Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: alone

  • The Visions Of My Soul

    The Visions Of My Soul

    The visions of my soul strike my mind
    I never see to end of the motionless disheartenment
    In silence, I wait for a prolonged rain to end
    I know the world will not last forever
    In hope, I live a dreamless life made of disillusions
    Lies in the deepest darkness with no return at all
    Where everything is dim and the night is quiet
    The rising waves and the gloaming break me
    Surprise and wonder echoes seem to be heard from afar

    The visions of my soul fly like a rose
    They are born to face the earth’s fate
    I have learned how to dream
    A new life is present
    Every word is not a mystery
    It is the only way to be
    Unmindful and alone
    I have never known of all the rituals I dreamt
    No one should know

    The visions of my soul go back to the years and life’s past
    A long journey is waiting now for me
    A perfect existence to read
    Though I still enjoy thinking about perspectives
    I’m looking forward to each night with sadness
    Perhaps it has been written without rhymes
    I cannot always be concerned in ways far away too much longer to write
    A very different way to be in art
    I see words as they were assigned to me for the way I exist

    The visions of my soul have vanished in the sky
    And as the birds cease singing in their nest
    At twilight, my memories fade away
    My heart is close to the firmament and yet so free
    The dreams, the air, the sky, the sea, the trees and the earth help me to find myself
    I glimpse the bright clouds and the leaves flying down
    Whilst the stars gleam upon me
    I become free from those old and deceitful longings.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Shadows Of Memories

    Shadows Of Memories

    Shadows of memories
    They are made and forgotten
    There is a thought I lost time ago
    Who cares about the time?
    I am walking alone on the way to my intentions
    Things do seem fine and picturesque
    A lifetime was then lost
    The world wants to regress
    Life would be extraordinary without vanity

    Shadows of memories unfold
    Like purple-tainted screams
    While the eyes are still flying
    Behind the illusion to exist
    Just as I once had said
    The presence is no longer desirable
    If my true vision could see
    The sea seemed to be in bloom
    A new life comes once more

    Shadows of memories
    While the world is lost on Earth
    Being destined to doom
    A unique moment comes when old mysteries are learned
    And an hour becomes too long
    Time is the beauty of a life’s mission
    In my mind dwells a calm night shadow
    Dressing in love’s desire

    Shadows of memories are lost
    Time keeps ticking pleasantly
    Instant grief is left forgotten in the abyss of oblivion
    I am sleepless, and I feel unseen
    Only a dream and sorrow are discovered in my treasure chest
    Since the same frolic is always played
    It is rare to be happy to care when life is quite sad
    And respect and love will only thrive on being authentic
    In ways far gone, trust should never have been destroyed

    Shadows of memories remain
    No life should be taken for granted
    Dreams and thoughts wander together
    Spring came into my space
    My slumber is a place of joy and regret
    A mirage of infinity
    The stars of memories are fading high
    The soul is nothing but a breath and an illusion
    In the sunshine and rain, the happiness is all gone

    Shadows of memories in my mind
    Trying to live till they start to fade
    I write a lot of words that I want to release
    But nothing was forgotten in my senses
    When I found out my heart
    Home is in the sky
    Occasionally, roses play with stars
    Everything is peaceful
    Waiting for whatever might happen tomorrow.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Land Of Dreams

    The Land Of Dreams

    The land of dreams has no soul
    I am a dream maker
    Not human anymore
    But I live in my truth
    It is a paradise which has always been created
    Never well known so much
    My past was just a lie
    So many times and ways I lived
    Always seeking a place of happiness
    When I find out a world
    I am always striving to live in perfect stillness

    The land of dreams was not filled with darkness
    It is the world beyond and everywhere
    Where nothing is lost in memory
    And the ocean runs over where only truth can be found
    So many secrets which cannot be seen
    In existence, everything is lost in sight
    With the rain to stay like my own birth
    Looking for the beauty in my heart
    Life is not always fabulous and simple
    A unique gift and a loving treasure
    My desires and shadows endure
    With a glance at the dark

    The land of dreams has no name
    Under the misty sky, the wind blows through darkness and fear
    And my dreams never shall now be seen
    Sometimes there is a meaning in the senses
    There is a life beyond destiny
    The stars are out of the shade
    The remembrance I’ve met in the far past
    Too much has been forgotten forever
    I was not somewhere, and the future appeared somehow
    Wisdom is often seen by time or sight
    The world of misery is in its own value
    The soul needs no choice

    The land of dreams is an echo I saw
    And it is already gone and lost
    Empty darkness, I shall become
    Alone in the most sincere silence
    Only the shadows are clear and warm
    So far, long ago, my longings have ceased
    Releasing the past and rejoicing in the storm’s dusk
    Tears without pain
    In happiness and hope
    I rely on my excellent intuitions
    No longer a bliss among my delusions
    Though my soul is uncorrupted in every way.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Waiting no longer
    Life seems like a dream that will break
    Many things belonging to love always end
    From a life filled with sorrow and bliss
    Time ended everything
    And happiness faded away
    How could I feel hope and fear without a soul
    Being my heart a fragment of despair and desire
    Coping the frightful pain stabbing my soul
    When I stare at my reflection on a white wall
    As it would be another me waiting for my end

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The silent darkness is whispering secrets
    I’m mute because that is how I live
    Invisible and speechless
    As a constant ghost would check my state of mind
    I might be fearful, but I am not
    My soul has never seen the present
    Being bonded between the past and the future
    Its arrival and its flow
    It shall lead to new things to come
    Hope begins once again
    Until it is crushed into pieces

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The truth does not halt in the fall
    I live with wonder
    When there is no need to hide
    Love might give eternal light
    Existence becomes free of grace
    And everything becomes blind
    My thoughts glow above my eyes
    In a perpetual chase for limited emotions
    My mind’s endless glare overcomes me again
    In every moment, a life is born
    A beauty that will be

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Losing parts of myself
    The hushed tears of misery
    So brave and free is my mind
    I dare not make a new choice
    For without any joy
    Life is powerful as truth
    When a heart is full of sorrow
    And sorrow goes with it
    Then the soul can be sensed within it
    A sorrowful bliss and unexpected transformation flow down through the darkness
    In dreams, I never die for
    Until I stand there all alone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Soft Torments

    Soft Torments

    Soft torments from a poison cup
    Like a dream
    I hold my hopes in vain
    My life is in ache with joys and time
    Far away
    It would not be so late
    To light my pleasure at the silent sight
    Before the storm comes
    I may know that life has faded away
    Because I have lost myself
    And still, it’s not fair

    Soft torments of past mistakes
    A burden that I must pay
    Life was past and dead
    It’s time to learn a new world
    Lost time to defeat
    The dust touched my heart
    And memories could save my mind
    To feel just the dreams of the ocean
    Into my inner space
    A soul could be lost on earth
    Cold like dust and dark like rain

    Soft torments of time
    Building my fantasies made of paper and darkness
    The waves of rainfall cannot feel alone in the blue
    In a beautiful state of deprivation
    Stars are full of fears
    As anguish is forever gone
    In the immensity of the dusk
    The cold light of my life has come to wait
    No pleasure was a wonder to behold
    Falling to weep
    When the heart is full of grief

    Soft torments I had achieved in vain
    Silver clouds still glowing in the sunlight
    A remorseless sight of betrayal in the fragrance of the summer
    The melody that stirs death in nature
    Under the light of flashes dropping in the darkness
    In this sky, my soul cannot be filled with a gleam
    An eternal poem about life
    When the gloominess of every thought perishes in new longings
    Whispering words of pain move through my mind
    Sometimes it’s amusing what wisdom can reveal in the empty obscurity
    Once everything disappears from my glimpse
    Drops of flame lure my heart
    Forever and ever.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Shattered Mirror

    A Shattered Mirror

    A shattered mirror on the door
    I am not so happy
    As I’m afraid
    I know
    My life is in despair
    And I want to think
    Yet alone
    So many beautiful feelings
    The day does not fade in silence
    On the night that was coming
    So deep inside of me

    A shattered mirror
    All life’s dreams are lost
    A fantasy about sadness and rewards
    Forever thought
    The time has been lost and has vanished away
    Nothing may end
    starting another life
    Making a way out of happiness
    Grasping another thoughtless truth
    I can’t see how I feel

    A shattered mirror with no name
    I look towards the dreams
    When I was not there
    A stable cold summer breeze
    It seemed to shine as it gazed at my long chocolate-brown hair
    When the nights were senseless, I was covered in bliss
    And the clock was far and dark
    My hopes were nothing anymore
    Feelingless tears were gone inside of dreams
    A lonely and silent night with empty dreams
    Loud were my hallucinations, like multiple images of sorrow

    A shattered mirror flows through my dream line
    A picture is found again
    I cannot see my reflection
    Birds are silent as they can’t breath
    The breeze through the water runs away to some space
    Flying over life with no desires or pleasures
    The terror of thinking makes me gasp
    Now there was none
    Only a single cloud in the dim night
    The beauty of carved and gloomy trees
    I’ve never appeared to be forgotten

    A shattered mirror
    Like a ghost with a broken smile
    My questions have no experience
    A single cry sank into the silence
    Hoping for new visions of eternity
    I cannot see through my thoughts
    I’m lonely, and I dream
    Staring at my reflection in a broken mirror
    Looking for myself with no speech
    Striving to carry the wind
    making sure that I’m still existing.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Moping In Solitude

    Moping In Solitude

    Moping in solitude
    Loyalty and pleasure
    And a strange state of daze
    It was neither plain nor fair
    Yet as I sat alone
    A weary heart desiring to go
    So lost at last
    I’m alone in everything
    With dreams made of light
    Before the eternal death
    Suffering the time with faith
    Discovering absurdities and disappointment

    Moping in solitude,
    Every time I woke up
    And it would be a happy day
    I walk around and fancy
    It seems so little the pain I felt
    To think again about how people acted and thought
    The world is up to see an end
    And I’ll see where I am going
    The reason I have the capability to do so
    One moment, of course, would be enough
    Then know not even a day of desire
    All would be easy but disgrace

    Moping in solitude
    Not looking for any doubt
    I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
    I found another smile today from the night
    Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
    Over and over again
    On a pleasant highway
    There was not even one reason to stay
    But the road has gone high,
    And, of course, loneliness
    Where love grew dark
    While seeing smirking faces

    Moping in solitude
    Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
    A decadent comfort
    If the end would come
    Because I always knew what was now
    I shouldn’t care
    But listening to the last image
    That would be very pretty
    And yet it really cannot be known
    Of what kind of things
    I must seem to reach out too far
    Beyond any limit and imagination.

    I might envision my defeat
    Loyal to my dreams
    And always lost in the maze of discomfort
    Always hated but never forgotten
    The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
    I will never conform to others’ will.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Solemn Silence

    A Solemn Silence

    A solemn silence in a terrific isolation
    An ocean of ice and fire
    An assembly of anguish and vanity
    Sadness and despondency
    Stars and clouds swirl at every blast of the winds
    Being encompassed in darkness
    A tumultuous remembrance leaves me
    listless and silent
    Now in the night
    And still
    I’ve lived a distant life
    Far from me
    When I was alone
    Where no one is so free
    Which might have changed
    Many times
    Years
    Too suddenly as well as never

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Where all around, my thoughts are bound
    Even if there is a sound
    Silent souls sink into a dim and sweet lake
    The sea waves advance like ancient mountains
    Calm and still lingering in the snow
    Many earthly ghouls float in the aether
    My potion of delirium and defeat
    In an incessant struggle with logic and treacherousness
    What could I be able to leave forever
    Wandering in the infinite dispersion of my emotions
    Getting lost and pretending to find myself
    One of the several versions

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Travelling and losing the path
    In a labyrinth of shattered mirrors and illusions
    Once the discovery is sparkling with dark hues
    I encounter the truth and dismay
    In the loss of beliefs and resolutions
    On a dark and still night
    When the only noise comes from the wind flying through the leaves
    At the dawn of a longly forgotten place
    The clouds seem suddenly collide and burn
    Through the depths of my heart
    A solitary sky had bled away
    In a thousand years of dread
    Amidst the frozen lights

    A solemn silence of the night
    It is like winter after dusk
    The past had gone far away
    All the seasons will blossom and die
    Before the sun hath gone
    At the end of time
    A dream of spiritual passions
    The secret of vanity
    The mystery of a dream
    Once lost forever
    In the immensity of the void
    When a distant wind blasts
    A new spring of every thought begins
    And a realm of starry glimmers
    Lighting the sunset sky
    Beneath the mountains’ stillness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Waves Of Darkness

    The Waves Of Darkness

    The waves of darkness
    Crash against the shore
    As I stand here all alone
    The wind whispers in my ears
    And I feel like I’m forsaken
    The sea is vast and wide
    But I’m not frightened to dive
    Into the depths of my soul
    Where the mysteries unfold
    The sun sets on the horizon
    And the stars fail to light up the sky
    Which is an abyss of decrepit wrecks
    Made of anguish and oblivion
    I have never been created as a dream
    The silence has no fear
    In the sky above, all the worlds spin round
    The waves of darkness flow
    To the land where there’s no light
    An empty place to reach.
    This is how one’s dreams begin.
    With hope and delight
    The waves of darkness
    Are silent;
    And I see
    That world has no end.
    I know
    My mind is the sky
    But
    Its essence is a river.
    Nothing ever is the same
    Darkness is like a fire
    The night has gone with my dreams
    And the light runs out,
    Like thunder lingering on the shore
    And darkness is everywhere
    This dream of mine is quiescent.
    Life is considerably hasty and bitter
    There is nothing left to last,
    All those unknown memories have flown for this day
    Like a flood that overwhelms and destroys the universe.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Trapped In A Deafening Silence

    Trapped In A Deafening Silence

    Trapped in a deafening silence
    The night is already gone,
    Once everything that once had been in the past
    Has been sealed;
    I was asleep, and I stood alone,
    Each day, it might be gone.
    The rain will begin again.
    Scripted, it seems, but then inside me
    All my heart is asleep,
    Forever again alone,
    Never even one day into its life
    Being forgotten.
    A dream…
    But nothing ever heard.
    Trapped in a deafening silence of the wind.
    When everything goes in the aether…
    I am coming up into the darkness.
    Leaving everything behind me
    Where nothing is the same anymore.
    As I am dreaming the sunlight at night
    I wanted to escape
    Like walking in darkness,
    Towards my solitude
    Never coming back,
    I would be gone.
    Trapped in a deafening silence.
    There is no time for finding a place to live,
    A lasting peace of mind and bliss.
    Just wonder how little of the universe is known,
    One will still wish for the end.
    Trapped in a deafening silence
    Only the sound of the emptiness
    And never being aware that it doesn’t exist
    A far better fate than it is
    And what life was able to alter the course of happening
    At any time, there’s a way
    Certainly, a mental tragedy
    Over the world of itself
    It is way too far.
    With nowhere to go when you can realize,
    it has been impossible as I could
    I am in another world in the end.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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