypnotised by their spells
    While a massive chain of hooks and pins entwined my body like a metallic vine
    I was an evanescent creature, falling apart into the abyss of decay and despair
    Under the indifferent gaze of the stars, cold and leaden

    The soft snowflakes were falling all over me
    Kissing my scorched and slashed skin
    Bleeding and sobbing, I had to face my fears and my cruel fate
    No refuge was granted to me
    No lovely embrace was going to welcome me
    I had lost all my hopes, and my longings were reduced to ashes
    I was condemned to wander endlessly in an abyss of doom
    Where I disappeared completely, and no memories of my existence were left
    Mortification and delirium were no longer my guardian demons, but the ominous and frightening flanks of myself

    How could I have deceived myself so recklessly?
    How could I have allowed myself to surrender to death?
    It was so brutal to admit that I had died ominously
    And moreover, that my name had been erased from the mortal realm
    My wishes of self-destruction had come true unexpectedly
    I was ensnared by the monsters I had birthed within myself
    They swallowed my heart each time I was overwhelmed by a passion
    I had become the creator of my own downfall
    Each flame of desire had transformed into a sharp dagger, piercing me with devout cruelty
    Nothing could have been stopped anymore
    I was condemned and obliterated.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • With A Shadowed Soul

    With A Shadowed Soul

    With a shadowed soul and a heart in pieces,
    I proceeded without direction and without refuge
    In the vast expanse of works of eternal beauty and magnificence,
    In my solitude, misunderstood and isolated,
    shunned for my identity,
    always having to hide like a creature invisible to mortals,
    yet present and alive,
    With a heart burning like an unquenchable flame.

    Deafening noises haunted me,
    And I sought to hide as far away as possible
    In a clearing of unquenchable and precious peace.
    I dodged mortals, I dodged their wicked and illusory souls;
    beings I deemed unworthy even of their glance upon me.

    The thorns of my sorrows pressed into my heart,
    making it bleed.
    It had become like a kind of gigantic sculpture
    that radiated pain and the weight of life,
    But also ardour and passion.

    The envy and jealousy of petty, tainted beings
    left traces of filth and decay
    upon my veil of protection and innocence.
    The sacredness and devotion of my heart
    had been contaminated and defiled
    by their greed and rotting wickedness.

    Their twisted faces bore a grin of satisfaction
    and, at the same time, of bitter corruption,
    to the point that their faces were disfigured
    by sores and deformities,
    as if they had contracted leprosy
    or some terrifying disease.

    My search for untainted love and the sublime had become impossible,
    for the shadows of these monsters,
    whose cruelties towards me were unparalleled and horrific,
    obstructed the view and the landscape
    to the point that I could see no more,
    And the fog filled my eyes,
    And I saw only darkness—
    The vastness of oblivion tried to swallow me.

    By now, the veils of illusion had fallen to the ground,
    And I could see reality as it truly was,
    For those bitter disappointments I was experiencing
    In those very moments of contrition
    had helped me to see those malevolent and dreadful souls
    for what they truly were.

    With a shadowed soul, I remained abashed,
    standing at the edge where hope and despair are mashed.
    Elisabetta

  • The Abyss Of Desolation And Affliction

    The Abyss Of Desolation And Affliction

    The abyss of desolation and affliction appeared to me in a dream.
    I could not tell if it was a hallucination
    or some malevolent spirit that had caught me
    in the torpor of my nightly slumber.

    Spectres appeared to me, agile and winged,
    Their claws etched marks upon my skin,
    As if to inscribe arcane messages
    Beyond my mortal grasp to decode.
    The moon shone bright and awe-inspiring above,
    An eternal night enveloped all,
    Where swirling clouds danced,
    A solemn escort to those shadowy phantoms.

    Figures cloaked in hidden mantles and hoods,
    As if unwilling to reveal their names,
    Lay inert along a river—
    At times, it was a still pond, and at times, it was a shimmering lagoon.

    I felt a weight of oppression and annihilation,
    As if all my feelings and desires
    Had been obliterated in the presence
    Of such a bleak and haunting landscape.

    I could not feel joy or enthusiasm
    At the very moment I realised
    That the slightest hope might be mistaken for illusion,
    Denying me the grace to surrender
    To my senses, to my subconscious.

    I walked with uncertain steps,
    So unsteady was the path before me.
    No clear horizon met my gaze,
    Only shadows stretching into the unknown.

    Having firmly shut the doors of the past,
    I had renounced all that belonged to that world,
    Memories included — or at least I tried to deny them.
    Yet certain ghosts of old, like skeletons risen from nightmares,
    Pursued me wherever I went,
    With steady, relentless steps.
    And I, breath held tight,
    Sought refuge in that realm of shadowy spirits.

    Monsters of a time long lost,
    They watched me slyly from their hiding places,
    Plotting behind my back a possible attack,
    A grasp for power, as if I were a helpless creature,
    Ready to fall into their claws.
    But truly, I knew well that my heart belonged to myself,
    And no one nor nothing could taint it
    With their corruption and decay.
    Elisabetta

© Esther Racah 2026. All rights reserved.