Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: eternity

  • Among Shadows And Monsters

    Among Shadows And Monsters

    Among shadows and monsters, I was left to hover
    Merciless was the despair inside my broken heart, since misery ruled my life, condemning me to wander endlessly. I was left to merciless ghouls haunting me like wicked demons; all of them reminded me of the past I’ve forever tried to flee.

    Time twisted around me like a serpent, devouring every trace of the glow of a dream, while I wandered among whispers and sighs of all those aborted dreams of mine that I couldn’t save anymore. It felt as though I were seeing my decay with my eyes and I couldn’t find any redemption or rescue from my fate.

    I was adrift in a sinking boat during a winter night storm, all alone facing death. Nobody would ever give attention to my defeat but only me. In the quiet void, my voice was lost like a resentful wind howling without being heard. And in that very moment, I realised and accepted my loneliness and my doomed fate.

    My solitude and misery became my companions while an infernal stupor obsessed my mind, leading me to folly through its betrayal. I sat on my throne of darkness and became queen of the kingdom of shadows and black roses. I was no longer afraid of ghouls and monsters because I had come to be a creature of the night.

    In the abyss of anguish, I ruled over my fears and obsessions. My madness became my loyal reflection. All my fragilities and insecurities morphed into mirrors, thorns and candlesticks. Although I was among shadows and monsters, my fears no longer possessed me; instead, they carved arcane signs on my skin from which I bled.

    I discovered delight in my pains and built my castle from disdain. In magnificence and death, I married oblivion and I erased my name from the book of living souls. The stillness of eternity waited for me and I vanished into the aether. I was in the shadows and in the wind, in clouds and stars. I was an ephemeral gloom and a fleeting shadow, a transfiguration.
    Elisabetta

  • Softly In Silence

    Softly In Silence

    Softly in silence, I lie to hide all the deception and lies from my naive heart
    I had to endure an existence of deceit and coercion
    Like a nightmare ghoul oppressing my pale slumber
    In an eternal night of haunting memories and wail

    I had constantly desired to be cherished and loved in vain
    I would have rather been remembered for my art than for my beauty
    So I preferred to hide behind my shield of silence and vanish into the ephemeral aether
    Like the mystic smoke from a burning flame

    Alas, in this silence, I remained quietly still like a crystal gem
    I was a withered bloom in a winter’s storm
    Unseen, unloved, forgotten
    Cradled in the embrace of the darkness

    I did not live for the sake of grace but for the grief
    Each heartbeat was woven in the dimness
    I was but a ghost wishing only to be mourned before bleeding my heart out
    Exanimate, I was sinking into a chaotic ecstasy of sorrow

    The eternal night cherished all my forbidden secrets
    Since I was forever bound to the dim dusk
    And every instant was midnight only for me
    Because I had obliterated time permanently

    I was born just as a punishment by the hands of my wicked fate
    Even the gleaming stars of the midnight sky had no mercy
    They stared at me indifferently as if my existence was just a futility
    I had lost every privilege to dream

    Just for a moment, I strived to change my fortune
    But I had no more strength to continue to exist
    All that I could do was stare at the walls of my dark chamber and fantasise
    I let the realm of dreams and absurdities swallow me

    I had to say goodbyes to the reality and normality
    I became a creature of a world of folly and oddities
    Only frenzies raptured my heart violently, and I let them in
    Softly in silence, I fell into the abyss of my own affliction.
    Elisabetta

  • Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal madness dragged me deep into the dungeon of torment and despair
    A fortress where I couldn’t fly with my imagination
    An isolated island of sorrow and heartache
    Chained by the moans of my own thoughts

    Hence, I started to seek shadows instead of light
    I wandered lost in the wilderness and surrounded by absolute silence
    I became a captive to the memories and echoes of the past
    With the certitude that a wicked fate ruled my existence

    All the mirrors around me sought in vain to reveal the mystery within myself
    In the gloom of their cryptic tales
    For I could not comprehend their bizarre words
    Because they were just utterances lost in the infinite void

    In that abyss of subliminal madness
    The relentless wind of laments was blowing against me
    Gelid arrows that pierced through my body
    Fragments of anguish that were sharp daggers

    Profound wounds were carved on my heart
    Too deep for time to mend or forget
    Bleeding sorrows staining the hours
    Instants marked by silent screams

    Grief became a solemn veil that shrouded me
    Memories burned like inextinguishable flames
    And all that remained were ashes of dreams scattered in the wind
    Beneath the moonless dark sky of my endless night

    Nothing remained to me
    Not even a flake of hope
    Not even a fragment of a dream
    But only a subliminal madness to relieve my tragedy

    In silence and solitude
    My life was merely a paroxysm of darkness
    A frenzy of obscure nightmares chased me
    I could only sigh at the sound of raindrops getting me through

    In this desolate maze of endless sadness
    Not even a flicker of defiance was burning within me
    I couldn’t hear any whisper of solace
    I crawled through the mist of my own despair

    The shadows that once enticed me now suffocated me
    And the silence, once my treasured haven, transformed into a dungeon
    Whenever I strived to chase the faintest pleasure
    I was left aimless and shattered

    I still couldn’t find a realm beyond this dark veil
    A world where torments were no longer my torturers
    Hence, I was bound to this endless darkness
    And my heart was filled with subliminal madness.
    Elisabetta

  • The Gaze Of My Heart

    The Gaze Of My Heart

    The gaze of my heart follows passions
    Like a moth entranced by the moon’s wicked glow
    Hovering through the realms of fire and shadow
    Where longings bloom in silent anguish

    It ignores wisdom, and it doesn’t fear any abyss
    Drawn to forbidden dreams and extravagant art
    My heart gleams at the verge of madness
    And it sculpts sorrow into an artwork of dark

    Through secret passageways of velvet dusk
    Where dreams entwine with heartbreaking sighs
    The gaze of my heart will never falter
    Even when a desire bleeds and dies

    Striving to forget the bruises of love and devotion
    Still, my heart never ceases to beat
    Even amid the wildest storm of life
    It bleeds but rises from the ashes of sorrow

    My heart drifts through shadows, refusing to break
    Carrying the weight of memories yet still seeking passion
    Bound by the chains of the past, yearning only to fly
    My heart weeps beneath the moon, longing for release

    Nonetheless, the night holds me captive
    I became a prisoner of grief and anguish
    And each tear of mine is a dream lost in the cold and silent air
    As I seek consolation and solace that I cannot find

    I reach through the darkness, yearning to touch the stars
    But they gleam and vanish in the infinite sky
    While the night conceals its secrets, shrouded in despair
    Like the fleeting touch of a dream that never could become tangible

    A gelid breeze of illusions hits me
    Whispering me only cruel and fleeting promises
    Trying to chase them, I end up in the emptiness
    My endless pursuit is a vacant seizure

    My heart becomes a frail ship adrift in an ocean of delusions
    Trembling at each dark shadow towering over it like a giant wave
    I search for meaningful signs in the endless nights
    Although the stars don’t gleam anymore for me

    In this abyss of sorrow, I remain
    Finding no rest
    The gaze of my heart loses its sight
    And the echo of my distressed soul is suppressed for eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • My Heart Is Made Of Ink

    My Heart Is Made Of Ink

    My heart is made of ink and blood
    My heart is made of fantasy and dreams
    Surreal place of celestial beauty and stars
    An enigmatic and impenetrable domain

    A realm where thoughts are tangled in fragile webs
    And spectral creatures swirl beneath the silvery light of forsaken moons
    While silent winds carry tales from ancient fables
    Under a sky brushed with infinite hues

    In this realm, I am both adrift and entwined
    My heart is bound to the ink that flows through my veins
    My entire body is blooming like a flower of rhymes
    Where verses unfurl from my petals and thorns

    A world tempest of emotions surges in my heart
    Crumbling my essence into the dust of decay
    Carving elegies upon the hollow firmament
    Where no stars are allowed to shine

    The constellation of startling stars dissolves into the abyss of emptiness
    The obscure chasm that stretches in front of me
    Alluring me in its terrifying emptiness to swallow my soul
    While letters are dripping from my fingers like midnight raindrops

    I became part of the eternity of the abyssal night
    I am no longer bound by shapes or names,
    I dissolve into the void of eternity,
    Like a tiny snowflake lost in the stillness of oblivion

    My desires are fading into the marrow of the darkness
    Within the silence, mysterious secrets are engraved in the bones of dreadful shadows
    And unspoken ballads are waiting to be unconcealed
    An inextinguishable flame is burning and flickering within the core of twilight

    I am drowning in the deep abysm
    Although even in the most profound darkness, ink still flows like blood from my heart
    And my insolent utterances burn against the void
    A ghostly glimmer where stars once shone

    My heart is made of ink and darkness
    My heart is a requiem of dreams and sorrows
    A secret alcove veiled by the mist of silent elegies.
    Elisabetta

  • Claustrophobic Thoughts

    Claustrophobic Thoughts

    Claustrophobic thoughts on solitude and self-love
    Duty was the master of my obsessions
    Although I was travelling in an unreachable remote realm
    Where I was not aware that I could have dreamed

    The surprise of being a part of the time and eternity
    But as an invisible and ethereal creature of darkness
    Longing I could manifest all the desires of mine
    Faraway from ambiguous wicked beings

    Enticed by my love and desire for my untouchable beloved
    Who perceived but ignored my passion for him
    Hence, frustration and impossibility separated me
    Keeping me awake at night and a dreamer in the middle of the day

    Whenever I could have the chance to meet him
    I would rejoice in his vision and sometimes voice
    Striving to obtain some quick and volatile attention
    For just a few instants that sounded like an eternity

    Silence and loneliness waited for me
    In every corner of my mind
    Whenever my hope could have been fulfilled
    In my naive dreams

    Waiting was the only option
    Even forever
    As long as I could be there not far from him
    With my heart

    Dreams and illusions are my merriment
    Like a multicoloured lamp enlightening sleepless nights
    While my claustrophobic thoughts trapped my mind
    In a vortex

    Letting the river of life captivate me
    I float like a leaf on the cold waters of fate
    When uncertainty is the ruler of the realm
    Echoing my name

    Words like carved truths on my soul
    Conducting me to my unknown destination
    I become words
    I become memories

    Vanishing in the void
    All that remains of me are my fears and longings
    Cling to my love
    Burning like an inextinguishable flame
    Pure like the blossom of a crimson rose.
    Elisabetta

  • I Lived In Death

    I Lived In Death

    I lived in death, and the death lived in me
    As long as memories were within me
    As long as I relied on my dungeon of darkness and dismay
    The daggers of betrayal stabbed my heart and soul
    Numbing my mind in an eternal slumber for a decade of decay

    Foolishness was my wisdom and guide
    For I forgot my name at a time without the time
    In the eternity of forgetfulness of myself
    Living forcefully without the intention of life
    Doomed to solitude, numbness and death

    And so I wrote my despair and desire for not being any more
    Prisoner of fate and false scenarios
    I pretended to live believing in other truths and myths
    A spell of death and violence was written on my heart
    Still not free from the cage of demise and darkness.

    I lived in death, and the death lived in me
    Trusting the undying spirits of deception
    Captivating my heart and soul like vultures
    Avid of my mystery and innocence
    Having been thrown into a cave with no way out

    Slumber was my only loyal companion in my non-life
    Slammed doors and broken windows and screams the constant guests of my trap
    Explosions and metal dust were falling over my realm of nightmares
    Dreaming of not dreaming anymore forever

    Falling into unloveable harbours of uncertainty
    Being unintentional and detached in my survival
    Nonchalant about the future as I was destined to vanish
    Secrets and memories were pinning me down like a fallen butterfly

    I lived in madness
    Pretending to exist in a phantom reality
    Striving to scream but without success
    I’ve been an embalmed doll, trapped in a glass cage
    Untouched by love.

    My heart and lips have been sealed
    By the pins of sovereignty and hegemony
    Waiting to be forever free I feast upon myself.
    Elisabetta

  • Delusional Expectations

    Delusional Expectations

    Delusional expectations in the midst of the night,
    When the most profound silence enveloped every corner of the realm of reality,
    The solitude ruled the entire realm of arcane and magical dreams.

    Darkness and light were both present in a frolic of magic spells,
    Flowers and trees grew taller every night, relying on desires and deceptions,
    Along the banks of rivers of oblivion.

    Remembrances fell down on cold soil like dead leaves,
    Making the noise of tombstones on forgotten graves,
    Echoes of souls lost in the void,
    Calling from beyond, where time no longer reigned.

    Shadows stretched their domain for every whisper of the wind,
    Dancing beneath a pale, evanescent moon,
    As the night creatures began to sing their silent melody.
    Fate lingered over every sigh and lament,
    As the boundary between dream and death blurred into obliviousness.

    Ephemeral phantoms wandered beneath twisted trees,
    Their hollow gazes fixed upon the distant stars,
    Which no longer offered promises of mirth or hope,
    In fact, they provided only a reflection of their despair.

    The scent of decay drifted through the air,
    A reminder of the countless stories left untold,
    Forgotten by the living and the dead.
    Yet, within this realm, they lingered,
    Bound by the remnants of a magic long since faded.

    In the centre of this spectral realm,
    A lone figure stood amidst the expanding dark,
    Cloaked in glooms, their sights filled with silent yearning.
    They scrutinised the cycle of night’s dominion,
    With no solace in the rising of the dawn.

    The river’s slow current carried away forgotten remembrances,
    Washing them clean of all the pain and sorrow,
    Only to return them once again,
    Draped in the midst of eternity’s frigid embrace.

    Delusional expectations blossomed in this endless twilight, like dreams of deliverance,
    They were no more than other illusions,
    Further delusions wrapped in the silence of the night.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Fearless Sorrow

    Fearless Sorrow

    A fearless sorrow was the ruler of the realm of darkness and delusions. Not even the silence would have been so successful without it.

    Surreal dreams succumbed to the power of deception and fear. Nothing could have been altered, not even the cynical fate, as the grasp of sorrow and despair tore everything.

    Sorrow reigned over every corner, like ivy clinging to the shadows, dragging everything into its cold embrace.

    The stars themselves blinked out of existence, one by one, as if they, too, had surrendered to the desolation.

    Unspoken lamentations filled the gloomy aura, and each sigh was a reminder of the weight of existence.

    What once flickered with hope had long been extinguished, leaving only hollow echoes where light had dared to tread.

    The horizon, once vibrant with the promise of dawn, now stood still—a jagged line dividing the unknown void from the nothingness below.

    Time itself seemed to stretch and warp, losing meaning as the days merged into one endless, suffocating night.

    Beneath the ever-looming sky, the earth trembled with the weight of forgotten truths. There was no escape, only surrender.

    Shadows crept through every crevice, whispering the secrets of eternity lost to the wind, each moment a fading spectre of what once was.

    Wandering souls, trapped between life and death, carried the burden of their broken promises.

    Each anathema blossomed as a curse in the desolate landscape, where solemn echoes of laments vanished as quickly as they appeared.

    There was no solace, no reprieve in this abyss; only the cold certainty of oblivion awaited, where cries were swallowed by the emptiness.

    Even the world had grown tired of misery and despair. The endless night stretched on, indifferent to the mortal pains.

    A fearless sorrow consumed all while the relics of longings dissolved into the void, never to return.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Delving into the Darkness

    Delving into the Darkness

    Delving into the darkness, where shadows twist and writhe,
    A step beyond the threshold, a journey far from light.
    The whispers of the void grew louder, filled with grief,
    A world devoid of hope, where none could find relief.

    Once, there was a spark of life, a flame that dared to burn,
    But here, in this forgotten place, all flames refuse to return.
    The walls of night drew closer still, their cold embrace suffused,
    And in the pit of nothingness, my soul became unloosed.

    Delving into the darkness, the air turned full of dread,
    Each breath a hollow gasp, the weight of dreams long dead.
    The earth beneath my feet felt cold, a tomb of silent stone,
    The echoes of my footsteps—whispers of the unknown.

    No cries were left to utter, no tear to break the gloom,
    I merged with every shadow, a phantom of the vault.
    The ground no longer held me firm, nor the sky above my head,
    For in this void, I ceased to be—the living, now the dead.

    Delving into the darkness, all senses were soon lost,
    Time stretched into infinity at an unfathomable cost.
    The shell that once embraced my warmth was now cold, fragile, racked,
    The spirit that defined my being faded, lost, and sacked.

    A figure of a forgotten entity, I wandered through the shade,
    My name, my face, my history, all memories decayed.
    The world beyond had faded, its contours out of sight,
    And in this endless chasm, I vanished from the light.

    Delving into the darkness until there’s nothing more,
    A silhouette upon the void, unseen by any shore.
    I am the night, the silence, the fear within your chest,
    A remnant of a world erased, an eternal, restless guest.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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