Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: oblivion

  • Extraordinary Phantasmagorias

    Extraordinary Phantasmagorias

    Extraordinary phantasmagorias came to visit me in my dreams
    In the realm of marvel and delusion
    Where everything was possible
    I could finally find myself, pretending to be a fictitious apparition

    A sordid trepidation captured my attention
    Instead of enjoying the glowing light of my dreams
    I became a frail and ethereal soul submitted to a brutal destiny
    As in an ocean storm, I surrendered to the fury of an enraged chasm

    Slowly I sunk into the deep abyss of the infinite universe
    No matter how I could have strived to keep myself alive
    The abysm swallowed me, claiming me as a creature of his own
    Therefore, my sobs and cries could not rescue me

    My extraordinary phantasmagorias forsook me
    As I was not anymore a creature of their realm
    Indeed, I became a spirit of the tormented Stygian tenebrosity
    Where I was not so privileged to desire beauty and magnificence

    Nonsense was my only escapism
    Madness was my only way to endure such a startling world
    As if I wished to disguise my anguish under the impression of delirious mirth and illusory bliss
    After all, I preferred to foolish myself rather than embrace the cruel misery of reality

    Although I aimed to succeed in my perseverance and wisdom
    I have let my fatuity win and take over my mind and heart
    A captive of my own abyss, I wandered endlessly,
    Lulled by the whispers of my shattered illusions.

    Not even the wind of intemperance welcomed my weepings
    And yet no soul could hear my restless sorrows
    Time became a fantasy and an endless ritual
    As I drifted through the labyrinth of forgotten dreams

    All that survived was a remote hymn of defeated longings,
    Fading into the eternal night,
    While I dissolved into the silence of my own despair.
    Elisabetta

  • Shadows Over Me

    Shadows Over Me

    Shadows over me constantly
    Hunting me like terrifying ghouls
    Frightening me to the bones
    With their obsession

    I decided to abandon myself to the sense of defeat
    A defeat due to my cruel fate of being invisible and negligible
    Like a little sparkle of light destined to its descent into the abyss of darkness
    And so, that was me

    I wish extraordinary phantasmagorias would visit me in my dreams
    But even that was impossible
    So much was the misery of my realm of existence
    Being a negligible creature destined to the cold wind of indifference

    Even the possibility of falling in love with a chimaera and an illusion of mine was a failure
    Destined to ominous omens
    While the rays of the pale moonlight stroke my hair
    I descended again into an eternal and deadly slumber

    I couldn’t see anything but a total obscurity
    I couldn’t hear but an absolute silence
    Dim and dreadful shadows descended over me
    And I couldn’t react or move in this ocean of emptiness

    Defeated again and again by a sense of tragic frailty
    I became a shadow myself
    A shadow bound to a world of lies and deception
    With the inability to flee away
    Being hushed up in an abyss of oblivion

    Being forsaken and abandoned to loneliness
    I only found comfort in the numbness and lack of emotions
    After striving to scream
    I faded away like invisible stardust

    Shadows over me grasped my heart to tear it apart
    Feeling a fractured crystal in the inside
    I couldn’t feel any pang or fear because I was myself anguish and dread
    I became a ghost lingering in the world of death and darkness

    Ethereal as I was, I wandered like a frightful spirit of the night
    Chasing every spark of light I could seize, in vain
    For I was doomed to the realm of darkness and oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • The Chains Of The Past

    The Chains Of The Past

    The chains of the past captivated me
    Placing me down on the cold soil of the garden of tears
    A place where no hope or wish was granted
    A dungeon of anguish and dismay that became my eternal realm

    An initiation ritual pierced my heart and made it bleed
    My blood nourished the flowers of betrayal and deception
    until they drained me of all strength
    Leaving me fainting on the cold soil among thorns and sharp stones

    Suddenly I felt that all my fears left my heart
    And I became the representation of numbness and apathy
    My body was as bloodless as an inanimate pebble
    Silent like a grave and dark as the night

    My soul parted whispering a farewell
    My heart was pale as ashes
    Every spark of curiosity and liveliness faded away
    Leaving me entombed in a deep slumber from which I would never awaken

    The chains of the past were a noose around my neck
    Drops of poison were falling on my face from the fountain of oblivion
    Longings and regrets entwined a chain of tears and blood around my heart
    A stupor was in my mind and weakness overwhelmed me

    My memories from the past became my hunting nightmares
    I couldn’t escape from them and hence I was lying helpless in the cold soil of the garden of death
    All I could hear were soft sighs and cries of despair
    Underneath the immense darkness of the night sky

    A curtain of haze blurred my blank gaze
    As the wind wove moans into shadows
    No dawn would ever find my eternal dusk
    No voice would unsettle my spectral silence

    Unable to find my way out of misery and sorrow
    I descended into the deepest abyss of darkness
    Becoming an unknown wraith in this garden of death
    Where even time had turned to dust
    And then only echoes of forsaken laments remained.
    Elisabetta

  • Soft Daggers Of Dismay

    Soft Daggers Of Dismay

    Soft daggers of dismay pierced my heart
    While I was helpless in my slumber
    Like a magic spell enticing me with its sweet melancholy
    I abided to embrace resignation as a matter of reality

    Burning flames destroyed all my words
    And the only thing that remained was silence
    And absolute silence in the darkness of the night
    While the cold wind of indifference pinned me like a butterfly in a cloud

    Many thoughts and memories made me realise that I was raving over nothing
    Because nothing really mattered but my distorted idea of reality
    Leading me astray in a garden of thorns and hollow trees
    Where I found my inner leisure and despondency

    The pluralism of my essence overwhelmed me
    It was like to be conscious of a fragmentation of the soul
    Concealing myself behind the fountain of unknown
    I embraced my fate as an undefined creature of the ethereal world of fantasies

    Soft daggers of dismay pierced my heart
    Making it bleed into a garden of crimson flowers
    Where the alluring scent bewildered my senses
    Leading the way at the edge of an abysm
    A chasm of devastation and death

    Crying and screaming
    I remained at the bottom of a gorge
    My teardrops formed an impetuous river that swept me away
    Until I found myself senseless and confused
    As I was reborn in a new life

    The soft daggers of my dismay turned into thorns surrounding my heart
    The sweetness of this pang made me feel a flower rooted in a forest of nightmares
    Where the faded sound of cries echoed in the nocturnal landscape
    Exhaustion overcame me

    Writing my feelings in ink forged from tears and blood
    I carved every single letter on a parchment of memories
    Remembrances emerged like ghosts lingering around me
    Striving to choke me with their pointed fingers
    While I fell into a profound slumber
    To never wake up and face the reality

    Hence I lay in a garden of crimson flowers
    Where nonsense was the only decree
    And phantasmagoria was the only truth
    While the whispers of the abyss lulled me into a forever oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • Victimised By My Desires

    Victimised By My Desires

    Victimised by my desires and love
    I try to detach from my heart’s impulses
    But it is useless because I am chained completely
    Like a prey of my own longings, craving for my soul

    I keep believing in my dreams and impossible chimeras
    Never breaking the chain of my own distress
    Trusting love and its cruel games
    A realm of beauty and deception

    Victimised by my desires and obsessions
    I get lost in my dreams where I feel safe and protected
    And I sing my song of love and self-destruction
    As a way to cast a spell over myself over and over again

    Alive and dead
    Happy and sad
    I fade away into the darkness of my life
    Becoming a victim of my emotions and weakness

    Every time that my dreams whisper lies to me
    I feel euphoric and powerful as I’m destined to a perpetual merriment
    Instead, I fall into the profound abyss of misery
    Where I compassionately cry crystal teardrops

    I never stop sighing in this valley of desolation
    As I’m permanently condemned to wander endlessly with no destination
    As I’m permanently condemned to never find peace in my innermost spirit

    Seized by cobwebs of love and impossibilities
    Abducted into secret alcoves of empty vows
    I surmise that my own delusions are real, mistaking them for truths
    And see only exquisite beauty in this world because I want to believe so

    In my dark chamber, I cry and sigh
    In my secret niche, I embrace oblivion
    Aware that nobody, absolutely nobody, thinks about me
    In this senseless existence, deprived of empathy

    Forlorn and disenchanted, I wait for the true love
    Although I’m sure I can feel it, and I can see it as a beautiful vision
    As I’m very foolish and ingenue, losing easily control of my feelings
    And I’m glad to fall into the trap of my longings
    And I’m delighted that I’m victimised by my desires.
    Elisabetta

  • I Mystify My Tragedy

    I Mystify My Tragedy

    I mystify my tragedy into my poetry
    I become words and ethereal thoughts
    Delusion is my name since I live of illusions
    While the frozen truth manifests through a stormy wind

    Faraway but not too much, there is my desire
    The object of my obsession and passion
    So close to me and yet a kind of distant
    Hope is my name since I live of wishes

    Call me a visionary and fool
    But my spirit belongs to a storm bounding me
    Like an invisible spiderweb in which I’m a captive
    Sad and lonely, desperate and disheartened

    So I’m writing my poem of self-introspection
    Ready to fall down from a cliff of dreams
    Until I reach the abyss of oblivion and emptiness
    To declare myself a non-living creature striving to exist

    I pretend to appear as a living person
    Not revealing my mighty fantasy and extravagance
    No one calls my name anymore
    Although everyone sees me

    Who can wonder what will be in the fate of the world
    A realm of corruption and confusion
    Where deception is served as the holy truth
    And wisdom under the shape of violence

    I mystify my tragedy into my dreams
    Longings pierce me deeply
    Until I bleed my soul out
    Like an instantaneous rainstorm

    Invisible to everyone
    I wander in the night
    Where darkness and solitude are my solaces
    Probably envisioning everlasting love

    Sombre whispers become numbed sighs
    Nothing to cherish
    Nothing to forget
    Just instants of eternity lost in the infinite void

    Call me when you see me in your dreams
    Although you don’t know my name
    Having seen me as an apparition
    Soft is always the remembrance of you

    Sleeping as the slumber possesses me
    In its chaos and convulsions
    I feel nothing more than a gentle cry
    A cry to suppress my anguish and pang of love.
    Elisabetta

  • Beguiled by Doubt and Fear

    Beguiled by Doubt and Fear

    Beguiled by doubt and fear, I wandered in the darkness of the night, searching for deception and truth.

    I remembered that the sun had just set down slowly, diving into the ocean depths and dissolving completely.

    Struggling to keep myself alive, trying to not think and not remember, hence not suffering anymore.

    Successfully, I discovered refuge in the oblivion of my senses, no longer understanding what reality and illusion were.

    Sobbing and gasping until I couldn’t breathe anymore, I fell like a dead flower on the cold ground, and there I lay down, remaining senseless like a deadly slumber.

    I awoke in a new realm, but I was not alive anymore because I belonged to the kingdom of death and oblivion.

    I was happily dead for the rest of eternity, an ethereal and metaphysical creature rambling in an endless night.

    I was no longer living, beguiled by doubt and fear. Betrayal and lies were not part of my life anymore, and neither phoney love belonged to my realm.

    I was finally free from vultures and deception. My essence was pure, like a crystal gem shining under the moonlight.

    Alone, I wandered, and I still strolled among shadows and memories, feeling a grudge and the emptiness of the eternal night.

    Silence surrounded me like a haunting ghost, following me everywhere, always lingering. I heard nothing but the echoes of my own obsessions.

    Teardrops descended over my body, cold manifestations of my sorrow and my anguish, silent sighs of my despair and my invisible wounds.

    I embraced death and defeat forever, perceiving their cruel grasp over me; their wicked blade pierced me brutally until it shattered me to pieces.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Ocean of Gloominess

    The Ocean of Gloominess

    The ocean of gloominess stretched before me and beyond any imagination, displaying all its magnificence and supremacy.

    Fears and insecurities became ominous shadows that grew bigger, like intense storms dragging me deep into the abyss of oblivion.

    Freezing was the wind that embraced me with its long, spiky arms like a sweet and sour betrayal that ripped my heart.

    I would embrace non-existence rather than existence as a valley of distress and pain where I don’t find any place of joy and peace.

    Not relying on trust anymore, searching desperately for the truth buried underneath, I laid down on the cold soil, waiting for my eternal slumber to drag me away.

    Teardrops covered my face, freezing under the shapes of crystals and gems, now that nothing would have remained.

    And so, I became a part of that frozen realm where all the trees and flowers were made of insensitive frost.

    Not feeling anything anymore was my source of delight and amusement. I strived to forget all the memories as if I really never existed.

    The ocean of gloominess enticed me with its mystery and illusions, its sovereignty and cruelty.

    The nothingness lured me over and over again till I fell into the snare of the void where I coveted to finish like an ethereal dream of mine.

    Hence, I fainted again in a deadly slumber, a permanent one from which I couldn’t wake anymore, becoming just a frail, glimmering snowflake.

    Fleeting moments became remembrances to be obliterated like sand devoured by the wind. And dread overcame every little sparkle of mirth, leaving me adrift in the eternity of despair.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Long Night of Desires

    A Long Night of Desires

    A long night of desires and regrets beneath the infinite darkness of the firmament disclosed many dreams and secrets.

    And for each memory, a terrible ghost of the past appeared under the shape of an ominous shadow whose silent scream shattered every flower to dust.

    A fearless storm surrounded the night with its thunders and gloomy clouds, obliterating every trace of beauty from the realm of dreams and darkness.

    Giving way to nothingness and void that swallowed everything with an eerie fury.
    All that remained was a desert with scattered fragments of emotions and love.

    The moonlight lit flames of longing and despair, glinting like shattered glass, trembling with soft murmurs.

    Every blossom of the garden of distress flowered into a withered bloom, and each petal fell like a sour teardrop, dissolving into the sand.

    The inextinguishable emptiness exhaled its yearning across the barren universe, and its absolute silence swelled louder than the storm’s wildest cry.

    Hopes dissolved into the blank abyss like a river of lost dreams flowing to nowhere while love’s faint flames glinted, swallowed by the surreal dimness.

    Into the maze of sorrow, the eternal night became infinite and relentless, with its secrets buried beneath waves of grief.

    Glooms and clouds depleted all the frail remnants of light and joy, replacing them with immense anguish and decay.

    The long night of desires became an endless night of regrets when nightmares swirled around the world like haunting ghouls, tormenting every slumber.

    The infinite abyss of darkness extinguished everything, enclosing every faded memory of a realm once alive and now barely reduced to fragments of despair.

    A wailing blizzard agonised the desert of despair, dragging all the fragments of forgotten dreams and scattering the ashes of love that once burned radiant.

    The stars above, veiled by eternal dismay, became hollow gazes observing the doomed ruins below, becoming witnesses to a tale of a long night of desires devoured by the infinite chasm of oblivion.

    The firmament extended its icy and infinite arms, claiming all and leaving nothing but an absolute silence resounding as a boundless and eternal requiem for dead dreams.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Ephemeral Sense of Oblivion

    An Ephemeral Sense of Oblivion

    An ephemeral sense of oblivion descended upon the decadent realm of darkness,
    As an ocean of sorrow and grief dissolved into the dim night sky,
    And stars were obliterated by the obscurity of the infinite void.

    Feeling like a tiny flower in the immensity of nightfall,
    I sensed the vast darkness of the sea claiming my soul,
    Unveiling remembrances as haunting, shadowed visions of my past.

    Feeling no fear, I wandered into the unknown depths of the night,
    My thoughts were ensnared by ghouls of the past,
    Catching glimpses of horrible, ambiguous visions.

    Bleeding teardrops descended from my heart,
    As awkward chaos consumed my mind,
    Drowning me in the vast ocean of memories.

    My sacrifices lay shattered, lost to dust and decay,
    In a slumber, I fell like a flower falling into a lake,
    Unaware of the consequences of my anguish.

    Dreaming about unrealistic expectations,
    Beneath the shadows of darkness, fears and vulnerabilities blossomed in a garden of brutality and chaos,
    Inside a labyrinth woven with twisted roots of dread.

    When the night disclosed secrets, they became venomous and sweet,
    While grotesque truths appeared beyond mirrors of hidden torments,
    Shards of fractured loves were scattered and jagged in the void.

    Through the dark maze, I staggered, each step sinking deeper,
    Each gloom revealed wounds that festered beneath my fragile longings,
    And despair suffocated me.

    A faint light emerged, flickering like a dying flame at the mercy of the winds,
    Pulling me closer with its eerie and unyielding spell,
    With the only promise that I was going to face oblivion’s embrace.

    The stars had vanished after they were swallowed whole by the void,
    Leaving me adrift in the profound ocean of my tacit dreads,
    And finally, the night consumed me entirely.

    An ephemeral sense of oblivion fractured my heart,
    Until I became nothing more than an erased memory,
    Forever lost in the decadent realm of darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah