Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: existence

  • Somewhere In My Dreams

    Somewhere In My Dreams

    Somewhere in my dreams, random thoughts enveloped my mind, and the bitter memories of what I have lost—of my buried treasures—saddened my heart.

    It was as if I had surrendered myself to my own steps, walking down an avenue lined with dead trees, and with closed eyes I had defied the wind, which whispered to me words and secrets I no longer remember.

    Weighted down by my anguish, I could not see a glimmer of light, of hope, that might guide me in a clear and lucid direction. All I could find was only chaos and fear—a dread that tormented me, the fear of never being able to grasp my dreams, of never being able to enclose them within the cage of my heart.

    As much as I longed to cling to life, to my plans and dreams, their manifestations fell into the abyss of emptiness—an abyss that sought to swallow me into its chasm.

    And I remembered all the principles that had been taught to me, shaped like a golden cage in which I was made to live my entire life—bound by rigid conventions, dark as chains coiled around my ankles and wrists, suffocating me like sly ivy twisting about my neck, its soft and slender leaves wrapping my face in a silent, silken strangle.

    No, absolutely not. Stupidity has never belonged to me, nor hypocrisy, nor superficiality. And yet, I have always stood beyond an invisible wall—between myself and other mortals, who have always found me unusual, strange, even impossible to define within their social and mental structures.

    Excessively extreme in my obsessions, in my feelings, in my passions and in my visions. I have always been—and still am—a visionary, a dreamer at the mercy of events that have never truly belonged to me, for even now I find their traces in the vault of my past, like fragments of memories scattered across the sky above my head.

    Somewhere in my dreams, I’ve got lost in the labyrinth of reveries, trying to find myself—but in vain, for, in truth, I have never known myself, and I have never found who I truly am. I have always lived with the illusion of knowing, the illusion that others spoke the truth to me—as if their words were pearls of wisdom, as if they could guide me.

    But in the end, what I found was only an illusion. Only betrayal. My heart has been permanently defiled by the torments of mortals and by the shadowy mirages that have always hindered my path.
    Elisabetta

  • I Am an Infinite Essence

    I Am an Infinite Essence

    I am an infinite essence, not a face nor a body,
    I am not a nationality nor a religion,
    I am not a temper nor a character,
    I am not my long blond hair nor my skin’s colour.

    I am not the scars etched on my soul,
    Nor the joy that dances in the light,
    I am not the silence of stories untold,
    Or the shadows that stretch in the night.

    I am not the title upon my name,
    Nor the career I chase in the fray,
    I am not the victories or the shame,
    Or the words I’ve spoken that led me astray.

    I am not the eyes that gaze at the sky,
    Nor the hands that reach for the stars,
    I am not the dreams that flutter and fly,
    Or the burdens that cling like invisible bars.

    I am not the laughter that spills from my lips,
    Nor the tears that carve rivers on my cheeks,
    I am not the journey of countless trips,
    Or the wisdom in silence when no one speaks.

    I am not the colours that paint my mind,
    Nor the paths that I’ve wandered alone,
    I am not the future I hope to find,
    Or the echoes of a heart turned to stone.

    I am not defined nor definable,
    I am an infinite essence, like the universe,
    A fabric stitched, forever bold,
    Each thread is a story, a cosmic verse.

    I am the multifaceted gem in the light,
    Reflecting hues of joy and despair,
    A mosaic of shadows, both dark and bright,
    Embracing each layer with the boldness to dare.

    I am the chains of the past that bind,
    However, I rise, unshackled, to embrace the new,
    In every facet, my essence is defined,
    A symphony of being, forever true.

    I am the whisper in the depths of the night,
    The pulse of the earth beneath the grounds,
    I am the spark that ignites the fight,
    The heartbeat of dreams, raw and sweet.

    I am the uniqueness that flows like a stream,
    Unbound by the labels that people assign,
    I am the flicker of hope, a fragile dream,
    A quilt of tales, uniquely mine.

    I am the silence that lingers, a tranquil embrace,
    The truth that transcends all the ways that divide,
    I am not a single reflection but a multifaceted blaze,
    In the vastness of being, I choose to abide.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • On The Verge Of Doom

    On The Verge Of Doom

    On the verge of doom, where shadows cling,
    Beneath the endless skies of decay, no light to show.
    A land of sighs and tears breathes its last, steeped in dread,
    As night consumes, the sun leaves all hopes dead.

    The scent of oppression pervades with shadows of despair,
    Each dream becomes an illusion as the world lies broken.
    The trees stand twisted, their branches bare,
    Grasping at the stars as if seeking solace unspoken.

    On the verge of doom, the silence reigns,
    A haunting emptiness of forgotten pains.
    The moon hangs dim, a spectre in the night,
    Casting ghostly glimmers, a wicked light.

    Raindrops fade softly along the cobbled lane,
    Where memories linger, steeped in anguish and pain.
    The castle looms, its towers cracked and worn,
    A sentinel of sorrow, where dreams are torn.

    On the verge of doom, in chambers adorned,
    With dust and despair, wraiths of phantoms curl.
    They beckon with tales of those lost to time,
    Of loves that withered, of life’s cruel rhyme.

    Hope strives to cling tenaciously to the edge of the night,
    A flicker, a spark, in the grip of the fright.
    But darkness devours, as it always has done and always will,
    And on the verge of doom, all battles are worthless.

    On the verge of doom, the silence hangs heavy,
    Darkness creeps upon all realms, its grip tightening fast.
    Desire turns to ashes, consumed by the keeper,
    In this hollow silence, all dreams are betrayed.

    In the echoes of silence, in the depth of the gloom,
    Lies the haunting refrain of impending doom.
    Among the shadows where the weary hearts dwell,
    Forever entwined in the web of the invisible.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Unopened Pages

    Unopened Pages

    Beyond the cover, realms await, unseen,
    In every book, a path to what has been.
    However, here prejudice stands, with its labels in the hands,
    Dismissing truths, it barely understands.

    The minds that bind themselves with endless chains,
    Are deaf to stories’ wisdom and knowledge gained.
    They close the book before it’s fully read,
    Content with titles, names, and what’s been said.

    But truth defies the cages they create,
    It bends beyond the lines that separate.
    For every story written holds a key,
    To unlock hearts and set the spirit free.

    To judge an essence by labels is to miss
    The depth of life, the beauty in the abyss.
    The page that holds the answers lies untorn,
    Nevertheless, senses stay closed, and ignorance is born.

    Beneath the ink, shadows twist and creep,
    Murmurs from forgotten worlds sleep.
    The words, like phantoms, haunt each line,
    Begging to be freed from the threads of time.

    More than the surface, deeper should they dive,
    For in those words, the most trustworthy self survives.
    The books unopened hold a thousand skies,
    And in their pages, prejudice defies.

    The label shouldn’t blind crowds from the tale,
    For in the written word, all hearts prevail.
    To open books is more than just a task,
    It frees the soul from every mask.

    And as the pages crackle in the night,
    A ghostly hand beckons toward the light.
    No thought confined, no mortal boxed away,
    For every story lives beyond the fray.
    The truth of existence cannot be simply named,
    It’s written comprehensively, with words that can’t be tamed.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Hollow Silence

    The Hollow Silence

    The hollow silence gripped the night,
    Beneath the weight of silent skies,
    Where stars once whispered dreams of light,
    But faded away as desires had died.

    The wind of life, a fleeting spark,
    Danced through the trees, then quickly waned—
    Moments dissolved into the dark,
    Lost to the hollow silence’ gloom.

    Time marched on, indifferent still,
    A tireless thief, unseen, unkind,
    Stripping bare the fragile will
    Of those who sought but could not find.

    The hollow silence swelled and grew,
    A wave that drowned all sound, all sense—
    The world spun on, yet no one knew,
    Trapped in its vast indifference.

    No light to guide, no ardour to grant,
    The weight of days, too vast to bear—
    For in that void, all breathed, all lived,
    Nonetheless, it only grasped at hollow air.

    With each effort made, an echoed sigh,
    A sunken sound, a ghostly tread,
    Chasing stars that blurred and died,
    In skies where all the dreams had fled.

    The sun did rise, the moon did fall,
    But neither heeded mortal cries—
    Existence, vast, untouched by all,
    Turned a blind, unfeeling eye.

    The hollow silence claimed its prize,
    Wrapped every thought in numbing frost—
    For in the end, beneath those skies,
    Reckoning all that was treasured and lost.

    And finally, a longing, despite the void,
    For meaning woven in the haze,
    Seeking truths that fate destroyed,
    In endless nights and hollow days.

    A hollow silence called so near,
    Its cold embrace, a final snare—
    The search for answers, year by year,
    Yet only shadows lingered there.

    Still wandering, lost and small,
    Through labyrinths of endless nights—
    Hoping, though fearing the fall,
    That something waited beyond sight.

    But time, relentless in its flight,
    Left all dreams to fade away—
    The distant resonances of the night,
    A silent plea that none could sway.

    Reaching for more eventually only found,
    The hollow silence, all around,
    Burying all without a sound.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Ephemeral Life

    An Ephemeral Life

    An ephemeral life had endured the shadows of dread,
    In a garden where roses had once bloomed bright and red.
    Petals, once vivid in sunlight’s warm caress,
    Had withered and crumbled in spectral distress.

    The sun, harsh and unforgiving, had scorched each bloom,
    Turning vibrant splendour into a sombre tomb.
    Moonlight, pale and ghostly, draped the garden’s decay,
    Casting an eerie pallor where the flowers had lain.

    The breeze, once gentle, had grown sharp and cold,
    Whispered secrets of a beauty that death had told.
    In the stillness of twilight, where shadows had crept long,
    The garden lay haunted by a mournful song.

    An ephemeral life of once vibrant blooms, now ghostly and frail,
    Had bowed to the earth, and their colour had grown stale.
    Each flower, a relic of a fleeting moment,
    Had succumbed to darkness and the deafening silence.

    The fountain, now stagnant, held the murky remains
    Of water once clear, now a grave for the chains.
    Its ethereal music had turned into a low groan,
    A dirge for the blossoms that the grave had known.

    The moon’s cold light revealed a macabre scene,
    Where beauty had faded, leaving only the obscene.
    The garden, once alive with intense happiness,
    Had become a crypt in the embrace of night.

    An ephemeral life, in the stillness that lingered, where shadows sank into the abyss,
    The essence of life had yielded to dismiss.
    An evanescent existence, now lost to decay,
    Wandered through the garden where time had slipped away.

    The sculptures, once regal, had frozen in their dismay and despair,
    Silent custodians cloaked in the chill of the air.
    Their features, carved in stone, tattered an expression of anguish,
    Glimpses of the fading archaic dreams and praises.

    An archaic ivy, creeping with tendrils so dark,
    Had embraced the remains of a once glittering spark.
    In the garden’s hushed sighs, the past had seemed to cry,
    As the fleeting delight had faded beneath the sky.
    An ephemeral life of what could no longer be redeemed from the doom of death.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Swamp Of Fear

    The Swamp Of Fear

    The swamp of fear and dismay,
    A realm of no escape and no hope,
    Where nightmares ruled slumber
    And hypnosis betrayed ingenuity.

    Idiotic mirrors cast spells over the crowd of senseless ghosts,
    Deprived of every speck of wisdom,
    Wandered in the darkness without a reference,
    Believing the lie as truth.

    Sour tears fell upon the garden of obliviousness,
    A place of refuge for those who sought to destroy memories,
    Confident that the pain would disappear,
    As a vanishing dream in the valley of grief.

    But the shadows only deepened,
    And the weight of forgotten sorrow lingered still.
    In the labyrinth of shattered dreams,
    Each step carried the echoes of forgotten screams.

    Unseen needles pulled at the strings of consciousness,
    Twisting reality into grotesque shapes,
    Ghouls bled into nightmares.
    In the distance, a phantom bell tolled,
    Ringing for the lost souls who kneeled before oblivion.
    They whispered prayers to a silent void,
    Sought release, yet were trapped in endless woe.
    The fog of despair thickened,
    The swamp of fear swallowed all light.

    And the stars themselves flickered out,
    As if extinguished by unseen forces.
    Through tangled vines of despair,
    The withering winds howled secrets untold.

    And the void, cold and indifferent,
    Watched over the endless night of the forsaken.
    Faint glimmers of false hope flickered,
    Only to be swallowed whole
    By the ever-hungry void.

    In this realm where time did not exist,
    The living and dead became entangled,
    Their souls entwined in a dance
    Of eternal unrest.

    The swamp of fear stretched further,
    Claiming all that wandered near.
    In the end, nothing remained
    But relics of forsaken entities
    And dreams that had turned to dust.

    In the suffocating dark,
    A silent scream drowned in the abyss,
    And the cursed lantern faded,
    Leaving nothing but shadows,
    As the swamp of fear spread across an eternity,
    And all sank into oblivion.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Realm Of Solitude And Death

    The Realm Of Solitude And Death

    The realm of solitude and death was the reality of the empirical world,
    Where the paroxysm of loud emptiness and obscenity extinguished the frail beauty and delight.

    Somewhere between the darkness and light, there was a realm of lost desires,
    With no expectations left but only a bitter awareness.

    Soft-spoken words, once tender like nocturnal whispers, were swallowed by the abyss of emptiness,
    Their gentle promises were gripped by a greedy void that rendered them meaningless.

    In such a harsh landscape, beauty was turned into a fleeting spectre, easily consumed by the relentless nothingness,
    Delight, once magnificent and resplendent, had withered under the weight of pervasive desolation.

    Dreams and aspirations lay scattered, their essence extinguished by the crushing weight of a cruel reality,
    Echoes of unfulfilled longings were carved on the cold stones of a barren infinity, starkly contrasting with dreams.

    Every utterance, every mellow promise, disappeared into the darkness,
    The silence, absolute and isolating, caused even the most earnest expressions of feelings to be meaningless.

    The realm of solitude and death induced fragments of hope and beauty to be forever eclipsed,
    Forever forsaken in the relentless march of blankness and sorrow.

    Crying out of despair was just useless because of the imperishable cruelty of fate.
    All the ghostly puppets were powerless, and with time, they believed only to be worthless.

    The terrific silence of the annihilation echoed in the entire universe,
    Where the obscurity destroyed even the faintest flicker of light.

    In this vast emptiness, the stars seemed to mourn in their loneliness; their once bright glow was now reduced to a cold, apathetic shimmer.

    The veil of existence was but a thin cloth, easily torn by the ceaseless winds of despair, leaving behind only relics of bygone days.

    Amidst this astral desolation, expectations lay buried beneath layers of relentless darkness, suffocated by the heaviness of the eternal void.

    Each moment persisted, a remembrance of the unyielding nature of this forsaken realm, where the past and future dissolved into an infinite abyss of sorrow.

    And so, the abyss of solitude and death remained, an unending memento of the demise of lost dreams, where even echoes of existence faded into eternal quietness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Torments Of Existence

    Torments Of Existence

    Torments of existence and death,
    Until the last speck of hope had been granted,
    To dreamers and illusioned vainly expecting realms of dreams,
    Underneath a starless night sky occluded by ignominious clouds.

    Despair hid behind shadows of forsaken longings,
    As the cold wind of fate chilled the bones of lonely ghouls,
    In the heart of the infinite darkness, where light dared not tread,
    And only silent screams of forgotten souls would reverberate unheeded.

    The essence of broken promises and shattered aspirations dissipated into the abyss,
    Unseen and unheard with a load of sorrow heavy as lead,
    In the midst of a reality binding and drenching them in perpetual twilight.

    No trace of lost dreams could have been revealed in the dark labyrinth of hunted spirits, Whose only solace lay in the embrace of eternal nights,
    For in this realm, the fragments of dreams merged with the wails of misery,
    Lost into the void.

    Torments of existence within a mournful maze of endless gloom,
    Within the depths of such despair,
    A gleam of defiance struggled to ignite,
    Amid the shadows of a dead heart.

    Every sliver of light strove to pierce through the suffocating dark,
    Until it became a frail memory of sick diseases,
    A weak flame that could not have endured the majestic abyss of emptiness,
    Swallowing every time and space.

    Death and destruction annihilated every hope and dream,
    Leaving only an empty desolation of shattered illusions and lost chimaeras,
    A barren expanse where the echoes of forgotten hopes lingered faintly,
    Relegated to the recesses of nightmares afflicted by the relentless tide of despair.

    In this forsaken domain, murmurs of bygone fantasies and dreams soared unrestrained,
    Hereafter reduced to haunting and obscene obsessions,
    The relentless march of time brought no solace,
    Only a deeper descent into the chasm of hopelessness.

    Anguished cries resonated eternally in an endless symphony of sorrow,
    And amidst the ruins of a world forsaken by light,
    Lonely figures wandered aimlessly, lost in the maze of torment and desolation,
    Spectres of once hopeful dreamers.

    In this realm where the sun dared not shine,
    And the moon’s glow was but a distant memory,
    Hope had become a relic of the past,
    A forgotten treasure buried beneath the weight of endless distress,
    In the presence of such overwhelming darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Life Backwards

    A Life Backwards

    A life backwards,
    Without sense and without hope,
    All wrong,
    All right.

    Inverted existence,
    Senseless void,
    Hopeless journey,
    Chaotic order.

    Backward strides,
    Lost in time,
    Searching for meaning,
    In the chaos of existence.

    Glimmers of purpose,
    Amidst the madness,
    Fragmented truths,
    In the labyrinth of life.

    Shattered dreams,
    Scattered fragments,
    Lost whispers,
    In the abyss of oblivion.

    Inverted tale,
    Lost and found,
    Backward steps,
    In silent sound.

    Senseless void,
    Where hope resides,
    Chaos reigns,
    In unseen tides.

    Lost in time,
    Strides reverse,
    Meaning sought,
    In tangled verse.

    Amidst the storm,
    Purpose gleams,
    Truths obscured,
    In shattered dreams.

    Scattered pieces,
    Whispers fade,
    In oblivion’s grip,
    Memories cascade.

    A life forwards,
    With sense and with hope,
    All right,
    All wrong.

    Conventional existence,
    Meaningful void,
    Hopeful journey,
    Ordered chaos.

    Forward strides,
    Found in time,
    Creating meaning,
    In the order of existence.

    Brightened dreams,
    Connected fragments,
    Found whispers,
    In the heights of recognition.

    Conventional tale,
    Found and lost,
    Forward steps,
    In resounding sound.

    Meaningful void,
    Where hope resides,
    Order reigns,
    In seen tides.

    Found in time,
    Strides forward,
    Purpose sought,
    In clear verse.

    Amidst the calm,
    Purpose gleams,
    Truths revealed,
    In whole dreams.

    Connected pieces,
    Whispers remain,
    In recognition’s grasp,
    Memories emerge.

    A life spinning,
    With madness and despair,
    All tangled,
    All clear.

    Disjointed existence,
    Void of reason,
    Journey without end,
    Chaos unchained.

    Twisted strides,
    Lost in the void,
    Hunting for meaning,
    In the madness of chaos.

    Flickers of purpose,
    Amidst the chaos,
    Shattered truths,
    In the maze of madness.

    Fractured dreams,
    Scattered shards,
    Echoes lost,
    In the abyss of madness.

    Chaotic tale,
    Found and forgotten,
    Backward leaps,
    In the cacophony of silence.

    Senseless void,
    Where despair thrives,
    Chaos devours,
    In the invisible whirlpool.

    Lost in time’s grasp,
    Strides backwards,
    Seeking nonsense,
    In twisted prose.

    Amidst the tempest,
    Purpose fades,
    Truths hidden,
    In shattered illusions.

    Scattered fragments,
    Whispers vanish,
    In oblivion’s grip,
    Memories dissolve.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

© Esther Racah 2025. All rights reserved.