Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: reflection

  • Under The Lights Of Dying Flames

    Under The Lights Of Dying Flames

    Under the lights of dying flames
    A dreaming image of myself appeared to me
    It occurred in the chamber dimly lit
    While outside, the wind kept knocking on the window

    My secrets became my blames
    And I had to endure so much distress it couldn’t be kept inside the oceans
    As far as I could ever imagine, my existence was bound to the fate of my dreams
    Each instant resembled a drop of poison tainting my heart

    I remained asleep while the candles wept their wax onto the silver
    And I was mourning the truth I couldn’t confess
    Surrounded by shadows moving gracefully like ethereal skeletons
    Turning me into a silhouette of grief and disdain

    I couldn’t understand if I were dead or alive
    I couldn’t even perceive my body anymore
    All I could sense was my frailty facing the abyss of despair
    No presence, no voice, came to ease my sorrow

    The squalid solitude paralysed me to my deathbed
    I became intoxicated with the scent of incense and decay
    Conscious in my unconsciousness that I had no hope or salvation
    Silence crowned my invisible haven, similar to a vestige nailed to the walls of my mind

    I wandered incessantly through my thoughts like a ghost in a cathedral
    Each memory of mine was a hollow and deformed ghoul
    Dripping like wax from a long-forgotten candle

    I couldn’t escape from my nightmare because there was no awakening reserved for me
    I was doomed to the segregation of dimness
    The image of myself faded into smoke

    I vanished in the emptiness like smoke upon a mirror
    Under the stare of my candelabra with their dying flames
    No traces of me could have been found
    No voice of mine was carved on the walls of eternity

    Under the lights of dying flames, I became a shadow not even the moon could claim as its own.
    Elisabetta

  • Elegy Of The Withered Roses

    Elegy Of The Withered Roses

    Elegy of the withered roses was one of the hymns carved on my book of dreams
    Every time I opened it to flee the reality around me, I found myself in another world
    A realm of solace and delight but also with dreadful and disquieting hues
    Confused and dazzled, I began to proceed on my walk to the fountain of knowledge
    The more I wanted to know, the more I was convinced to know less

    My struggle to understand the mystery beyond a legend so dear to me was overwhelmed by the fear of oblivion
    As soon as I desired to open the books, decay trapped me in a state of affliction
    And nightmares hunted me like prey, wherever I was, in the garden of desolation
    What I’ve never seen before appeared in the mirror of my fate
    The truth hurt me like a dagger inside my bleeding heart

    The doom of desolation and solitude tainted every delight of mine
    Although I was fleeing the reality, I couldn’t find any haven where to rest in peace
    Sombre clouds overcrowded the night sky, obliterating all the stars
    And the moon emerged immense in her startling splendour
    As she was chanting the elegy of the withered roses

    I couldn’t understand if the shrieks I was hearing were groans of mockery or laments of sorrow
    All I could see was shadows embedded in the roots of dead trees
    Twisting like tortured souls in the abyss of perpetual despair
    Because after all, every dream of mine was a nightmare In the luminous hush of night
    Since my heart was just an imperfect relic of impetuous storms

    Nothing more could have been mended
    The rift between the realm of nightmares and longings had outgrown
    My castle of hopes and illusions had crumbled to pieces
    Its towers dissolved into mist, and its gates were devoured by stillness
    I stood in my loneliness surrounded by the debris and clutching dreams that were turned to dust
    As if sorrow itself had rewritten the fabric of my heart.
    Elisabetta

  • Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal madness dragged me deep into the dungeon of torment and despair
    A fortress where I couldn’t fly with my imagination
    An isolated island of sorrow and heartache
    Chained by the moans of my own thoughts

    Hence, I started to seek shadows instead of light
    I wandered lost in the wilderness and surrounded by absolute silence
    I became a captive to the memories and echoes of the past
    With the certitude that a wicked fate ruled my existence

    All the mirrors around me sought in vain to reveal the mystery within myself
    In the gloom of their cryptic tales
    For I could not comprehend their bizarre words
    Because they were just utterances lost in the infinite void

    In that abyss of subliminal madness
    The relentless wind of laments was blowing against me
    Gelid arrows that pierced through my body
    Fragments of anguish that were sharp daggers

    Profound wounds were carved on my heart
    Too deep for time to mend or forget
    Bleeding sorrows staining the hours
    Instants marked by silent screams

    Grief became a solemn veil that shrouded me
    Memories burned like inextinguishable flames
    And all that remained were ashes of dreams scattered in the wind
    Beneath the moonless dark sky of my endless night

    Nothing remained to me
    Not even a flake of hope
    Not even a fragment of a dream
    But only a subliminal madness to relieve my tragedy

    In silence and solitude
    My life was merely a paroxysm of darkness
    A frenzy of obscure nightmares chased me
    I could only sigh at the sound of raindrops getting me through

    In this desolate maze of endless sadness
    Not even a flicker of defiance was burning within me
    I couldn’t hear any whisper of solace
    I crawled through the mist of my own despair

    The shadows that once enticed me now suffocated me
    And the silence, once my treasured haven, transformed into a dungeon
    Whenever I strived to chase the faintest pleasure
    I was left aimless and shattered

    I still couldn’t find a realm beyond this dark veil
    A world where torments were no longer my torturers
    Hence, I was bound to this endless darkness
    And my heart was filled with subliminal madness.
    Elisabetta

  • A Pang In My Heart

    A Pang In My Heart

    A pang in my heart is stabbing me like a dagger
    A wild storm initiated an endless turmoil
    Like a ritual of initiation that crumples my soul
    And the obsessive feelings of burning love

    Astonished to have lost the ability to control my senses
    Like a nocturnal butterfly doomed to be burnt to flame
    When she is attracted by the betrayal of an innocent flame
    Lost in the darkness of the night

    My will is enslaved to the lust of my senses
    A treacherous journey in the midst of a tempest
    Bewildered and bewitched by a wonderful stranger
    Only destiny knows what will occur in the ethereal world of my dreams

    A mesmerising enchantment captivates me to never let me free
    Wandering in total obscurity with no direction
    Feeling a fever of anguishes and hopes
    While an incessant rain is falling over me

    Unlock doors let me think about you
    As I would love to be there at that precise moment close to you
    Even in silence while I cannot stop crying
    Because I would love us to be immortal lovers

    Time passes but not my love for you
    Whose name is still unknown in my heart
    I wish you could have been reading these verses
    But I have the certitude that you will never read them

    Sobbing and sighing I open the window of chaos
    Embracing my inner tumult and apathetically breathing as I write
    Is there a chance of meeting someone by destiny?
    I always wonder about the reasons, but never about the surprises of life

    I lost hope and I dismissed myself to let stupor dismay me
    While I cannot stop thinking about you
    While I cannot stop loving you
    Even if I’m just an anonymous neighbour of yours

    I only treasure the spare and casual moments I had encountered you
    In real life and in my dreams
    And never forget about you
    While a pang in my heart stabs me deeply.
    Elisabetta

  • Claustrophobic Thoughts

    Claustrophobic Thoughts

    Claustrophobic thoughts on solitude and self-love
    Duty was the master of my obsessions
    Although I was travelling in an unreachable remote realm
    Where I was not aware that I could have dreamed

    The surprise of being a part of the time and eternity
    But as an invisible and ethereal creature of darkness
    Longing I could manifest all the desires of mine
    Faraway from ambiguous wicked beings

    Enticed by my love and desire for my untouchable beloved
    Who perceived but ignored my passion for him
    Hence, frustration and impossibility separated me
    Keeping me awake at night and a dreamer in the middle of the day

    Whenever I could have the chance to meet him
    I would rejoice in his vision and sometimes voice
    Striving to obtain some quick and volatile attention
    For just a few instants that sounded like an eternity

    Silence and loneliness waited for me
    In every corner of my mind
    Whenever my hope could have been fulfilled
    In my naive dreams

    Waiting was the only option
    Even forever
    As long as I could be there not far from him
    With my heart

    Dreams and illusions are my merriment
    Like a multicoloured lamp enlightening sleepless nights
    While my claustrophobic thoughts trapped my mind
    In a vortex

    Letting the river of life captivate me
    I float like a leaf on the cold waters of fate
    When uncertainty is the ruler of the realm
    Echoing my name

    Words like carved truths on my soul
    Conducting me to my unknown destination
    I become words
    I become memories

    Vanishing in the void
    All that remains of me are my fears and longings
    Cling to my love
    Burning like an inextinguishable flame
    Pure like the blossom of a crimson rose.
    Elisabetta

  • Echoes of Solitude

    Echoes of Solitude

    The echoes of solitude lingered like ghosts,
    Each sigh was a reminder of what was permanently lost.
    In the chambers of silence, where memories faded,
    I traced the soft outlines of illusions that betrayed.

    Once passionate and secure, my heart knew no bounds,
    However, in the quiet, the many storms overwhelmed around.
    The walls whispered secrets of sorrow and pain,
    Recounting the moments where hope met disdain.

    Each creak of the floorboard evoked a haunting voice from the past,
    Telling of fables and merriments that couldn’t last.
    The portraits that hung on the walls seemed to cry,
    Reflecting my longing, my wish to defy.

    In the heart of the stillness, where time lost its touch,
    I wandered through memories; my heart could not heal from the clutch.
    The enigmas became entangled, too complex to feel,
    A web of lost moments, no truth to reveal.

    I spoke to the shadows, confided my fears,
    Revealing the heartache that flowed like my tears.
    Indeed, in this embrace of the silent abyss,
    I found a strange comfort, a longing for bliss.

    For solitude wrapped me in a stone mansion,
    Where the flowers of anguish began to flourish without caution.
    In the stillness, I pondered the paths that I chose,
    And the weight of my sorrow, a delicate prose.

    Each echo was a lesson, each silence a melody,
    In the chasms of my solitude, I found serenity.
    Though the world outside faded into the mist,
    In the meadows of solitude, I found my true bliss.

    But even in happiness, a cloud remained,
    A reminder of all that could never be tamed.
    For solitude’s comfort is an ephemeral glimpse at best,
    A fleeting illusion that cannot bring rest.

    And so I remain, a soul intertwined,
    Among echoes of solitude, lost to the mind.
    Surrounded by the quietude, I drift like the night,
    Searching for peace, yet bound to the light.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Embrace of the Void

    The Embrace of the Void

    In the embrace of the void, where shadows entwine,
    I surrendered my heart to the arcane silence.
    Here, in the stillness, all sounds had ceased,
    I found my own peace, but my spirit was leased.

    The night wrapped around me like a lover’s caress,
    With each sigh, I let slip a whisper of grief.
    I wandered through landscapes where no light could intrude,
    Lost in the abyss of a sorrowful realm.

    The stars above flickered like memories gone,
    Their light was just a glimmer, a glimpse of the dawn.
    In the embrace of the void, time slipped away,
    A moment eternal, where shadows held sway.

    I felt the cold raindrops of darkness draw near,
    A shroud woven tightly, instilling pure fear.
    Yet strangely, within this chasm, I discovered a treasure,
    A comfort in stillness, a profound solace.

    For what is the void but a mirror of myself,
    Reflecting the depths of my own anguish?
    I wandered unanchored, yet strangely at home,
    In the embrace of the emptiness, forever to linger.

    The silence, a canvas where thoughts drift and sway,
    In colours of longing, that time can’t allay.
    Each heartbeat was a reminder of love left behind,
    In the void’s deep embrace, my heart was unconfined.

    And so I perpetually abide in this realm of despair,
    Where shadows stroke me, and darkness stands revealed.
    Since, only in the embrace of the void, I am free,
    Forever entwined in this haunting decree.

    In the oblivion, I confront the phantoms that dwell in my mind,
    A haunting chorus of echoes, relentless and cruel.
    In dreams and nightmares, I’m lured into this desolate place,
    Hence, I embrace the infinite darkness, each shadow, each sorrow, each trace.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • I Am an Infinite Essence

    I Am an Infinite Essence

    I am an infinite essence, not a face nor a body,
    I am not a nationality nor a religion,
    I am not a temper nor a character,
    I am not my long blond hair nor my skin’s colour.

    I am not the scars etched on my soul,
    Nor the joy that dances in the light,
    I am not the silence of stories untold,
    Or the shadows that stretch in the night.

    I am not the title upon my name,
    Nor the career I chase in the fray,
    I am not the victories or the shame,
    Or the words I’ve spoken that led me astray.

    I am not the eyes that gaze at the sky,
    Nor the hands that reach for the stars,
    I am not the dreams that flutter and fly,
    Or the burdens that cling like invisible bars.

    I am not the laughter that spills from my lips,
    Nor the tears that carve rivers on my cheeks,
    I am not the journey of countless trips,
    Or the wisdom in silence when no one speaks.

    I am not the colours that paint my mind,
    Nor the paths that I’ve wandered alone,
    I am not the future I hope to find,
    Or the echoes of a heart turned to stone.

    I am not defined nor definable,
    I am an infinite essence, like the universe,
    A fabric stitched, forever bold,
    Each thread is a story, a cosmic verse.

    I am the multifaceted gem in the light,
    Reflecting hues of joy and despair,
    A mosaic of shadows, both dark and bright,
    Embracing each layer with the boldness to dare.

    I am the chains of the past that bind,
    However, I rise, unshackled, to embrace the new,
    In every facet, my essence is defined,
    A symphony of being, forever true.

    I am the whisper in the depths of the night,
    The pulse of the earth beneath the grounds,
    I am the spark that ignites the fight,
    The heartbeat of dreams, raw and sweet.

    I am the uniqueness that flows like a stream,
    Unbound by the labels that people assign,
    I am the flicker of hope, a fragile dream,
    A quilt of tales, uniquely mine.

    I am the silence that lingers, a tranquil embrace,
    The truth that transcends all the ways that divide,
    I am not a single reflection but a multifaceted blaze,
    In the vastness of being, I choose to abide.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Endless Grief

    The Endless Grief

    The endless grief, born in the deepest shadows,
    Where sorrow grew, and demons crept.
    A silence dazed the eerie aura,
    A weight too much for hearts to bear.

    The rain fell cold, the sky was bleak,
    The soul became frail and the mind weak.
    A distant toll of bells transformed into a choir of cries,
    A dirge for those who dared to wander too far away.

    The endless road of mourning winds,
    Through shattered hopes and twisted desires.
    No company was found, nor voices to be heard,
    Just endless grief that claimed every living creature.

    The endless grief, a cursed refrain,
    A perpetual march through infinite pain.
    The night devoured the light of day,
    And dragged the hearts to slow decay.

    A castle cold, where shadows reigned,
    Sighs echoed in darkened walls.
    A labyrinth with thorns and tendrils of dread,
    Each path was a step closer to the death.

    The stars looked down with a hollow stare,
    Like frozen orbs that did not care.
    Their pale light painted the soil in frost,
    As every entity was bound and lost.

    The endless grief betrayed like a lover’s kiss,
    A poisoned embrace that none could ever be missed.
    It held hearts, it gripped souls,
    It swallowed whole all that was taken under control.

    In twisted woods where no life could have prospered,
    The path led where the cold wind blew.
    The trees, they moaned, their branches writhed,
    Beneath the sky where stars didn’t thrive.

    The river flew with quiet dread,
    A blackened stream for the living dead.
    Its waters whispered as they ran,
    A mournful hymn for what had begun.

    The endless grief, a heavy shroud,
    A curse that lingered like a minacious cloud.
    No dawn would have broken, no sun would have risen,
    No delight could have been born beneath these unlimited skies.

    The realm itself became a monument of stone,
    A place where nothing could make sense.
    The ground would have swallowed every shadow,
    And still, the grief remained the same.

    The endless grief never ended and never will,
    Through disfigured dreams, it wends and bends.
    It buries deep, it scars souls,
    A fate that no one can control at all.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Dead Dreams

    Dead Dreams

    Dead dreams haunted
    the hollow realm,
    where forgotten hopes withered
    beneath a sky
    of perpetual dusk.

    Once, this place had been
    crowded with life,
    with hope,
    with the vibrant pulse of chance.
    But those days were long gone,
    and now the only inhabitants
    were ghosts
    of forgotten desires.

    Regret lingered
    as sharp and suffocating as smoke,
    tainting everything
    it touched.

    Dead dreams lingered
    in the corners,
    hiding in the cracks of walls,
    in the dust that coated
    every room.

    The house was falling apart,
    its bones creaking
    under the strain of time.

    The windows were broken,
    the doors hanging loose
    on their hinges,
    and yet something remained—
    a presence, invisible,
    undeniable,
    watched from the shadows.

    Dead dreams whispered
    through the air,
    soft voices,
    insistent.

    They spoke
    of what could have been,
    of paths not taken,
    of futures lost.

    Their words wound
    through the halls,
    pulling deeper
    into the heart
    of decay.

    The walls seemed to close in,
    the rooms growing smaller,
    more suffocating.

    The air was thick with dust,
    with the weight
    of years.

    Dead dreams never indeed die;
    they fade,
    becoming one with shadows,
    with silence.

    The house would stand forever,
    a monument
    to what was lost,
    to what could never
    be reclaimed.

    In the end,
    it would claim all,
    just as it had claimed
    those who came before.

    There was no escape
    from the dead dreams.

    They lingered on
    long afterlife
    had left.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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