A shallow melancholy caught me in the labyrinth of torment and insomnia. My heart was pierced and disheartened by senseless whirlwinds of despair and anguish. I didn’t know where I was headed, but I could only feel a tremendous intimidation inside myself. A vast, gloomy shadow couldn’t allow me to see beyond the horizon. I had no destination, and it seemed that I had no free choice to escape from that doomed fate of mine. The haze was so dense, and the night was so dark that I couldn’t find any portal to allow me to leave. I screamed to the stars, but they refused to listen to my voice, and I was cast away from their gaze for eternity. The everlasting darkness granted me the utmost agony, and sorrow lulled me to a deadly slumber. So much I cherished my dreams, nevertheless, they vanished into the ashes of decay. Solitude and loneliness had spellbound me with their sombre and mournful enchantment. In a mystic aura, I was viscously bound to a magical realm of lost spirits and wicked wraiths, which whispered their laments to my ears. I knew not who I had become and what my name was. So much confused and chaotic was the state of my heart that it sank deeply into the abyss of devastation. I fell into ecstasy and bliss, enjoying my obliteration and every cut inflicted upon my body. Wounded and frantic, I shed tears of pleasure and delight. My sobs and sighs broke the solemn silence that was my most loyal companion in that kingdom of death and mortification. Frenzy squished me, and madness shattered my heart. I embraced the bitter emptiness, hovering like an ethereal creature in search of witchy dungeons and secret forests. And there were no beginnings nor ends in the domain of the shallow melancholy. I remained suspended from ropes, which led me into my perpetual descent. And I lay there, claimed by the hereafter.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: despair
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A Shallow Melancholy
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Wonderful Darkness
Wonderful darkness in the midst of my dreams shrouded me in its velvety dark veil, inlaid with stars and crescent moons. I was frightened to lose myself in the infinite void in front of me. Chaos enthralled me, as I was cast out of every solace, and I made acquaintance with demons and afflictions.
I was everything, and I was nothing. I was infinite, and I was confined. No shapes or colours could define me, as I had lost my primordial impression. A festive creature had announced a decadent fate to me, leaving me withered flowers and branches made of thorns. Although hesitation grasped me, I was determined to embrace the defiant distress that confined me to a dungeon of tears and blood.
Dreadful nightmares as sweet dreams whenever I was surrounded by a deadly slumber. Candles were burning in the night haze, when I listened to the thunder roars. My bleeding heart fainted as it donated every drop of its blood to impatient and greedy spirits. In confusion and silence, I remained still like a frozen sculpture.
I had severed all empathy for my past self. Decline was my inevitable destiny, and I sank deeper and deeper into the abyss of despair. Skeletons of memories claimed me from their otherworldly home. Ethereal flames adorned me like a fiery crown. In my eternal dream, I was flying free like a butterfly on a spring morning.
Nonetheless, what was expected was a storm of wrath and demise. Wonderful darkness had entangled me in an entrapment filled with daggers and screams. My heart was viciously tormented, fractured and torn to pieces. I couldn’t have found a shadow willing to grant me even a fragment of marvel.
The sky hid the stars’ bright light beneath dark, threatening clouds, and I acquiesced to my fate. Quiescent shadows wrapped me with their mysterious soliloquies. I traversed my last portal without any hope of return. My name was obliterated, and my heart was swallowed by wonderful darkness. Through loss, blood, and oblivion, I was consecrated to the night.
Elisabetta Esther -
Seeking Dreams
Seeking dreams in nowhere on a winter night with no stars but only a mystical fog and gloomy clouds. Not even a bird was flying in the leaden and dark sky. Only the clouds were gazing at me like curious observers, and the wind whispered legends of despair to me.
I signed and dreamed of ocean floors paved with diamonds and stars. I fantasised about mermaids lost in submerged islands, and snow-capped waterfalls on remote cliffs. Time faded away when I was dreaming. Not even the impetuous cold rain could distract me from my nightdreaming.
Foolishness never abandoned me, while I was consumed by my passionate longings, which brought me to the edge of the universe. Wonderful darkness enticed me, and I summoned my own demons and spirits, surrounded by exquisite midnight flowers.
Folly and wisdom accompanied me in my everlasting journey to my hellish descent. Though I have visited heavens and abysses, boundless valleys and inaccessible mountains, I have always ended up at the very same point of origin, namely my ancient abyss of despair.
Seeking dreams in nowhere on a frosty night with no glimmering lights but only a ghostly haze and dismal shadows. No living creature crept close to me, but only wraiths and eerie ghouls, which kept following me in every abode and realm I dwelled in.
I foresaw my decay and the obliteration of all my dreams that I had sought for so long in vain. Drowning in the emptiness and losing my heart, that was a nightmare of mine, an incubus visiting my slumber. Arcane verses, evoking a magic spell, were carved on my body.
Scarlet flowers adorned my hair that flowed on my face, while my tears of sorrow soaked the frozen soil. Nightmares and thorns poisoned my never-ending nights, tainting the sky with chaos. Numbed and mesmerised by swirling griefs that never hesitated to tarnish my keenness, I softly succumbed to my unavoidable demise.
While seeking dreams, I harboured enemies in my soul, harming myself with obsessions that left scars all over my body. I had to renounce being myself and let the darkness swallow all my desires. In a realm of liminality, I was cast away and forced to endure agony.
Abandoned in my dismay, I found no solace but to metamorphose into sadness. I became what I had feared the most, the very thing that had damaged my heart. I ended up in loneliness and madness, seeing my own reflection staring back at me in fractured and disfigured mirrors.
Elisabetta Esther -
I Fell In Love With My Demons
I fell in love with my demons, and I wandered alone like a feral creature in the forest, feeling lust every time I tasted blood, suspended in the eternity of darkness. I was haunted and viciously allured by creatures of the night.
I sought my reflection in broken mirrors adorned with bones and silver. However, I was never capable of seeing my countenance in them. My bed was a coffin, and my only devoted accomplices were evil ghouls and skulls.
Every night, I drowned in the ocean of tears made of pain and anguish. The only light I could gaze upon was the crimson moonlight staring at me ferociously. As much as I tried to avoid my phobias and nightmares, they constantly terrified me in the shapes of shadows and ghosts.
I mourned through the endless night over all the despair and distress I could no longer avoid. Exhaustion consumed me entirely. The most agonising fears penetrated my heart with their thorns like prickly brambles.
I was perpetually entangled in ruinous dismay, and I was ensnared in a web of anguish and obsession. A burning flame overwhelmed my heart, devouring it. I was transformed into a spectre made of fire and frost.
I fell in love with my nightmares, and I embraced all the pain I was destined to endure. My yearnings were my ruin, and I surrendered to their devastation. I didn’t fight against doom and decay anymore; I became them.
I took advantage of my secret haven carved in ice and fire. Darkness didn’t scare me any longer, for I was made of gloom and shadows. Absurdity became my norm as I was altered into a complete oddity. I stood as a total aberration before mortal eyes.
No creature could save me from that deadly and tainted chasm, where I finally embraced my most authentic essence. I fell in love with everlasting harm and obliteration. I rediscovered devotion and bliss in delirium and hallucinations.
My utmost pleasure was losing my heart, which was impaled to death by the demons I cherished the most. I clasped my madness with a rope made of thorns and hooks. I sprawled on ashes and dust, sinking into an eternal slumber.
Eternity and death were in me, as well as the steady necessity to sense distress. Pain was an exquisite gift that my evils offered to me. I transmuted to darkness and oblivion. I had no name, and no mirror could reflect my countenance.
Obsession and tragedy were engraved in my flesh and bones. A deluge of frenzied festered into form, blooming like stone flowers. The eternal night welcomed me and revealed to me all its arcane secrets.
The sound of solitude rumbled like a menacing roar. The only light shining over me was the crimson moonlight, soaked in remembrances and forbidden oaths. I fell in love with my demons and dismay. Every teardrop of mine became decay.
Tormented ruins and relics emerged in the graveyard of my deceased dreams. The stars halted to shed light on me. Darkness became eternity and infinity.
Elisabetta Esther -
An Evanescent Bliss
An evanescent bliss came to me in my nocturnal dreams. It was like a bright flame that burned my heart, and I cherished it as a precious jewel. Although I knew it was just an ephemeral fantasy, it was my only treasure to live for. Until the day when my mirrors fractured, and truth became a deception.
So much dismay was inside my trial bones that I couldn’t realise I was still alive. Nevertheless, I wasn’t able to admit my loss. I was still willing to embrace illusions and to ignore forgery. And, at the end, I saw everything that was lying behind my imagination.
In a decrepit and dusty attic, I found chests of ambrosial delights laced with poison. They were there, on purpose, just to attract attention, but their intent was lethal. They were glad to offer delightful winks of bliss and joy in exchange for souls.
I lost my euphoria, and every thrill of ecstasy faded away. My mirrors revealed hidden secrets to my heart. I had to encounter my dreads, and the truth I didn’t wish to disclose. Candies tasted bitter and toxic. My blood was tainted with venom and revenge. Turmoil devoured my heart and turned my blood into a scarlet curse.
My misery transformed into chaos and resentment. I embodied the dungeon in which I was secluded. I became a victim of my own naivety, and it was too late to remove those poisoned, sharp daggers from my heart. What had teased me at first was now haunting me nastily.
I had to touch the emptiness to feel the darkness inside me. Dreadful enchantments enticed me like familiar spells. I sank into the abyss of sadness and desired my own self-destruction. Grief was engraved in my heart, and I completely forgot every kind of evanescent bliss.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Graveyard Of My Luscious Flowers
The graveyard of my luscious flowers appeared in all its majesty and magnificence, hiding arcane secrets and alluring spells of lost loves that were now just a scatter of dust and blood. My wicked heart had dragged me into the abyss of dismay where I had been pierced lusciously by devilish ghouls.
In the certitude that no creature loved me but all that I could cherish was the despised portrait of my dreams, which had been buried alive in the graveyard of my luscious flowers. Sweet funeral melodies floated like a gentle winter breeze, making me melt like a snowflake under the sun.
I huddled among the gravestones looking, for a trace of one of my flowers but I searched in vain because I found only slimy earth and ice. I could see shadows peeking out from the dry branches of dead trees, whose roots were soaked in despair and bones.
An exquisite storm ripped me apart and stole my shattered heart, along with all my desires and dreams. I dared to chase all the stars of the night sky; nevertheless, I couldn’t find them because they were not there for me. I had altered into an ethereal entity. I wasn’t alive. I wasn’t dead.
I fantasised about pointed shining swords and crimson incense, whenever a demon would seize me like a disposable porcelain doll. I wasn’t made of blood and bones anymore. I was a metaphysical creature made of turmoil and madness. Instead of a heart, I had an iron-made coffin.
I embraced the realm of death and depravity, and like a fierce ghost, I hunted treasure chests with hearts locked inside. Because, I yearned for love and passion, like a flower in the desert craved water. I was an everlasting flame, and I was a frosty blizzard.
I enjoyed being a wicked sorceress, ready to cast evil spells, and finding delight in my graveyard, confiding in my crows, skulls, and crimson roses. I amused myself by tasting sweet and bitter poisons and sipping the blood of my mortal prey. I swallowed nonsense and fire beneath the deep garnet moonlight.
I was disdain and love. I was death and life. I was darkness and light. I was lust and virginity. I was madness and wisdom. I was corruption and purity. I was horror and beauty. I was cruelty and virtue. Everything lingered within me, and nothingness swirled like a tempest inside me as well.
I was charred alive because of my foolish and insatiable lusts. Having no blood, flesh or bones, I was made only of fire and ice. Instead of a heart, I had an abyss of frenzy. My fondness for torture and stupor was infinite, like the oblivion of the universe.
The graveyard of my luscious flowers was my agony and my bliss. All my blood had been splattered upon the stormy wind and all my bones had been reduced to ashes. My soul belonged entirely to the magical realm of demons and witches, and embracing the doom became my only dream.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Garden Of Oblivion
The garden of oblivion became my secret hideaway, where I could fall into total despair, crying out all my disillusionments. A garden of frozen flowers and broken mirrors unfolded before me. Fragments of broken mirrors sliced my heart into bleeding shards, which the moonlight illuminated with all its grace.
I was a forsaken creature lost in my trail of lost passions and abandoned to my loneliness. I wandered like a dead soul without any aim to survive since I had lost all my treasures and nothing more was important to cherish. So, cast away from the other worlds, I sought haven in this surreal realm of my own invention.
Love was a perfect stranger to me since my past existences, when utopian trees and flowers surrounded me all the time with their intoxicating scents and bright colours, leaving sweet caresses in my heart. In this age of shadows, I have become just a relic of myself.
Lost in labyrinths inhabited by ghosts and wraiths who never hesitated to grab me with their claws sharp as merciless daggers. My madness grew each night quickly, as soon as I could stare into the gloomy emptiness of the ocean and scream at it with all my feral fury.
Wandering infinitely among shards of broken mirrors and withered flowers, in the realm of shadows and dismay, was all that remained to me. I was a part of that world of doom and oblivion, although all that I desired was to be in an idyllic kingdom of delights and sparkling luminaries.
The garden of oblivion possessed me like one of its creatures, having lost my heart, which had disappeared into the abyss of death, while I cried tears made of blood and sorrow. My tragic fate had deprived me of everything, and no longing was evermore granted to me.
Elisabetta Esther -
Dreams And Tears
Dreams and tears, in an age when night knew no end
I dreamed while crying, my tears steeped in infamous bruises
I was a sorceress obsessed with luscious crimson flowers
I was the most impure and tainted blossom in the garden of the eternal night
Where I envisioned dirty fantasies and sensual chimaeras
I had become possessed by darkness and obsessions
My longings morphed into moths and biting incubiMy obsessions devoured me in their dim realm of seduction and destruction
I lay naked upon the wet and frozen earth
Powerless as I was in front of the immensity of an ocean of nonsense and decadence
Secluded in my alcove of madness, I passed my nights among nightmares
Born to be the victim of my own insanity
When petals of frenzy pierced me like tiny daggers of folly
Opening the portal to an obscure realm whose knowledge devastated me permanently
I was shattered and not willing to see my own reflection in mirrorsI felt the full weight of my anguish on my chest
As if a lustful spectre rested viciously upon my body
While the snow caressed me, as if it were its purpose to soothe my languid soul
My tears never left my face, descending onto the frozen soil and making blossom flowers of fire and darkness
The crimson moon cast faint glimmers across the night sky
Amid the chaos, the luminaries emerged in the shape of sparkling gems
And the firmament echoed my name through the stygian abyssSulfurous and gloomy clouds concealed all the stars, enveloping the night in total murkiness
All my dreams were burnt, and their ashes were buried beneath my gravestone
I became infinite, and nothingness as well, surrounded by fiery flowers and pearls of blood
The everlasting flame within my heart was untamed and filthy, like a feral creature
And the night penetrated me utterly like a vicious blade, leaving me in absolute stupor.
Elisabetta Esther -
Mortification And Delirium
Mortification and delirium
My guardian demons
They came to rescue me
During a dreadful slumber
I felt frozen hooks all over me
It was magical and startling
Nevertheless, the fear came to me
I was wandering, lonely and vulnerable
They were hunting me in the dead of night
I could hear their steps behind me
But I couldn’t discern a shadow from a glimmering star
As the clouds had overwhelmed the night sky
And the moon had vanished quietlyWherever I attempted to proceed
I couldn’t find any portal to flee that abode
My gown, adorned with blood and snow, had accompanied me
The creatures of the underworld traced my every movement
It seemed to me that I was mesmerised and hypnotised by their spells
While a massive chain of hooks and pins entwined my body like a metallic vine
I was an evanescent creature, falling apart into the abyss of decay and despair
Under the indifferent gaze of the stars, cold and leadenThe soft snowflakes were falling all over me
Kissing my scorched and slashed skin
Bleeding and sobbing, I had to face my fears and my cruel fate
No refuge was granted to me
No lovely embrace was going to welcome me
I had lost all my hopes, and my longings were reduced to ashes
I was condemned to wander endlessly in an abyss of doom
Where I disappeared completely, and no memories of my existence were left
Mortification and delirium were no longer my guardian demons, but the ominous and frightening flanks of myselfHow could I have deceived myself so recklessly?
How could I have allowed myself to surrender to death?
It was so brutal to admit that I had died ominously
And moreover, that my name had been erased from the mortal realm
My wishes of self-destruction had come true unexpectedly
I was ensnared by the monsters I had birthed within myself
They swallowed my heart each time I was overwhelmed by a passion
I had become the creator of my own downfall
Each flame of desire had transformed into a sharp dagger, piercing me with devout cruelty
Nothing could have been stopped anymore
I was condemned and obliterated.
Elisabetta Esther -
Absolute Quietness
Absolute quietness numbed me into a slumber that made me regret all my desires and reminded me of my foolishness. I might have forgotten who I was because of a plethora of my dispositions inhabiting my soul.
I couldn’t clearly see what awaited me, since my fate was hidden beyond a gloomy swamp of illusions and deceptions. A forest of mangroves was discouraging me from advancing. Hence, I was retained by their leafy claws.
I couldn’t discern between imagination and reality anymore, so profuse were the hallucinations I was enthralled by. I felt no fear or panic, but I could hear a lullaby of hoaxes tearing my heart with their delicate hooks.
That hypnotic stillness was concealing my obliteration. A dreadful oblivion was awaiting me like adored prey. I had no choice but to become a tiny doll made of porcelain and withered flowers. And so I was cast away and I perished in dismay.
All my lost dreams and eagerly guarded treasures resurfaced in the marsh of desolation and delirium. I had reached the edges of the realm of death.
So forsaken was I in the chasms of my daydream that I had forgotten the presence of the stars on a majestic winter night. Truly, I had sought too long the sense of my existence, and I had never found it.
In my absolute quietness, I had found chaos and tragedy. There wasn’t even a fragment of hope that I would be redeemed by my destiny. I had been cast away by the luminaries that glimmered in all their magnificence.
The moon hid behind gloomy clouds so thick that it was impossible to ignore their yearning for spells and magical hexes. The sky’s immense shadows touched my swamp, melting in it like ethereal soap bubbles.
Elisabetta Esther