Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: darkness

  • Lost In My Hallucinations

    Lost In My Hallucinations

    Lost in my hallucinations, seeking insanity and self-destruction. I made of self-loathing my eternal anthem and favourite melody. Listening to the noise of the light of the sun when it hit the petals of my flowers, I followed my own shadow in the green meadow of hope. Kneeling down I strove to protect myself from all that dazzling gleaming since I was made of darkness and decadence.

    Lies and illusions were the source of life for my soul which sought exclusively the sweet poison of deception. Wandering beneath a sad sky deprived of stars and moon, I couldn’t take control of my fears and turmoils, I forgot my name although it was carved on every stone I trampled on. Wildly led by my shattered hopes, I roamed astray into the wilderness of aborted dreams.

    Lost in my hallucinations, I was searching for myself and the sense of life while teardrops were marking imprints on my face. Memories sounded like melodies in my ears I couldn’t avoid facing them because they were like a thick cloud enfolding my heart. And words came to my mind like thunders in the middle of the night. The silent stillness soothed me slowly in my insomnia.

    I knew not what I was really and I never saw my reflection on any mirror. I was a stranger to myself and I never met any other creatures like me. I was utterly cast away, lost in the tides of my own desolation, wondering if I ever could have been different. The scent of death enticed me to follow a trail leading into an abyss of despair, where I could embrace my complete obliteration.

    Having lost my wisdom, I discovered a new shape of fictitious reality enticed to the absurd realm of fantasy. There I was not alive anymore but doomed to inexhaustible agony, where fortune frayed like a worn-out thread spun from the hands of forgotten deities. I was the manifestation of decline and defeat.
    Elisabetta

  • Wandering In Dark Chambers

    Wandering In Dark Chambers

    Wandering in dark chambers where the bones of my memories were hung
    I was bound by enchanting spells to be a lost soul in an endless realm of emptiness
    Speechless as I became, I was just a living tragedy
    And darkness was my humble and gloomy dwelling
    Where I could be nobody without pretending to fulfil my wishes

    Definitely, all my desires and dreams were annihilated like extinguished flames
    No shame and delusion could have carved my name in my fate
    Because in the end, I didn’t pay attention to what was happening outside that realm of self-destruction
    No one would have rescued me from that nightmare
    Misery and grief were my relentless shadows, following wherever I was proceeding

    Wandering in dark chambers of agony, I was left to bleed out my very soul
    Enduring the most agonizing of sufferings, betrayed by my ancient illusions
    Silly dreams that once deceived me had become my merciless torturers, from whom I could not flee
    Hiding in the depths of gloom, I avoided crossing others’ paths, limping like a wounded animal,
    after having shed my last tears
    Swaying in uncertainty and restlessness, I lie in decay, as I know that I’m destined to the eternal doom

    Faded visions stroked my heart and I had the certitude that nothing could be more possible but drinking the poison of my own illusions
    My heart is a ravine with a thirst for silent collapse with a collar made of misery and decay
    The tragedy of being was embedded into my essence and I shed tears
    The hushed fate misled me into a maze of dust and decline that I was not aware of
    The untold secrets of my past remained buried underneath the garden of chagrin and preordained to stay forever there
    And I kept wandering in the dark chambers of my unending descent.
    Elisabetta

  • The Tides Of Death

    The Tides Of Death

    The tides of death and despair devour me into their abyss. Intimidated, I let the cold ocean swallow me in its frightening chaos. Humiliation and surrender chained me to the ocean floor; under constraints, I couldn’t escape my doomed fate.

    And I felt nothing, absolutely nothing. So much so that I was devoid of my essence and true self
    In the midst of emptiness, I was the embodiment of decadence and death. Nothing anymore could have hurt me because I was definitely belonging to the realm of demise.

    The tides of death transformed me into a creature of the realm of destruction and nothingness. I was a spirit of the dark abysses and my words were made of absolute silence. Betrayed by my dreams, I realised that I had no hope of staying alive and accepting my end.

    My heart had stopped beating and I was depleted like a withered rose. Nothing could have revived me and so much I strived to hold and cherish my desires, in the desperate endeavour to conquer my feeble spirit. The marine soil trembled under my faint body and opened into a dreadful gorge.

    Terror was the only emotion filling my heart. The distress was so brutal that it tore me apart. All that remained to me was to sing a silent song of desolation and defeat while collapsing under the weight of sorrow. I was all alone in the chasm of darkness and death, and nothing could have saved me.

    The tides of death possessed me and I couldn’t rebel against them. I was like a buried flower, dead before it was supposed to die. No tears rescued me from my deep despair. No slumber could have made me feel better. In that perpetual torpor, I was destined to remain for eternity and beyond.
    Elisabetta

  • In The Shadows

    In The Shadows

    In the shadows, where the cold breeze embraced me, I listened to the soft whispers of lost hopes betrayed by illusions. In the castle of deception, every fantasy could have been written in the book of secrets and arcane legends.

    The moonlight was falling like silver rain over the garden of luscious flowers, where I was lying unaware of my impetuous fate. I fell in love with the idea of sublimity and extravagance. My thoughts were like sparkling gems beneath the night sky.

    Magnificent stars were glowing in the firmament, and I realised the magic of that fantastic realm to which I was bound. Covered with stardust and the scent of occult blossoms, I surrendered to the allure of an enchanted forest, letting its mysteries consume me.

    I was searching for my true self and my enlightenment. I didn’t know what fear was, and death was not an enemy to fight against, because I was an immortal creature of the darkness. I found delight in dreams and isolation. Solitude was been my source of strength and joy.

    The night sky was starred by glowing luminaries and I was hiding in the shadows of my secret garden of desires and regrets. Wandering in labyrinths of hollow trees, I didn’t have any direction to follow or a purpose in my existence.

    All that I could feel was the frozen wind caressing me everywhere with its pointed claws like sharp daggers stroking my pale and delicate skin. Time dissolved, fleeting as a snowflake surrendering to the kiss of the sun.

    Lost in the embrace of the night, I became nothing more than a fantasy among the stars, an unrevealed dream, vanishing like mist before the first glow of dawn. In the shadows, I found my kingdom of eternity and seclusion, where the soft breeze of the night was whispering secrets only I could hear.
    Elisabetta

  • Sublime Magnificence

    Sublime Magnificence

    Sublime magnificence drapes the night
    A vision is woven from bright silver stardust
    I wander like a fairy, bathed in moonlight
    A wisp of silver, floating like a ghost in flight

    Mermaids enchanting melodies cast a spell over me
    I’m reborn in a fairy tale realm made of dreams and cotton candy
    The scent of luscious flowers bewitches me to the point that I lose my mind
    Beneath the vast sky made of sapphires and diamonds

    Whispers of agony and solitude are memories that poison my heart
    Nevertheless, I belong to my realm of dreams and fairy tales forever
    Eternity belongs to me and all my dreams have eternal life
    Illusions are my delights and pangs that make me fly and fall continuously

    I feel like an ethereal fairy who belongs to magic and darkness
    Because I’m made of light and darkness
    I’m concealed by my fears
    And shrouded in shadows, where my soul disappears

    My wings are made of phantasmagorias
    And they let me fly so high that I touch the sky
    Through empires of stars, I sail on boundless seas
    Wandering endlessly between dreams and reality

    I belong to a place where nothing is as it seems
    For I am both the tempest and the calm between the beams
    I’m made of sorrow and the sublime
    A blend of shadows and light, transcending time

    Sublime magnificence lingers in the abyss of mystery
    Where shadows conceal secret dreams that are as light as whispers
    I float through the ether, the stars are my lanterns, and the moon my compass
    I belong to my fantastical world where illusions bloom like flowers

    My soul is a garden of dreams
    A place where nothing can truly be tangible
    For I am the magic that swirls in the mist
    The twilight’s siren and the forsaken witch

    In this realm of wonders, I eternally belong
    Forever surrounded by sublime magnificence.
    Elisabetta

  • Betrayed By My Own Delusions

    Betrayed By My Own Delusions

    Betrayed by my own delusions
    I imagine being an ethereal fairy in my realm of dreams
    Where no creature could ever perturb my heart
    And I could cry out my soul

    Invane becomes my attempt to remain wise and sane
    Insanity and madness are my new names
    I forget my essence to transform into another myself
    And in this metamorphosis, I’m the ruler of my own kingdom

    Silence is my new favourite language
    I can touch flowers of emotions whose scent bewitches me
    I’m under the enchanting spell that I’ve cast upon myself
    I’m a turmoil of love and death, and no storm can prevent me from my intentions

    Quietude is my favourite to express myself
    I stare at my several reflections in the mirror of disquietude
    And I hide behind the magnificence of my exquisite garden of dreams
    Where I can fantasize about all my envisioned hallucinations

    Because I adore soaking in the fountain of everlasting passions
    As my limitless yearnings for decadence and dissolute emptiness increase at night
    During my delightful slumber
    When I’m betrayed by my own delusions

    Lying in my garden of lush and mesmerizing flowers
    I forget my name and my essence
    And I don’t feel any fear or concern about my fate
    Because I belong to the darkness and oblivion

    The eternal night with starred skies belongs to me
    I become an odd fairy floating freely among her flowers of decay
    I identify myself with decadence and extreme love
    Because I’m insane and a storm of passions

    Melancholy and sadness are my steady companions
    From which I can never separate myself
    And all my blooming flowers wither and fade away
    As soon as I weep for my long-lost innocence

    Betrayed by my own delusions
    I forget myself and I’m left bewildered
    Intoxicated with the poison of my own desires
    Lost in the turmoil of my madness and decadence.
    Elisabetta

  • Weeping My Heart Out

    Weeping My Heart Out

    Weeping my heart out in the abyss of the night
    While dark shadows embrace me beneath the pale moonlight made of cold sorrows
    Teardrops carve my name, descending like rivers of woe
    I drown in the ocean of nightmares and death

    The stars have ceased to weep, after staring at the moon’s indifference
    And the wind whispers all my beloved secrets
    Singing the anguish that I keep in my treasure chest
    In my garden of grief where midnight rose

    Weeping my heart out in the stillness of a silent night
    When silence and sorrow prom together
    Echoing through the hollow halls of my soul
    And leaving imprints of longing and grief

    The dawn doesn’t dare to graze my tear-stained face
    Because I belong to the clasp of perpetual twilight
    I’m my weakness and chaos of catastrophe
    Being myself the most intemperate tragedy

    I’m darkness and night
    I’m an ethereal creature of the eternal darkness
    An extravagant flower glowing in the gloomy wilderness
    I love to disappear in the most remote places of my imagination

    Weeping my heart out, I find myself in a meadow of deception
    Where I cannot discern anymore what is real from what is delusion
    Hence, I surrender to the uncertainty of my overwhelming fate
    Unaware of my future demise

    I want to avoid thinking, for I live solely through my passions
    In a frenzy of madness and lust, I become a new creature
    An ephemeral ghost bound to a doomed destiny
    Floating between ecstasy and oblivion

    I take delight in dancing with the spectres of my forsaken desires
    Their strokes ignite flames upon my pale skin
    The night sky swallows the forbidden nectar of my tears
    While I vanish into the chasm of my own longings

    No sunrise will encounter me and no dusk will mourn me
    For I belong to the stillness of the midnight’s embrace
    As I become a shadow lost in the labyrinth of time
    A withering shade, devoured by the void within me.
    Elisabetta

  • A Storm Of Sadness

    A Storm Of Sadness

    A storm of sadness and anguish is striking me with all its might
    And I cannot possibly escape it
    The sun is shining brightly
    But my heart is as dark as the night.

    Hence, I wait for the night to come to rejoice in its feast
    Fearless are my desires,
    And shameless are my fantasies
    I find delight in crying because I can let my fears manifest freely

    I’m odd and unusual
    I cannot fit into any description or catalogue
    I live of dreams and wonders
    I breathe decadence and melancholy
    After all, I am the embodiment of tragedy and blight

    The storm of sadness comes back every day of my life
    It is a familiar shadow at my doorstep, and I embrace it
    I drink the poison of my hallucinations like the sweet nectar of the abyss
    A luscious decay draped in perfumes of bygone eternities

    The wind wails my dismay through hollow halls
    In chambers long abandoned the ever-faithful night is my sacred dwelling
    Little daggers of despair pierce my heart, don’t let it rest even for an instant
    My sensibility is a cherry tree in full bloom under the storm of dreadful occurrences

    I dwell within my hallucinations, lost in a world of beautiful delusion
    Every dream carries me to faraway realms, where reality dares not follow
    I love to indulge in my wild fantasies and my delirium is a paroxysm of lust
    In my kingdom whose sky is made of red and purple clouds, everything is possible and limitless

    Nevertheless, the storm of sadness never left my dreams
    Always looking for me as a creature of its belongings
    Dressing me with an exquisite gown made of tears and sorrow
    Chaining me to a dungeon of dark madness and loneliness
    From which I am bound, unable to escape for all eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • Buried Delights

    Buried Delights

    Buried delights are the only gifts that remained in my treasure chest
    Nothing more because I’ve lost all my hope and dreams
    I’ve been deprived of all the things dear to me and I cannot have any more back
    All that I have is dust and decay

    All my sandcastles were swallowed by the greedy ocean of darkness
    The emptiness of my fate buried all my solaces and delights
    I have to suffer in silence and let my heart bleed all the pains he cannot retain
    Because my life is a graveyard of buried delights and I cannot dream

    I have to suffer unbearably
    My life is an abyss of anguish and sorrow
    Dismay is my favourite word that I pronounce instead of my name
    And my only consolation is the cold soil of my chamber of tears

    I cry infinitely and in my repulsion for life
    I cannot find any light
    What should I do to make my life tolerable?
    Is there any sense in this universe for a creature like me?

    In the gloominess, I hide tiny and invisible
    Because after all, I’m invisible and no one cares about me
    I care about myself so little that even I don’t care
    So I do write because my life is useless and empty

    The void devoured everything all my happiness
    Nothing remained to me but buried delights
    Nothing remained to me but cold tears stroking my cheeks
    So often I cry that I forget all my names and I know that my fate is doomed

    In misery and desolation, I will find my destiny
    In resignation and death, I will find my infinite rest
    Suffering is my only way to express myself inside myself
    Like in a dark maze where all that I can see are shadows lecturing me about life

    My buried dreams and delights are lost forever
    I have nothing any more but the endless anguish of life
    Because I never wanted to be born
    Because I never wanted to be among others
    Because all I ever wanted was to live in my dreams and not in a graveyard made of misery and affliction.
    Elisabetta

  • Torments Are My Delight

    Torments Are My Delight

    Torments are my delight and bliss
    I love to feel a pang piercing my heart
    I love to pine for love devotionally
    I live only in my dreams like a fairy
    Flying lightly from one flower to another one

    I’m an ethereal creature belonging to phantasmagorias
    I’m a little spirit of the night
    My heart is avid of passions and desires
    In my secret garden of lush and extravagance
    Torments are my solace and mirth

    My fate is a turmoil of unknown chaos
    Not paying attention to my fears
    I live carelessly as every day is my last day
    My senses are intoxicated by the scent of extravagant flowers
    And let my body surrender to lust in my haven of lush

    I wear an exquisite and magnificent gown made of tragedy
    My ethereal wings carry me everywhere I wish
    In sadness, I find refuge under the shadows of ancient trees
    In joy, I relish pursuing my dreams of oddities
    Safety is not my favourite word in the dictionary because I adore nightmares

    Every night, I crave to be consumed by the passion of my darkest fantasies
    In the darkness, I burn with the desire to be pierced by agony
    Gloomy shadows whisper my name, enticing me closer
    As I feel an ecstatic pain, I hesitate to surrender
    I’m so lost in the euphoria of torment’s kiss

    Each sigh of mine is like a melody of forbidden delights
    When pleasure and pain entwine in an endless embrace
    I welcome the darkness as its touches are so exquisite and deep
    I become a creature made of fire and fiery lust
    A blaze burns my heart at every stroke

    Every kiss carves a searing scar of longing on my skin
    As a reminder of the desires consuming me whole
    And in the flames, I’m reborn like a blooming blossom
    Torments are my delight and I surrender to the sweet agony of my lusts.
    Elisabetta

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