Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: defeat

  • Among Shadows And Monsters

    Among Shadows And Monsters

    Among shadows and monsters, I was left to hover
    Merciless was the despair inside my broken heart, since misery ruled my life, condemning me to wander endlessly. I was left to merciless ghouls haunting me like wicked demons; all of them reminded me of the past I’ve forever tried to flee.

    Time twisted around me like a serpent, devouring every trace of the glow of a dream, while I wandered among whispers and sighs of all those aborted dreams of mine that I couldn’t save anymore. It felt as though I were seeing my decay with my eyes and I couldn’t find any redemption or rescue from my fate.

    I was adrift in a sinking boat during a winter night storm, all alone facing death. Nobody would ever give attention to my defeat but only me. In the quiet void, my voice was lost like a resentful wind howling without being heard. And in that very moment, I realised and accepted my loneliness and my doomed fate.

    My solitude and misery became my companions while an infernal stupor obsessed my mind, leading me to folly through its betrayal. I sat on my throne of darkness and became queen of the kingdom of shadows and black roses. I was no longer afraid of ghouls and monsters because I had come to be a creature of the night.

    In the abyss of anguish, I ruled over my fears and obsessions. My madness became my loyal reflection. All my fragilities and insecurities morphed into mirrors, thorns and candlesticks. Although I was among shadows and monsters, my fears no longer possessed me; instead, they carved arcane signs on my skin from which I bled.

    I discovered delight in my pains and built my castle from disdain. In magnificence and death, I married oblivion and I erased my name from the book of living souls. The stillness of eternity waited for me and I vanished into the aether. I was in the shadows and in the wind, in clouds and stars. I was an ephemeral gloom and a fleeting shadow, a transfiguration.
    Elisabetta

  • The Tides Of Death

    The Tides Of Death

    The tides of death and despair devour me into their abyss. Intimidated, I let the cold ocean swallow me in its frightening chaos. Humiliation and surrender chained me to the ocean floor; under constraints, I couldn’t escape my doomed fate.

    And I felt nothing, absolutely nothing. So much so that I was devoid of my essence and true self
    In the midst of emptiness, I was the embodiment of decadence and death. Nothing anymore could have hurt me because I was definitely belonging to the realm of demise.

    The tides of death transformed me into a creature of the realm of destruction and nothingness. I was a spirit of the dark abysses and my words were made of absolute silence. Betrayed by my dreams, I realised that I had no hope of staying alive and accepting my end.

    My heart had stopped beating and I was depleted like a withered rose. Nothing could have revived me and so much I strived to hold and cherish my desires, in the desperate endeavour to conquer my feeble spirit. The marine soil trembled under my faint body and opened into a dreadful gorge.

    Terror was the only emotion filling my heart. The distress was so brutal that it tore me apart. All that remained to me was to sing a silent song of desolation and defeat while collapsing under the weight of sorrow. I was all alone in the chasm of darkness and death, and nothing could have saved me.

    The tides of death possessed me and I couldn’t rebel against them. I was like a buried flower, dead before it was supposed to die. No tears rescued me from my deep despair. No slumber could have made me feel better. In that perpetual torpor, I was destined to remain for eternity and beyond.
    Elisabetta

  • The Infinite Darkness

    The Infinite Darkness

    The infinite darkness crept over the world,
    A veil so impenetrable, no light unfurled,
    In shadows profound, where silence reigned,
    Only specs of sorrow faintly remained.
    The moon, once bright, was now cast in gloom,
    Surrendering its glow to the infinite tomb.

    Beneath the heavens, void and stark,
    A restless whisper clung to the dark,
    Forgotten dreams were laid to waste,
    Swallowed whole with ungodly haste.
    The infinite darkness, cold and still,
    Devoured the soul, crushed the will.

    No star remained in the desolate sky,
    Only the wind’s morbid sigh,
    Through crumbled towers and withered trees,
    A graveyard of lost, forlorn pleas.
    The infinite darkness shrouded all,
    A bleak abyss without recall.

    The hour was late, the world grew numb,
    To the mournful beat of a ghostly drum.
    Voices long buried rose once more,
    Whispers of anguish at death’s door.
    The infinite darkness spread its reign,
    Boundless, eternal, all in vain.

    It claimed the hearts of those who wept,
    It haunted the dreams of those who slept.
    In every crevice, every space,
    It loomed like a spectre, leaving no trace
    Of the world that was, the days of light,
    All faded now in endless night.

    The infinite darkness fed on despair,
    Its breath a chill, an empty stare,
    It pulled the living toward the grave,
    For none, not one, could hope to be saved.
    In its embrace, no warmth remained,
    Only the chill of shadows, unrestrained.

    In the distance, a bell did toll,
    A knell for every lost soul.
    The infinite darkness had won its war,
    Leaving behind an open scar
    Upon the earth, upon the sky,
    A place where even death could die.

    The infinite darkness closed its grip,
    Tight as a chain, cold as a crypt.
    And in that void, so vast, so stark,
    Nothing was left but an endless dark.
    The infinite darkness, now complete,
    Bore the silence of final defeat.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Pain And Anguish

    Pain And Anguish

    Pain and anguish blossomed into a sombre dawn,
    When shadows lingered and hope withdrawn,
    And echoes of sorrow became silent and deep,
    In the abyss of grief, secrets were kept.

    A realm awash in tears that flowed like wild rivers,
    Where darkness reigned, and doubts grew,
    Within this bleak, relentless was the night,
    Glimmers of resilience fainted bright.

    Tales of shattered dreams and hearts torn apart,
    Wove a lore of loss, a solemn art,
    Amidst the despair, a sign of defeat and surrender,
    Yearned to pierce through the perpetual night.

    In the depths of desolation, a journey through sorrow,
    Kindling an unextinguished flame of destruction,
    Within the heavy gloom of ashes of despair,
    After the inexorable loss of solaces and grimaces.

    Haunting and heinous memories became hideous ghosts of the imagination,
    Influential in their gloomy and whispering torments,
    Leaving destruction and death behind.

    The aether became thick with the scent of despair,
    As intrusions from the past pierced through the night air,
    Spectral forms weaving a veil of woes,
    In a sky where the stars refused to glow.

    In a sky perpetually painted with a stormy dye,
    The silence was deafening, and the stillness was heavy as arsenic,
    Binding pure love and innocence in an unwavering state.

    In the shadow of sorrow, dreadful glimmers appeared,
    A long-forgotten nightmare as a distant hope,
    Fumbling in the darkness, wicked and frail,
    But enough to whisper that everything was lost.

    Pain and anguish bloomed into scorn and despair,
    During journeys made of infinite trials and unknown foes,
    When obscurity lingered and hope withdrawn,
    Echoes of sorrow became silent and deep,
    In the abyss of grief, secrets were kept.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Soft Torments

    Soft Torments

    Soft torments from a poison cup
    Like a dream
    I hold my hopes in vain
    My life is in ache with joys and time
    Far away
    It would not be so late
    To light my pleasure at the silent sight
    Before the storm comes
    I may know that life has faded away
    Because I have lost myself
    And still, it’s not fair

    Soft torments of past mistakes
    A burden that I must pay
    Life was past and dead
    It’s time to learn a new world
    Lost time to defeat
    The dust touched my heart
    And memories could save my mind
    To feel just the dreams of the ocean
    Into my inner space
    A soul could be lost on earth
    Cold like dust and dark like rain

    Soft torments of time
    Building my fantasies made of paper and darkness
    The waves of rainfall cannot feel alone in the blue
    In a beautiful state of deprivation
    Stars are full of fears
    As anguish is forever gone
    In the immensity of the dusk
    The cold light of my life has come to wait
    No pleasure was a wonder to behold
    Falling to weep
    When the heart is full of grief

    Soft torments I had achieved in vain
    Silver clouds still glowing in the sunlight
    A remorseless sight of betrayal in the fragrance of the summer
    The melody that stirs death in nature
    Under the light of flashes dropping in the darkness
    In this sky, my soul cannot be filled with a gleam
    An eternal poem about life
    When the gloominess of every thought perishes in new longings
    Whispering words of pain move through my mind
    Sometimes it’s amusing what wisdom can reveal in the empty obscurity
    Once everything disappears from my glimpse
    Drops of flame lure my heart
    Forever and ever.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Moping In Solitude

    Moping In Solitude

    Moping in solitude
    Loyalty and pleasure
    And a strange state of daze
    It was neither plain nor fair
    Yet as I sat alone
    A weary heart desiring to go
    So lost at last
    I’m alone in everything
    With dreams made of light
    Before the eternal death
    Suffering the time with faith
    Discovering absurdities and disappointment

    Moping in solitude,
    Every time I woke up
    And it would be a happy day
    I walk around and fancy
    It seems so little the pain I felt
    To think again about how people acted and thought
    The world is up to see an end
    And I’ll see where I am going
    The reason I have the capability to do so
    One moment, of course, would be enough
    Then know not even a day of desire
    All would be easy but disgrace

    Moping in solitude
    Not looking for any doubt
    I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
    I found another smile today from the night
    Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
    Over and over again
    On a pleasant highway
    There was not even one reason to stay
    But the road has gone high,
    And, of course, loneliness
    Where love grew dark
    While seeing smirking faces

    Moping in solitude
    Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
    A decadent comfort
    If the end would come
    Because I always knew what was now
    I shouldn’t care
    But listening to the last image
    That would be very pretty
    And yet it really cannot be known
    Of what kind of things
    I must seem to reach out too far
    Beyond any limit and imagination.

    I might envision my defeat
    Loyal to my dreams
    And always lost in the maze of discomfort
    Always hated but never forgotten
    The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
    I will never conform to others’ will.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Solemn Silence

    A Solemn Silence

    A solemn silence in a terrific isolation
    An ocean of ice and fire
    An assembly of anguish and vanity
    Sadness and despondency
    Stars and clouds swirl at every blast of the winds
    Being encompassed in darkness
    A tumultuous remembrance leaves me
    listless and silent
    Now in the night
    And still
    I’ve lived a distant life
    Far from me
    When I was alone
    Where no one is so free
    Which might have changed
    Many times
    Years
    Too suddenly as well as never

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Where all around, my thoughts are bound
    Even if there is a sound
    Silent souls sink into a dim and sweet lake
    The sea waves advance like ancient mountains
    Calm and still lingering in the snow
    Many earthly ghouls float in the aether
    My potion of delirium and defeat
    In an incessant struggle with logic and treacherousness
    What could I be able to leave forever
    Wandering in the infinite dispersion of my emotions
    Getting lost and pretending to find myself
    One of the several versions

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Travelling and losing the path
    In a labyrinth of shattered mirrors and illusions
    Once the discovery is sparkling with dark hues
    I encounter the truth and dismay
    In the loss of beliefs and resolutions
    On a dark and still night
    When the only noise comes from the wind flying through the leaves
    At the dawn of a longly forgotten place
    The clouds seem suddenly collide and burn
    Through the depths of my heart
    A solitary sky had bled away
    In a thousand years of dread
    Amidst the frozen lights

    A solemn silence of the night
    It is like winter after dusk
    The past had gone far away
    All the seasons will blossom and die
    Before the sun hath gone
    At the end of time
    A dream of spiritual passions
    The secret of vanity
    The mystery of a dream
    Once lost forever
    In the immensity of the void
    When a distant wind blasts
    A new spring of every thought begins
    And a realm of starry glimmers
    Lighting the sunset sky
    Beneath the mountains’ stillness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A frail and lonely dismay of the night
    Tinged like a tiny soul of light
    At the edges of the universe
    Waiting for its memorable sight
    Standing alone in a silent deadlock
    The heart that seems so close to being so sad
    There is no way more and our lives and joy
    Never begin what is about never to die
    Love is created as an eternal wisdom

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In silent long-moving years
    Made of pains that cannot be revealed
    Would it be a dream to lose?
    A utopia that the world has never known
    I had looked back in stillness
    The quietness of some tree
    Where all the dreams abound
    And idyll will never cease to succumb
    To the grief and solitude

    A frail and lonely dismay
    I’ll never know who I was
    But only the sadness I feel
    And where are my vestiges
    To be hurled away in the cold blast
    Again and nevermore
    A sudden fear reappears
    Bleeding tears are far as memories
    And now I do not need anymore
    No doubt, once happiness got lost.

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In life, a defeat will never be new
    But I still live embracing habits
    Until love might give strength to convey
    Life comes today in time
    And everything must fade away
    Sweet songs of hope and dismay
    Everything pierces a feeble heart
    Being another daytime like another year

    A frail and lonely dismay
    It should be a phantom
    Descending in the fleeting night
    Twixt its own soul’s delight
    It might drive me too fierce
    As well as it may appear
    Afar
    Like in a vision
    Before it fades again
    Whenever life is at peace with the truth
    So, no longer there would be an end
    As long as every dash would be gone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Echo Of A Broken Dream

    The Echo Of A Broken Dream

    The echo of a broken dream
    Is the sky’s vast light
    Which is rising in winter’s rain
    From the flight of little birds
    A song to drink and dance
    It can be heard faraway
    Thinking about time and failure
    So short life to regret
    Unending and unlimited endeavours for life’s delight
    When dreams come
    What might be lost could be found
    But long is the path of mistakes and struggles
    Never well-known enough to prevent distress and anguish
    In sleepless nights something and nothing has been revealed
    It always began the creation
    Destroying and creating
    By chance and love
    Like no more devotion would be granted like before
    Each thought of desire would be loyal and engraved
    Reading the infinite source of darkness
    And still enjoying every strive and pang
    In the hope of living inside an untamed soul
    Never like before
    It would become a gloomy and arduous heart

    The echo of a broken dream
    The sea of darkness is blasting
    Now that the night has come
    Harkening to the wind
    Whenever the wildness of the sea is fearless and indomitable
    The fallen souls have drifted into a slumber time
    Sighing along the cliff of the abyss
    Never seen to this day what it might not be quested
    A beautiful forsaken tale would be a lavish obscure dream
    A wonder and a marvel
    Sunken down into a remote universe
    Since the eternity
    It has always been there for me
    And always will be
    With no guesses or questions about life
    I fell down into the chasm of the time
    When it is believed to cast away the darkness and shadows
    With the loss of eternity
    Whilst everything was bound together inside a hidden and blissful oasis
    Every kind of dream was being offered like some joyful lie
    Sweet like poison and bitter like truth
    Like those revelations that will never be disclosed
    And desires would be offered as secret snares

    The echo of a broken dream
    Which lived forever in the abysm of the sea
    And was made of divine light
    New eternal dimensions are recreated
    The vision of a single and lonely night
    The world would start all over again and again
    Until all the clouds of darkness would end
    And the wonders of harmony and hymns would be created
    The world’s clout will last forever
    Truly and devotedly
    Days depart and perish
    Every longing will convey a new route of deception and authenticity
    Change delivers wisdom in the everlastingness
    When only one new lifetime is allowed to become true
    Love is death, love is untamed, love is betrayal, and love is life
    Being trapped in a new belief
    Acting to set free every uncoveted desire inside the soul
    And wishing to find a place in the universe
    If everything could materialise in an abode with faithful devotion
    There would be only bliss and an ever-lasting delight in life
    Certitude and suspicion could obliterate each other
    Probity and passion would be devoted eternally

    The echo of a broken dream
    Stalled so perfectly in my mind and once more disappeared
    As forgotten for ages
    Such a feeling of authentic dismay
    I disclosed the evening
    Lingering for darkness and nightmares
    A soft touch of sharp thorns
    Although pain and tears could flood my heart
    So many times
    I have been destined
    And magnificence would be a journey of delight and bliss
    Nothing else
    After my soul wandered lost in torment and misery
    With no more passion
    Dreaming that in a swoon
    My heart would always glow
    Not at all because of pleasure
    But striving to return to its primordial harmony.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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