Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Category: Poetry

Poetry is one of my passions. In my blog, I will publish poems which I wrote. Hence I opened a separate category for poetry.  

During the years, I’ve read Italian, English, American, and French poems because, during my childhood, I learned those three languages. Only recently, I started writing poetry which I never wanted to publish. I believe that it is very personal to publish them. 

Although I’m a physicist, I started to read poetry during high school, mainly in Italian and English. Only home I was reading French books. Indeed, the French language and literature were not in my school program.

Writing poetry is one of the most intimate ways to express feelings and moods. Time to time, I will publish poems. 

  • The Chains Of The Past

    The Chains Of The Past

    The chains of the past captivated me
    Placing me down on the cold soil of the garden of tears
    A place where no hope or wish was granted
    A dungeon of anguish and dismay that became my eternal realm

    An initiation ritual pierced my heart and made it bleed
    My blood nourished the flowers of betrayal and deception
    until they drained me of all strength
    Leaving me fainting on the cold soil among thorns and sharp stones

    Suddenly I felt that all my fears left my heart
    And I became the representation of numbness and apathy
    My body was as bloodless as an inanimate pebble
    Silent like a grave and dark as the night

    My soul parted whispering a farewell
    My heart was pale as ashes
    Every spark of curiosity and liveliness faded away
    Leaving me entombed in a deep slumber from which I would never awaken

    The chains of the past were a noose around my neck
    Drops of poison were falling on my face from the fountain of oblivion
    Longings and regrets entwined a chain of tears and blood around my heart
    A stupor was in my mind and weakness overwhelmed me

    My memories from the past became my hunting nightmares
    I couldn’t escape from them and hence I was lying helpless in the cold soil of the garden of death
    All I could hear were soft sighs and cries of despair
    Underneath the immense darkness of the night sky

    A curtain of haze blurred my blank gaze
    As the wind wove moans into shadows
    No dawn would ever find my eternal dusk
    No voice would unsettle my spectral silence

    Unable to find my way out of misery and sorrow
    I descended into the deepest abyss of darkness
    Becoming an unknown wraith in this garden of death
    Where even time had turned to dust
    And then only echoes of forsaken laments remained.
    Elisabetta

  • The Death In Front Of Me

    The Death In Front Of Me

    The death in front of me manifested in the night
    During my solitary stroll in the gelid streets
    Where no one could have saved me
    Surrounded by the whispers of dead spirit and madness

    The death inside myself amused me without any doubt
    The fantasies and memories that constantly would have hunted me
    They disappeared in the emptiness of the night
    And I alone had to face all my fears and anguishes
    Without any help or comfort

    Conscious of my unfair fate, I had to seek refuge in my inner thoughts
    Where I have could definitely be myself
    With no remorse or regrets
    Aiming to the most pure, and beautiful realm of my dreams

    A realm of visions and dreams was conceived by my weirdness and bizarre imagination
    Uncontrolled emotions pervaded my body until my bones
    And I didn’t feel anymore the frigid wind that stroked me
    I couldn’t even realise in which reality I was living in

    The darkness and the absolute silence were my loyal companions
    Although all the bizarre fantasies in my mind were always making noise
    And all I could see was the death in front of me
    Waiting for me to fall into decay
    I ended up in my dungeon, from where I never could have escaped

    My heart was entirely lost and full of longings
    And I couldn’t find any reasonable wisdom
    So much I was mislaid in my realm of illusions
    That I couldn’t see other realities than mine

    Nevertheless, when I was awakened from my slumber
    I felt the pain of my suffering and the transience of my imagination
    Yearning for a long-lost serenity that I never had
    A utopia made of ethereal beauty and love

    The death in front of me strove to possess me
    But it never had the chance to seize me
    Instead, I slipped through its grasp among the several shadows of the night
    Elisabetta

  • Soft Daggers Of Dismay

    Soft Daggers Of Dismay

    Soft daggers of dismay pierced my heart
    While I was helpless in my slumber
    Like a magic spell enticing me with its sweet melancholy
    I abided to embrace resignation as a matter of reality

    Burning flames destroyed all my words
    And the only thing that remained was silence
    And absolute silence in the darkness of the night
    While the cold wind of indifference pinned me like a butterfly in a cloud

    Many thoughts and memories made me realise that I was raving over nothing
    Because nothing really mattered but my distorted idea of reality
    Leading me astray in a garden of thorns and hollow trees
    Where I found my inner leisure and despondency

    The pluralism of my essence overwhelmed me
    It was like to be conscious of a fragmentation of the soul
    Concealing myself behind the fountain of unknown
    I embraced my fate as an undefined creature of the ethereal world of fantasies

    Soft daggers of dismay pierced my heart
    Making it bleed into a garden of crimson flowers
    Where the alluring scent bewildered my senses
    Leading the way at the edge of an abysm
    A chasm of devastation and death

    Crying and screaming
    I remained at the bottom of a gorge
    My teardrops formed an impetuous river that swept me away
    Until I found myself senseless and confused
    As I was reborn in a new life

    The soft daggers of my dismay turned into thorns surrounding my heart
    The sweetness of this pang made me feel a flower rooted in a forest of nightmares
    Where the faded sound of cries echoed in the nocturnal landscape
    Exhaustion overcame me

    Writing my feelings in ink forged from tears and blood
    I carved every single letter on a parchment of memories
    Remembrances emerged like ghosts lingering around me
    Striving to choke me with their pointed fingers
    While I fell into a profound slumber
    To never wake up and face the reality

    Hence I lay in a garden of crimson flowers
    Where nonsense was the only decree
    And phantasmagoria was the only truth
    While the whispers of the abyss lulled me into a forever oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • Nonsense In The Evening

    Nonsense In The Evening

    Nonsense in the evening
    Sad and apathetic, I abandoned myself to nonsense
    As I was supposed to be someone with no state of mind
    Indeed, I had no aims or plans

    I felt like a dead leaf falling from a tree
    I felt like a pinwheel that spins empty under the influence of the wind
    Was I supposed to feel something other than discontent?
    It might be as I was listening to the birds singing in the tree

    And so the evening passed like the flowing of a quiet river
    Unperturbed by what was around me
    Because the abyss of anguish was enticing me
    Trapping me in a dungeon of sorrow and dismay
    As I had the certitude that there was no hope for me

    Dreaming and deluding myself has always dragged me into a labyrinth of darkness and decay
    A storm of turmoil invested me
    Leaving me astray
    Faraway from any horizon of sanity

    Emptiness became my realm of fancy
    Although I have always aspired to belong to a different kingdom
    Where the dust of stars would fall over me
    Enlighting me with their comforting and candid glow

    The towering and outstanding sight of my nightmares was hypnotising me
    And I could not avoid to flee from them
    As they cast a wicked spell on me
    To eternally suffer from all the most ominous hoaxes

    Shuttered windows were in front of me
    The windows to my dreams and desires were cruelly sealed
    Nonsense in the evening was my special date
    No stars were present in my nocturnal sky
    No moon was there to wait for me

    All my sparkling wishes faded into the infinite decadence
    Because I belonged only to decadence and I longed to be surrounded by dust of decay
    The decay of my wisdom and certainty was the only certitude I cherished in my treasure chest
    And all that could remain in my heart was nonsense in the evening of my day.
    Elisabetta

  • Awaken By Nightmares

    Awaken By Nightmares

    Awaken by nightmares at nightfall
    I surrender to the sense of my fragility and languor
    Condemned to wander perpetually in the forest of darkness
    With no clear direction to follow

    Stroked by the gelid indifference of humankind
    I am lured to the realm of my dreams and delusions
    To avoid facing reality and shun all conformism that brings me down
    Choosing to stop hiding my emotions and let them flow like a winter rainfall

    I decided to live on chimaeras and desires
    Being determined that there is no impossibility
    But everything is possible and feasible
    As long as I belong to the world of dreams

    Awaken by nightmares amid the night
    My will leaves me and I become a paradox and absurdity
    Because madness and folly strive to entangle me in their labyrinth with no escapes
    Where I am bound to the whims of my fancies

    I dissolve into the ethereal and I see that all my visions and dreams are real
    And now the world where I live is magnificent and exquisite
    I don’t feel pain, nor anguish, nor fear
    Everything is beautiful and nonsense as it must be

    When we greet and wish each other Good Morning or Good Evening
    What do we really wish for?
    Do we mean to continue our day as regular and similar to the previous one?
    Or do we aim for something more spectacular and extravagant?

    Most of the people live like monads
    Always connected but disconnected and indifferent
    Always connected but lonely and sad
    They say, “Dress to impress,” but I would rather confirm that people wear masks just to avoid being themselves and exposing their flaws

    Do we keep ourselves alive just to survive or to live?
    I never understood the humankind mindset
    It could be I’m not from this world but from another realm
    Impressive would be to see humans show and manifest their real emotions and impulses
    After all, we should all be awakened by nightmares to live our dreams.
    Elisabetta

  • Desolation In The Midst Of The Night

    Desolation In The Midst Of The Night

    Desolation in the midst of the night awakens me
    Leaving in a gorge of anguish and decadence
    Melancholy and sadness are my favourite cronies
    Guiding me through the labyrinth of foolishness

    Dreams and delusions entwine under the dim light of the night sky
    Where the stars hide behind a forest the clouds
    Waiting for a storm to arrive
    While I keep disguising myself in a garden of glowing flowers

    The freezing wild wind shakes me
    Until I lose control of my heart flying away from me
    Getting exhausted from my endless wandering
    I stop searching for a direction and I fall into an eternal slumber

    The realm of dreams and impossibilities is my kingdom
    Where I can be myself without explanations
    Where I can fly from one flower to another one
    Unconcerned about time and fleeting realities

    Becoming a fairy in a magic garden nothing can touch me
    And I sing all the most beautiful melodies together with birds and butterflies
    The glowing flowers are my home

    Poetry lyrics become my only way to express myself
    A sweet decadence and a gothic scent cast a spell over me
    And I sing all my secret poems to the stars that watch over me
    And the horizon becomes clear with dim lights and glowing colours

    Desolation in the midst of the night became my portal to another world
    A world of beauty, fantasy and wonders
    Where all dreams are a reality and no illusion is possible
    Because everything is possible in my dreams even touching the stars

    In my cotton candy world, I can fly high until I touch the clouds and let a blizzard carry me far away
    While the wind strokes my hair, revealing the secrets of the stars
    My castle is in a labyrinth of velvet darkness and silver mist
    where fragments of long-forgotten dreams waltz with the midnight muses
    In an eternal embrace of night and day.
    Elisabetta

  • Random Thoughts

    Random Thoughts

    Random thoughts and memories hit me like thunders
    And my fears grasp me with their claws
    Feeling dizzy and unconscious
    I cannot control my descent into doom and decay

    More confused than ever
    I try to understand the unreasonable reasons of the fate
    Disappointments and merriments entwine in my heart
    And I can only cry and scream at the sky
    Where the stars and moon seem careless to my pains

    My future destiny is obscure and uncertain
    The unknown is my senseless fate
    Rage and regret take me to their dungeon
    Striving to forget my past is not my strength

    Words flow in my mind as well as emotions flow inside my heart
    Truth and lies are fused together, and reality becomes just an illusion
    Illusions and dreams became my reality
    Where I can have a safe haven all for me

    Walking alone in the darkness among strangers
    I feel like I am not really human but a creature belonging to another realm
    A realm of fantasy and chimaeras where everything is beautiful and sublime
    And no fear is necessary to survive

    Having always felt like an outsider and a weird person all my lifelong
    I always preferred to stay in silence and avoid too much noise
    I never loved social gatherings with self-introductions and explanations
    I’ve never felt understood or seen inside as I really am

    Hiding in the dark shadows of the night has been my best choice
    Hiding from everyone and everything
    A nocturnal creature as I am
    I love concealing myself
    Fleeting into the realm of phantasmagoria

    I am made of whispers and delusions
    I am made of strength and weakness
    I am made of love and hate
    I am made of stardust and dust of decay

    Random thoughts chase me everywhere I go
    They hunt me fiercely and I cannot flee from them
    Stars seem to fall over me
    Hitting and piercing my heart.
    Elisabetta

  • An Enchanting Spell

    An Enchanting Spell

    An enchanting spell is waiting for me in the realm of my dreams
    Where my beloved is always with me
    To be forever with him

    Missing him constantly as much as a flower misses its sun
    And the only thing that remains are just memories
    Sweet remembrances of him

    If you could feel my love for you
    If you only could imagine that I have you always in my heart
    If you could be close to me now

    You disappeared and I don’t see you anymore
    I see you only in my dreams
    Where you are forever with me

    So I’m writing this poem for you
    For you only, who probably never will read it
    As a song of my love and devotion for you

    Sometimes I wonder if we meet someone by chance or a reason
    And overthinking all over again I can see all my life in front of me
    I realise that I’ve lived several lives

    Nothing is lost that is not meant to be lost
    It seemed that fate decides everything in the end
    I feel a sense of abandonment and surrendering, giving up every control of my heart

    And I live upstairs
    I live on the roof as I told you in my dreams
    Because I love to touch the sky and the clouds
    Because I love to touch the stars and the darkness of the night

    An enchanting spell has power over me
    A bewitching spell that you cast on me
    Magic is invisible only to those who underestimate it

    And so I live in the shadows when you are not there
    Waiting for your light to illuminate my life
    Like a magnificent and sublime shining star
    Because you represent my entire universe

    I cannot stop fantasising about you as a foolish girl
    I cannot stop thinking about you since my heart belongs only to you
    Indeed, you are my wonderful dream and enchanting delight.
    Elisabetta

  • Lost In My Thoughts

    Lost In My Thoughts

    Lost in my thoughts like a leaf is carried away by the wind
    In my garden of forbidden fruits and poisonous flowers
    Noticing all the colours and scents in their variety
    As I approach them, they reveal their secrets to me

    Memories stroke me like soft petals
    While I dream about the infinity of the universe
    As I explore the city streets among light and darkness
    Contemplating the sublimity of the stars

    In my loneliness, my only companion is my shadow, following me everywhere I go
    And I slowly realised that all my existence had been an illusion
    A delusional dream that enclosed me in a crystal cage
    And enslaved by my obsessions, I strive to survive

    I always find myself thinking about him, even though it has been a while since I last saw him
    His smile and voice made me melt like a snowflake under the sun of his beautiful soul
    Crying because I miss him, although I don’t know him
    Being so far yet so close, I surrender to my senses, bedazzled by love and frightened by the unknown

    I feel like a red flame bird soaring high in the sky
    Reaching for the stars in a firmament of diamonds and corals
    Only to fall down into the dim chasm of my anguish
    Where all my teardrops had created a blustery ocean

    My name is carved in every star as soon as I touch them
    And lost in my thoughts, I wish that my desires may be realised
    Delusional and silly, I’ve always been waiting for blessings and happiness
    Although all that I could see was an empty desert of sad desolation

    Remaining awake and dazzled, I try to realise that all my existence didn’t make any sense
    My unique hope relies on my dreams and illusions
    Therefore, I feel aghast by my disdainful fears and insecurities
    While I get lost in my dangerous thoughts.
    Elisabetta

  • Victimised By My Desires

    Victimised By My Desires

    Victimised by my desires and love
    I try to detach from my heart’s impulses
    But it is useless because I am chained completely
    Like a prey of my own longings, craving for my soul

    I keep believing in my dreams and impossible chimeras
    Never breaking the chain of my own distress
    Trusting love and its cruel games
    A realm of beauty and deception

    Victimised by my desires and obsessions
    I get lost in my dreams where I feel safe and protected
    And I sing my song of love and self-destruction
    As a way to cast a spell over myself over and over again

    Alive and dead
    Happy and sad
    I fade away into the darkness of my life
    Becoming a victim of my emotions and weakness

    Every time that my dreams whisper lies to me
    I feel euphoric and powerful as I’m destined to a perpetual merriment
    Instead, I fall into the profound abyss of misery
    Where I compassionately cry crystal teardrops

    I never stop sighing in this valley of desolation
    As I’m permanently condemned to wander endlessly with no destination
    As I’m permanently condemned to never find peace in my innermost spirit

    Seized by cobwebs of love and impossibilities
    Abducted into secret alcoves of empty vows
    I surmise that my own delusions are real, mistaking them for truths
    And see only exquisite beauty in this world because I want to believe so

    In my dark chamber, I cry and sigh
    In my secret niche, I embrace oblivion
    Aware that nobody, absolutely nobody, thinks about me
    In this senseless existence, deprived of empathy

    Forlorn and disenchanted, I wait for the true love
    Although I’m sure I can feel it, and I can see it as a beautiful vision
    As I’m very foolish and ingenue, losing easily control of my feelings
    And I’m glad to fall into the trap of my longings
    And I’m delighted that I’m victimised by my desires.
    Elisabetta