Waiting for my dreams to wither like dry flowers
Constantly sinking into the oblivion of sadness and dizziness
Unaware of what could happen to my soul
Having lost every hope to save my dreams
Finding my sweet haven in my darkest grief
Slowly avoiding thinking and surrendering to the course of my vicious fate
I let the ocean waves swallow me into the chasms of unconsciousness
To avoid seeing the reflection of my memories in mirrors of shady dismay
The silence of the night lulled me to a deep slumber where I finally could feel peace and gaiety
My idle heart became a frozen stone full of sand and dust
Whilst I wandered in the desolate forest of my fears
Waiting for my dreams to be my only consolation
For I was aware of the evanescence of the stars gleaming in the night sky
Indeed, every single anguish of mine became a tiny leaf that the cold breeze lifted away from my gaze
So quickly was flowing my existence like a tumultuous river that I lost the sense of time
And I remained therefore languid in a garden without flowers or trees
A garden of darkness and shadows where no mortal could find me
My foremost hideaway in which I could flee the hideous threats from the world of reality
I didn’t pay attention to the consequences of my enchanted illusions
Dread and cynicism accompanied me at every step as unwelcome and unavoidable guests
Secrets were locked within me and only nonsense was guiding me in the eternal gloom of my seclusion
In vain I strove to reach out to the moonlight
Nevertheless, I had been cast away too far
Surrounded by nothing but loneliness and bleakness
I was left crying tears made of madness and turmoil.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: illusion
-
Waiting For My Dreams
-
Ensnared In My Own Obsessions
Ensnared in my own obsessions, tricked by my own illusions, I wandered, lost in the abyss of my fantasies. Nightmares were lulling me to sleep on a winter night, while soft whispers were revealing terrible truths to me.
Time was slow like my heartbeat. I couldn’t cope with my anguish. It was a massive pain that devoured my heart constantly and slowly. Slow was the time. Slow was the consistency of all my pangs inflicted on me.
Far away, I couldn’t perceive any clear horizon because respite was cast away from me. I could have cried; I could have screamed; I could have broken free from every cruel distress, no mortal soul would have ever noticed it, in the realm of sugary masquerades and coffee goblets.
Overwhelmed by the sense of oblivion and nothingness, I begged my fate to make me forget my bitter and sad memories, in an attempt to save myself from destruction. Teardrops of crystal ran across my face until they fell into darkness in the absolute silence of the eternal night.
And I finally sipped the very last drop from my toxic goblet. I could feel my heart fracture in all its power, and my body shake with bliss and delight. I embodied my decay fiercely, and flames engulfed me impetuously.
Shadows captured me viciously with their menacing claws, ripping my heart to fierce sparkles of passion. Shivers of euphoria and panic coursed through my mind, and my body was under the influence of a magic spell.
The void claimed me as if I were a creature of its tragic realm. That immortal doom seized me in a dungeon where no starlight could penetrate. I hesitated and sighed in the midst of the nocturnal haze, which hid the deception of my dreams.
Ensnared by my own obsessions, fooled by my own delusions, I strolled in the chasm of my daydreams, although I was confused. I couldn’t feel loneliness anymore because of my imagination. I couldn’t discern anymore what was real and what was not.
I strove to feel calm and so much wished to be a star glowing in the sky among clouds and moons.
I aimed to be infinity and emptiness. My heart became a labyrinth of frenzy and murkiness. I was longing to be taken away from my hallucinations.And I wailed to the firmament a multitude of times over, though I knew that no creature was willing to hear my laments. Wicked ghosts cast a spell over me, mesmerising me, and I surrendered to their shadiness, mistaking it for deliverance.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Night
The night opens my heart, made of tragedies and memories. Silence remains merely an echo of my anguish.
Sweet is the thought of losing oneself in dreams when they become eternal whispers. The subtle play of revelations and allusions is a gentle kiss of love and passion that time does not disturb.
Light and shadow merge into one another, in an absolute love. The flames of the heart feed on the solitude of the soul beneath the starlight that no longer shines to illuminate, but to recall lost memories.
Endless games between illusion and wonder hide in the darkness of light. My sorrowful and shadowed heart has fallen into the chaos of eternal torpor.
I am a volcano of fire and chaos, surrounded by shadows of anguish and restlessness. My guardians are magical crows and silent hares.
In my solitude, melancholy and confusion are my faithful spectres that never abandon me.
Drowsy and dazed, I find refuge in my silent torpor: the distorted mirrors are the signs of my resignation.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Abyss Of Nothingness
The abyss of nothingness swallowed all my fractured desires
The fear that gripped my heart and that sense of calm, of stability that took hold of my life made me a helpless and insignificant creature, invisible to mortals, yet at the same time the target of their cruelties.How much I wished to be different, to be accepted, and to be treated with great respect for who I truly was. But in truth, my entire life was a series of piercing endurance of inhuman suffering, humiliations, cruelties against me, deceit, mockery, traps, attempts to undermine my being, violence, and all the most barbaric and terrifying acts against my soul and myself.
My life had not been a normal existence—one that no one could have understood. My experience was not a common one. I had lived through a time when my dream had encapsulated me in an ideal, evanescent, and ethereal reality. No one could see me, especially during that period of apparent death. Yes, because for ten long years I had not lived—I had fallen into a deep and fatal dream, isolated from everything and everyone. I had built my own kingdom of dreams and illusions, into which, day by day, I entrusted my very self.
All the hourglasses in my dwelling had come to a halt, and the flow of time had lost all meaning. The disconnection from the truth that surrounded me had become both a tendency and a habit—one that turned into law. Indeed, I had become like a crystal frozen in time, like a statue untouched by its passing. I carried within me that immaterial sense of my heart, trapped in a confining aura.
I no longer cared what society thought, nor what people might perceive of me. And so it remains. For my rarity and my strangeness are imperceptible to any human heart. I was accused of things that never were, of things my heart could not even fathom. Everything had vanished like soap bubbles. Nothing remained—only bitter memories or sorrowful ones that dragged me down into the depths of an untouchable abyss.
Delicate and fragile as I was, I had lost the ability to love, to admire, and to obey mortals. I no longer saw them as similar to me, but rather, I perceived other beings—creatures who had no voice in the human condition—as kindred, as dear to me. And so it was that the abyss of nothingness possessed me, and it will always possess a part of my soul. For I belong to the emptiness and to the darkness.
Elisabetta -
Infinite Stairs Of Waiting
Infinite stairs of waiting
The more I wait, the more I feel trapped in the dungeon of anguish.
The more I climbed the stairs, the more I tried to ascend,
the more it seemed I was descending downward with no result.
All of this made me frustrated
because I could not reach my goal.In my stillness I found myself,
But at the same time, I lost a part of me.
It was as if everything I had learned
I had lost and forgotten,
and everything I did not know
I had unconsciously acquired.Confused and bewildered in a place of nowhere
I strived to believe in my dreams but all I could do was fall from the stairsIt was a game of illusion and reality.
I had ceased to discern what seemed deception from what was truth.
Both had blended together.
It was as if there were no longer any meaning,
and no longer any need to possess the domain of wisdom and knowledge.
Everything had shattered into the abyss of ignorance and madness.And I proceeded on a thin thread between creation and destruction.
My perplexities and hopes echoed as if they resounded through enigmatic structures, without meaning and expectations.Spirits that I could not discern, that I could not distinguish, whispered to me encouragements to pursue. But every time I fell and plunged into another flight of stairs, they laughed, almost as if to make fun of me — and to mock my inexperience and incompetence.
In solitude I found myself lost, and there I languished like a creature from other worlds, indulging in my languor and melancholy; I was certain that I was towards myself and my image no longer had reflections in any mirror. The staircase was truly infinite like a steep ascent without end; there was neither a beginning nor an end, everything was an infinite perpetuity of distress and anguish.
Infinite stairs of waiting were my dwelling for eternity, and there I had to… to… I didn’t know anymore.
Elisabetta -
The Abyss Of Desolation And Affliction
The abyss of desolation and affliction appeared to me in a dream.
I could not tell if it was a hallucination
or some malevolent spirit that had caught me
in the torpor of my nightly slumber.Spectres appeared to me, agile and winged,
Their claws etched marks upon my skin,
As if to inscribe arcane messages
Beyond my mortal grasp to decode.
The moon shone bright and awe-inspiring above,
An eternal night enveloped all,
Where swirling clouds danced,
A solemn escort to those shadowy phantoms.Figures cloaked in hidden mantles and hoods,
As if unwilling to reveal their names,
Lay inert along a river—
At times, it was a still pond, and at times, it was a shimmering lagoon.I felt a weight of oppression and annihilation,
As if all my feelings and desires
Had been obliterated in the presence
Of such a bleak and haunting landscape.I could not feel joy or enthusiasm
At the very moment I realised
That the slightest hope might be mistaken for illusion,
Denying me the grace to surrender
To my senses, to my subconscious.I walked with uncertain steps,
So unsteady was the path before me.
No clear horizon met my gaze,
Only shadows stretching into the unknown.Having firmly shut the doors of the past,
I had renounced all that belonged to that world,
Memories included — or at least I tried to deny them.
Yet certain ghosts of old, like skeletons risen from nightmares,
Pursued me wherever I went,
With steady, relentless steps.
And I, breath held tight,
Sought refuge in that realm of shadowy spirits.Monsters of a time long lost,
They watched me slyly from their hiding places,
Plotting behind my back a possible attack,
A grasp for power, as if I were a helpless creature,
Ready to fall into their claws.
But truly, I knew well that my heart belonged to myself,
And no one nor nothing could taint it
With their corruption and decay.
Elisabetta -
The Golden Mirage
The golden mirage appeared in front of me
I couldn’t perceive if I were dreaming or awake
But I could sense the magnificence of my vision
As I forgot all my anxieties and fears, I proceeded on my path
The deception of my fantasy could have betrayed me
Because it felt so tangible and discernibleI chased delusions and I couldn’t discern between reality and dream
I had lost all my purposes, wandering without any directions
My unintentional existence was a chimera
Just a delusional journey destined to end in the valley of desolation
In that barren stillness, I couldn’t find any awareness or hope
My delusional adventure conducted me into the abyss of despairI had lost everything and the enchanting, tainted spell transformed into a ruin
Distorted reflections of myself shimmered in giant golden mirrors
Sparkling in all their lush illusion beneath the silent stare of the stars
Every dream that blossomed in my imagination became a stone flower
Everything I ever desired was reduced to crumbles of dust
I felt the awareness that I had fallen victim to my own betrayalEvery piece of my heart had been burned like an inextinguishable flame
Wicked ghouls watched me from afar, sending me missives imbued with scorn and disdain
While a defending silence resounded all over the surreal realm of gold and darkness
Where absurdities and oddities governed as capricious rulers
In this kingdom of gilded trees and silver moons, there were no directions or tickling clocks
Everything seemed inert but also topsy-turvyMy sleepless sanity surrendered to madness
Overwhelmed by the outrage of my own fractured mind
I wept behind a veil made of ephemeral lies
The stars conspired against me, singing enigmas and riddles I couldn’t solve
Making me feel dizzy and desperate
I was a powerless creature in the realm of the golden mirage
I had become a mirage myself.
Elisabetta -
Gilded Illusions
Gilded illusions visited my dreams
In the eternal night that enveloped me like a diaphanous veil
I lingered far from every mortal sight
In my dwelling made of stars and dreamsThe moon was bleeding silver onto withered blossoms
And I was a phantom wandering through chambers carved from bone
Among candles that wept in crystal flocks
While silence deepened in this dark dungeon of memoriesEerie whispers of the dead rose from broken mirrors
From each cracked and gloomy surface emerged a spirit of the past
Their hearts were cold and hollow for their ancient dismay
And their anguish echoed until the stars of the night firmamentWhenever I aimed to reach for the stars
They disappeared into the emptiness
Leaving me alone in my despair and decay
While the striking of time split the silence like a bladeNo hesitation could help me to reacquire my wisdom
I knew that I had lost my freedom to embrace a life of madness and turmoil
Nothing could have altered this realm of death and decadence
Every divine bliss was destroyed by my fateI belonged to the realm of dust and decay
I was reduced to following the darkness
The more I wept, the tighter drew the chains of my bondage
All my gilded illusions faded away in the voidSurrounded by the hollowness of dilapidated sarcophagi
I heard lullabies of sorrow that hovered like ghouls
Shadows long departed from the realm of life
They waited to converge on the abyss of the underworldMy chains transformed into silver and gold serpents
They became my guardians in this surreal world ruled by illusion and deception
Crowded by hissing ghosts and perpetual twilight
And in this sublime dejection, I found my refuge.
Elisabetta -
Endless Despair
Endless despair gripped my heart
Piercing it with swords and daggers
Fracturing the path I was walking
Each step was a struggle against the poundage of my grief and sorrowThe sky above me was now a dark and endless void
Where the sun had long since surrendered its passion
Leaving only the cold embrace of night
A reminder of obliteration and demiseShattered fragments of dreams clung to my soul
Their edges were sharp and slashed my heart
Memories of bliss dissolved like smoke
Vanishing before I could hold themI reached for something but nothing remained
Indeed, my hands met only the emptiness
A nothingness that mocked every effort of mine
A silence that devoured my voiceIn the depths of this abyss
I wondered if escape was even possible
But I became aware that I was doomed to wander this desolation endlessly
Forever lost and eternally brokenEndless despair destroyed my heart
Crushing it to ashes that the wind scattered into the emptiness
I sought solace in oblivion’s embrace
A cold grip that seemed to release meEach moment of stillness only exacerbated my misery
Since even the quietness was full of screams and outcries
No glimmer of light teased the edges of my sight
Every beauty and hope vanished as quickly as it appeared in my imaginationI was left with nothing but a bitter taste of what I could never acquire
The hours crawled like chains across my heart
Each tick was a reminder of all I could never reclaim
The past and the future were both my dungeons of distressI remained trapped in a perpetual desperation
I felt myself dissolving into the night
As the ghouls of this realm were obliterating what little remained of me
And I became nothingA sigh lost to the wind
I didn’t know what I was anymore
I felt forgotten and my spirit was broken
Relinquished among the shadows of the dead.
Elisabetta -
Haunting Dreams
Haunting dreams devoured my mind during my tormented nights
When the wind didn’t pass through my hair
And the only sound I could hear was the whisper of the black roses entwined with my hair
My gaze was staring at the moonless night sky
Hoping for some star to appear before me
But I was alone while wandering in the dark forest of my nightmares
Where no creature or spirit emerged in the thick mist of darknessAs soon as the moon arose from behind dark clouds
Its pale glimmer stroked my face like petals of roses
I felt the shadows surround me while dancing like phantoms
They touched my gown with their icy claws
The tragedy of my existence manifested into a dark fantasy
Decadence became my castle of gloomy phantasmagoria
Desolation became my alcove where I felt dearly cherishedI fell in love with my hallucinations
Trembling with lust and desire despite their gloomy embrace
Every trace of wisdom had parted from me
I had drunk from the goblet of insanity and amnesia
I was finally a creature of the realm of haunting dreams
Protected in my eternal slumber, I felt secure
The infinity belonged to me and I was destined to never perishWhimsical was my mood and mutable like the wind in the springtime
Fear didn’t belong to me anymore because I was a part of this macabre kingdom of chimaeras
Not even my name dared to echo in that sacred silence
I now dwelled as a requiem in the ravine of eternity
I was cradled by gloominess and crowned by illusion
I was no longer alive in my haunting dreams
A bloom in oblivion and a ghost in the grave of forgotten stars
Eclipsed by my own dark fantasies, I vanished into the hymn of endless dusk.
Elisabetta